GQ Tank: The 09-10 Golden State Warriors
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Matchup We've All Been Watiting For: Brandon Jennings vs. CJ Watson!
When Warriors Team President Robert Rowell fist bumped with the team's "GM," Larry "beer caddy" Riley on draft day, the end was already nigh. Oh my, who knew? Oh yeah. Me. http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/06/robert-rowell-revival-clipping-and.html
So in tonight's visit to Milwaukee, after a magical benching of Curry in New York (Cam Inman was spot on: Nellie deprived NY of the chance to boo or whatever they wanted to do to the poor kid), we should expect more bench time for Curry against a current Rookie of the Year front runner, Brandon Jennings. The guy the Warriors passed on for no reason besides, his name wouldn't successfully prop up a ticket sales push in time for the current crew of idiots in the Warriors front office. As I said before, correctly, CJ Watson is ahead of Curry on the true depth chart. Acie Law probably should be at this point, too. Assists numbers, as Stephen Jackson so nicely demonstrated en route to under 30 wins last year, don't mean shit outside a stat sheet vacuum. And Jennings passed Curry on that rookie list as of last night. He won't be the last. Curry can whine to his 30,000 Twitter followers and GQ readership all he wants, he's not worth the Sebastian Telfair-grade hype he's received and he doesn't really look like he ever will be. Oh well. So it goes in the Marketing Basketball Association game.
Incidentally, if there were ever a better time to boot a guy who holds power because of supposed marketing prowess (Robert Rowell and his Great Time Out!, etc.)... it's now. This is a Cosmic Fail on the part of the PR Department. Tim kawakami did great work with his list of Rowell's fireable offenses already: http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/11/09/once-again-rowells-25-fire-able-warriors-offenses-more-fire-able-now-than-ever/
Rowell's constant turnover of racists and weirdos (remember the ugly Ghetto Prom business that got a senior PR guy booted 3-4 years ago... and Ray Ridder, incidentally, promoted?), plus the incredible mess of the PlantGate summer scandal, with Ray Ridder and Bob Fitzgerald posing as ticket-buying fans in Warriors forums, really should have been enough. These guys are slimy as hell and no one deserves the free pass the media gave to Ridder when the PosterGate mini-scandal broke. The guy is in control of his own bullshit and may have already thrown others under the bus to get where he is today. Covering his ass at the first sign of trouble was a mistake on your part, media folks. But Rowell himself, as team president, is mostly indefensible at this point as his Stephen Curry marketing directive completely tanks and Brandon Jennings and others show they've got the true NBA lead guard chops when 3 years younger than the shrimpy score-first Curry.
Jennings, for example, would win and lead the team to better places if they really wanted to replace Ellis in the draft like. they. did. Contrary to their spin at the time. In fact, as the interview transcript from Kawakami linked below demonstrates, he was excited to play with Ellis and the first words out of mouth, more or less, were run, run, and run. But he wouldn't have sold tickets for the first 10 games. About that... 10 games in and we're pretty much done for the season already.
Memory lane on the Warriors' point guard philosophy pre-draft:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/06/23/SP3Q18BK0B.DTL&feed=rss.bjenkins
Meant to do that:
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/basketball/nba/2009-07-14-nba-insider-ellis_N.htm
Jennings talks like a player. Not like a GQ model. Warriors' institutional racism continues? (Hoopsworld lead trick):
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/06/11/warriors-workout-brandon-jennings-and-jonny-flynn/
Bottom line, as I see it, is the Warriors took the groomed, 22-year-old, professional MOUTH who was supposed to be ready (more experience, like Stephane Lasme!) and passed on all the difference-making longterm talent available. They took the little guy with the supposedly best jump shot from the ranks remaining but shoved him directly into an internal roster power struggle and asked him to suddenly become a viable NBA point guard after a (loooooong) college career of scoring first, passing later.
Now, David Thorpe and the rest of the intelligent, hard-working (non-gimmicky drunken) coaching and managerial NBA ranks know the jump shot can be improved at incredible rates with proper technique and training, and that cosmetics like NCAA PPG and jump shooting never trump more substantive concerns in system offenses and strong team concepts. Never mind defense, which the 22-year-old Curry looks permanently clueless about besides the famous Warriors hands-first deflection bullshit that only worked for 20 games in 2007 and means nothing now. So in an offense that could never claim floor space or true ball movement (Fast Break? What's that?) as signatures, just the chuck, the jump shot is of course the only offensive "skill" required. Iso-ball slop means lots of one-on-one drive (no kick, unless it's flashy and/or desperate abortion of a bad idea drive, far too late to matter) and tons of bad shots. As a result, jump shot skills are in fact completely WASTED on any position besides CENTER in the Warriors offense!
Witness, one Anthony Morrow.
Besides the false significance bestowed upon the jump shot in Nelson's drunken XO work, Curry's neurotic Must Pass self-consciousness results in tons of cross-court heaves and too-late deliveries. He doesn't actually see the floor in productive offense as of yet, probably because he's working so hard against his own coach and teammates as he searches for a clue about system and collaboration. But unfortunately, he's on the Warriors, a team he refused to even work out for before the draft. So don't tell us you're sorry, GQ. You rejected us on principle before you ever even met us. Don't complain now. You're not good enough to decisively overrule bad play and coaching. It's not your fault, but it probably means we won't have to make nice together for long.
So the Warriors, per all the pre-draft pundits' correct assessments, screwed the draft up again. They would have taken Curry over Evans, they would have taken him over Flynn, they took him over Jennings and a number of others now ranked well ahead of Curry in not only David Thorpe's shifting rookie rankings, but Cohan's Genius-O-Meter [Production + Projection - PR Hype], too:
1. Brandon Jennings
2. Tyreke Evans
3. Johnny Flynn
4. Ricky Rubio (Hate his Euro GQ hype but astronomical trade value)
5. Ty Lawson
6. Eric Maynor
7. Jrue Holiday (19 and being held out a bit until the Philly blow-up is done)
8. Toney Douglas
9. Jeff Teague (Behind Crawford, and rightly so)
10. Rodrigue Beaubois (Admit it... you don't even know)
11. Darren Collison (Elite defender already)
12. Stephen Curry (22 and whiny, benched for major PG matchups thus far)
While Curry gets the major free passes from the usual Warriors corners, Ellis, Jackson, and Randolph all want out already and Nelson is manipulating injury status again. Andris Biedrins, already the heart of major Warriors trade discussions, may have been intentionally injured by Don Nelson when he was played with an existing injury. Or, it may just be the benching before the trade. Steve Nash and Jason Richardson are doing the heavy lifting in Phoenix, although Stoudemire is putting up solid numbers and playing really hard in his mega contract year. Imagine the moody, lazy, selfish Stoudemire in Golden State. Just imagine it. Biedrins is an All Star in Phoenix. Period. Go for it, you hacks. And keep Curry all you want. Hilarious that you pitched him so hard just to sell a few extra tickets.
It's true, Stoudemire's injury and attitude question marks weren't going to move the needle like one of the major NY media market sell point picks has. So the planning there was solid, the strategy partially successful. Unfortunately, the Warriors forgot that the team's other residual chaos would override any short-sighted gimmickery. In fact, those pre-existing conditions, much like Biedrins' injury (and who knows? Randolph says he's totally healthy while Nelson and the complicit Tom Abdenour et al play talk point chess with a bored media/public), were only exascerbated by the cheap play from Fist Bump and Drunky on this.
This was all obvious from the outset, even as Dan Dibley plasters the forums, blaming the finnicky fans for the team's woes with his best impression of Jeff Kent vs. public opinion (Enjoy the games, people!). Now the latest reports have the Warriors considering moving Nelson to his "consulting" position (http://www.cbssports.com/nba/story/12514475/nelsons-abrasive-style-might-have-him-on-way-out) and throwing the woefully incompetent Keith Smart in as a free replacement option they can dismiss from his interim post easily at season's end when they hand the reigns over to the computer wiz, Stephen Silas. Seriously, that's the plan. They alienated Sid Moncrief or Nellie made it clear he wouldn't let him get a foothold with the organization, even though he's the guy they needed, Ellis' favorite. Cal Cheaney clearly was not a relevant Ellis mentor under the incredibly toxic set of circumstances the team promulgated before attempting any sort of reconciliation (we fly around the country to talk to all of our players in the offseason!). And now, of course, Ellis is the problem per the usual team talk pointers in the forums and the PR releases and media reports.
And....
You know what?
There's far more to cover but it all heads down the same shit-stained hill.
It's over.
Go Kings.
So in tonight's visit to Milwaukee, after a magical benching of Curry in New York (Cam Inman was spot on: Nellie deprived NY of the chance to boo or whatever they wanted to do to the poor kid), we should expect more bench time for Curry against a current Rookie of the Year front runner, Brandon Jennings. The guy the Warriors passed on for no reason besides, his name wouldn't successfully prop up a ticket sales push in time for the current crew of idiots in the Warriors front office. As I said before, correctly, CJ Watson is ahead of Curry on the true depth chart. Acie Law probably should be at this point, too. Assists numbers, as Stephen Jackson so nicely demonstrated en route to under 30 wins last year, don't mean shit outside a stat sheet vacuum. And Jennings passed Curry on that rookie list as of last night. He won't be the last. Curry can whine to his 30,000 Twitter followers and GQ readership all he wants, he's not worth the Sebastian Telfair-grade hype he's received and he doesn't really look like he ever will be. Oh well. So it goes in the Marketing Basketball Association game.
Incidentally, if there were ever a better time to boot a guy who holds power because of supposed marketing prowess (Robert Rowell and his Great Time Out!, etc.)... it's now. This is a Cosmic Fail on the part of the PR Department. Tim kawakami did great work with his list of Rowell's fireable offenses already: http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/11/09/once-again-rowells-25-fire-able-warriors-offenses-more-fire-able-now-than-ever/
Rowell's constant turnover of racists and weirdos (remember the ugly Ghetto Prom business that got a senior PR guy booted 3-4 years ago... and Ray Ridder, incidentally, promoted?), plus the incredible mess of the PlantGate summer scandal, with Ray Ridder and Bob Fitzgerald posing as ticket-buying fans in Warriors forums, really should have been enough. These guys are slimy as hell and no one deserves the free pass the media gave to Ridder when the PosterGate mini-scandal broke. The guy is in control of his own bullshit and may have already thrown others under the bus to get where he is today. Covering his ass at the first sign of trouble was a mistake on your part, media folks. But Rowell himself, as team president, is mostly indefensible at this point as his Stephen Curry marketing directive completely tanks and Brandon Jennings and others show they've got the true NBA lead guard chops when 3 years younger than the shrimpy score-first Curry.
Jennings, for example, would win and lead the team to better places if they really wanted to replace Ellis in the draft like. they. did. Contrary to their spin at the time. In fact, as the interview transcript from Kawakami linked below demonstrates, he was excited to play with Ellis and the first words out of mouth, more or less, were run, run, and run. But he wouldn't have sold tickets for the first 10 games. About that... 10 games in and we're pretty much done for the season already.
Memory lane on the Warriors' point guard philosophy pre-draft:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/06/23/SP3Q18BK0B.DTL&feed=rss.bjenkins
Meant to do that:
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/basketball/nba/2009-07-14-nba-insider-ellis_N.htm
Jennings talks like a player. Not like a GQ model. Warriors' institutional racism continues? (Hoopsworld lead trick):
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/06/11/warriors-workout-brandon-jennings-and-jonny-flynn/
Bottom line, as I see it, is the Warriors took the groomed, 22-year-old, professional MOUTH who was supposed to be ready (more experience, like Stephane Lasme!) and passed on all the difference-making longterm talent available. They took the little guy with the supposedly best jump shot from the ranks remaining but shoved him directly into an internal roster power struggle and asked him to suddenly become a viable NBA point guard after a (loooooong) college career of scoring first, passing later.
Now, David Thorpe and the rest of the intelligent, hard-working (non-gimmicky drunken) coaching and managerial NBA ranks know the jump shot can be improved at incredible rates with proper technique and training, and that cosmetics like NCAA PPG and jump shooting never trump more substantive concerns in system offenses and strong team concepts. Never mind defense, which the 22-year-old Curry looks permanently clueless about besides the famous Warriors hands-first deflection bullshit that only worked for 20 games in 2007 and means nothing now. So in an offense that could never claim floor space or true ball movement (Fast Break? What's that?) as signatures, just the chuck, the jump shot is of course the only offensive "skill" required. Iso-ball slop means lots of one-on-one drive (no kick, unless it's flashy and/or desperate abortion of a bad idea drive, far too late to matter) and tons of bad shots. As a result, jump shot skills are in fact completely WASTED on any position besides CENTER in the Warriors offense!
Witness, one Anthony Morrow.
Besides the false significance bestowed upon the jump shot in Nelson's drunken XO work, Curry's neurotic Must Pass self-consciousness results in tons of cross-court heaves and too-late deliveries. He doesn't actually see the floor in productive offense as of yet, probably because he's working so hard against his own coach and teammates as he searches for a clue about system and collaboration. But unfortunately, he's on the Warriors, a team he refused to even work out for before the draft. So don't tell us you're sorry, GQ. You rejected us on principle before you ever even met us. Don't complain now. You're not good enough to decisively overrule bad play and coaching. It's not your fault, but it probably means we won't have to make nice together for long.
So the Warriors, per all the pre-draft pundits' correct assessments, screwed the draft up again. They would have taken Curry over Evans, they would have taken him over Flynn, they took him over Jennings and a number of others now ranked well ahead of Curry in not only David Thorpe's shifting rookie rankings, but Cohan's Genius-O-Meter [Production + Projection - PR Hype], too:
1. Brandon Jennings
2. Tyreke Evans
3. Johnny Flynn
4. Ricky Rubio (Hate his Euro GQ hype but astronomical trade value)
5. Ty Lawson
6. Eric Maynor
7. Jrue Holiday (19 and being held out a bit until the Philly blow-up is done)
8. Toney Douglas
9. Jeff Teague (Behind Crawford, and rightly so)
10. Rodrigue Beaubois (Admit it... you don't even know)
11. Darren Collison (Elite defender already)
12. Stephen Curry (22 and whiny, benched for major PG matchups thus far)
While Curry gets the major free passes from the usual Warriors corners, Ellis, Jackson, and Randolph all want out already and Nelson is manipulating injury status again. Andris Biedrins, already the heart of major Warriors trade discussions, may have been intentionally injured by Don Nelson when he was played with an existing injury. Or, it may just be the benching before the trade. Steve Nash and Jason Richardson are doing the heavy lifting in Phoenix, although Stoudemire is putting up solid numbers and playing really hard in his mega contract year. Imagine the moody, lazy, selfish Stoudemire in Golden State. Just imagine it. Biedrins is an All Star in Phoenix. Period. Go for it, you hacks. And keep Curry all you want. Hilarious that you pitched him so hard just to sell a few extra tickets.
It's true, Stoudemire's injury and attitude question marks weren't going to move the needle like one of the major NY media market sell point picks has. So the planning there was solid, the strategy partially successful. Unfortunately, the Warriors forgot that the team's other residual chaos would override any short-sighted gimmickery. In fact, those pre-existing conditions, much like Biedrins' injury (and who knows? Randolph says he's totally healthy while Nelson and the complicit Tom Abdenour et al play talk point chess with a bored media/public), were only exascerbated by the cheap play from Fist Bump and Drunky on this.
This was all obvious from the outset, even as Dan Dibley plasters the forums, blaming the finnicky fans for the team's woes with his best impression of Jeff Kent vs. public opinion (Enjoy the games, people!). Now the latest reports have the Warriors considering moving Nelson to his "consulting" position (http://www.cbssports.com/nba/story/12514475/nelsons-abrasive-style-might-have-him-on-way-out) and throwing the woefully incompetent Keith Smart in as a free replacement option they can dismiss from his interim post easily at season's end when they hand the reigns over to the computer wiz, Stephen Silas. Seriously, that's the plan. They alienated Sid Moncrief or Nellie made it clear he wouldn't let him get a foothold with the organization, even though he's the guy they needed, Ellis' favorite. Cal Cheaney clearly was not a relevant Ellis mentor under the incredibly toxic set of circumstances the team promulgated before attempting any sort of reconciliation (we fly around the country to talk to all of our players in the offseason!). And now, of course, Ellis is the problem per the usual team talk pointers in the forums and the PR releases and media reports.
And....
You know what?
There's far more to cover but it all heads down the same shit-stained hill.
It's over.
Go Kings.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Pacers 108, Warriors 94
So the team sucks.
So a no-defense shitfest between two of the league's worst teams is all we have to appreciate this season (Minnesota's David Kahn seems ready to start wheeling and dealing. Ricky Rubio and Flynn probably BOTH on the block- Sessions better for the triangle anyway according to some... http://twitter.com/howlintwolf).
So we're trying to trade the untradeable (http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/10556/don-nelson-its-harder-than-hell-to-trade-that-guy). Best part, Nellie's still drinking and laughing about the whole mess.
So we're smearing the previous generation of Youth Centerpieces (Andris "no incentives" Biedrins, Monta "Ink" Ellis, Anthony "Attitude" Randolph).
So we gave totally unearned leash to a spoiled brat pretty-mouthed shrimp hype ticket sales gimmick draft pick (Stephen "GQ" Curry). Currently plummeting in the rookie ranks. Poised to become the 8th best point guard in his draft class.
At least we're still better than the Pacers!
Oh... about that.
So a no-defense shitfest between two of the league's worst teams is all we have to appreciate this season (Minnesota's David Kahn seems ready to start wheeling and dealing. Ricky Rubio and Flynn probably BOTH on the block- Sessions better for the triangle anyway according to some... http://twitter.com/howlintwolf).
So we're trying to trade the untradeable (http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/10556/don-nelson-its-harder-than-hell-to-trade-that-guy). Best part, Nellie's still drinking and laughing about the whole mess.
So we're smearing the previous generation of Youth Centerpieces (Andris "no incentives" Biedrins, Monta "Ink" Ellis, Anthony "Attitude" Randolph).
So we gave totally unearned leash to a spoiled brat pretty-mouthed shrimp hype ticket sales gimmick draft pick (Stephen "GQ" Curry). Currently plummeting in the rookie ranks. Poised to become the 8th best point guard in his draft class.
At least we're still better than the Pacers!
Oh... about that.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Clippers 118, Warriors 90
Speechless.
I've contacted Daryl Morey to register our collective national embarrassment.
I've contacted Daryl Morey to register our collective national embarrassment.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Almost too easy [really] and The Irrelevant Warriors Captaincy
The Houston game was all I expected and more:
Bad rotations, no team D [Monta Ellis was a man possessed on man coverage, against all team trends], no holding to account of Stephen Jackson or Corey Maggette by the only person who has yet to get it [Don Nelson], incredible individual play from Monta Ellis, overstated "point guard" love of Stephen Curry [can't shoot the NBA 3? I remember when Baron passed neurotically and mugged reactively, too], and not enough Anthony Morrow or Anthony Randolph.
DEAD ARENA.
We Believe! is long gone from Oakland. Oh well. So it goes.
I have high hopes, as always, for the young talent on the roster. But we've seen the draft picks come [we've heard them hyped, some of you have bought the tickets in accordance] and we've seen them go. Time and time again: http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/08/never-forget.html. All we're waiting on with the latest batch is the Rowell/Ridder PR fuck-over and the unceremonious dump that saves Cohan a stray Cadillac Escalade payment or whatever. If it's any consolation [no], Nellie says [and you can believe him!] that the Cohans send all of those beautiful, beautiful pennies they pinch between their butt cheeks to worthy charity causes. Like the IRS. And the Adonal Foyle Trust Fund. And Stephen Jackson's stripper tip jar. And Stephen Curry's Hot Topic Twitter account and league pretty boy slush fund. Sure sure. The Great Humanitarian.
Anyway, I like the young'uns just fine even if I didn't remotely see a "point" guard of consequence on the floor against Houston besides the guy they couldn't EVER stop, Monta Ellis. So I'll wait on major review until Curry and Morrow torch the Phoenix Flames tonight. Right?
Now about that recently vacated captain's chair:
Jason Richardson
Baron Davis
Matt Barnes
Al Harrington
Stephen Jackson
Andris Biedrins
Ronny Turiaf
Andris Biedrins almost traded in the offseason, now conserving his energy for his next team.
Ronny Turiaf is a small, goofy price to pay for a Jackson dump at the trading deadline, I'll wager. Much as I love the cool hair and the dancing on the bench, he's far too often all swagger, no rebounding.
The Warriors captaincy: [Congratulations]
Bad rotations, no team D [Monta Ellis was a man possessed on man coverage, against all team trends], no holding to account of Stephen Jackson or Corey Maggette by the only person who has yet to get it [Don Nelson], incredible individual play from Monta Ellis, overstated "point guard" love of Stephen Curry [can't shoot the NBA 3? I remember when Baron passed neurotically and mugged reactively, too], and not enough Anthony Morrow or Anthony Randolph.
DEAD ARENA.
We Believe! is long gone from Oakland. Oh well. So it goes.
I have high hopes, as always, for the young talent on the roster. But we've seen the draft picks come [we've heard them hyped, some of you have bought the tickets in accordance] and we've seen them go. Time and time again: http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/08/never-forget.html. All we're waiting on with the latest batch is the Rowell/Ridder PR fuck-over and the unceremonious dump that saves Cohan a stray Cadillac Escalade payment or whatever. If it's any consolation [no], Nellie says [and you can believe him!] that the Cohans send all of those beautiful, beautiful pennies they pinch between their butt cheeks to worthy charity causes. Like the IRS. And the Adonal Foyle Trust Fund. And Stephen Jackson's stripper tip jar. And Stephen Curry's Hot Topic Twitter account and league pretty boy slush fund. Sure sure. The Great Humanitarian.
Anyway, I like the young'uns just fine even if I didn't remotely see a "point" guard of consequence on the floor against Houston besides the guy they couldn't EVER stop, Monta Ellis. So I'll wait on major review until Curry and Morrow torch the Phoenix Flames tonight. Right?
Now about that recently vacated captain's chair:
Jason Richardson
Baron Davis
Matt Barnes
Al Harrington
Stephen Jackson
Andris Biedrins
Ronny Turiaf
Andris Biedrins almost traded in the offseason, now conserving his energy for his next team.
Ronny Turiaf is a small, goofy price to pay for a Jackson dump at the trading deadline, I'll wager. Much as I love the cool hair and the dancing on the bench, he's far too often all swagger, no rebounding.
The Warriors captaincy: [Congratulations]
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Warriors Offseason Summary, Month Four:
$25,000?
Guess Stephen Jackson's little-publicized but widely-presumed contract void/league ban period following the Palace Brawl and strip club shoot-up had ended. I'm sure he knew exactly when and I'm pretty sure it was at the close of this past fiscal year. Very clever, that one.
To review: he hired an agent to get a trade set up. Period.
In other news, Stephen Curry has been announced as the most marketable 2009 draftee not named Griffin, as though anyone needed reminding, and the Warriors are already blocking him with good guys on one year deals to play Nelson shitwing small ball (like CJ Watson). Who was screwed with like Mickael Pietrus and Matt Barnes and everyone else before him and won't leave on good terms. Familiar refrain in Oakland. Curry not even all that great but totally famous in the exact opposite way Sebastian Telfair was. Great.
Monta Ellis still wants out and is still being smeared anywhere and everywhere by the Warriors PR tentacles, no matter what Larry Rowell, er, Riley, releases out the PR Hole.
Andris Biedrins screwed out of incentives. According to Sham Sports, all incentives currently listed as UNLIKELY. Sorry Marcus Thompson, you swallowed the team's panic release talk points on that hook, line, and sinker, when they were screwing with his minutes and his games in-season like I said they were. Too easy. I'm sure he's happy as a clam with Nellie.
Anthony Randolph, incidentally, is talking like a new man with his new agent.
Others represented by Mr. Duffy: Marcus Williams, Andris Biedrins, and Speedy Claxton.
Oh yeah, Speedy: no plans to retire or not try to play, meaning no plans to be insurance-covered roster space and no marketability as a trade chip. Unfortunate, but his status is limited to trade entity and this means he has to be paid all year and nets nothing until the trade deadline at the earliest, at which time it will be far, far too late for this season. Commence breath-holding. The Knicks are offering Eddy Curry.
Devean George WILL take minutes from the young bigs who can't shoot the three. Just accept it. He's the healthy version of Austin Croshere, whom the online Homer Moron Tool Hypesters were all about not so long ago. They love predictable mediocrity.
So we're stacked with new versions of Troy Hudson and Chris Webber and can proceed to alienate all the major talent who would win if developed together but, instead, is officially playing out the string until they get a real shot with a real team. But hey, we got Shaun Pruitt! Anything to not play Richard Hendrix!!!
Enjoy.
Guess Stephen Jackson's little-publicized but widely-presumed contract void/league ban period following the Palace Brawl and strip club shoot-up had ended. I'm sure he knew exactly when and I'm pretty sure it was at the close of this past fiscal year. Very clever, that one.
To review: he hired an agent to get a trade set up. Period.
In other news, Stephen Curry has been announced as the most marketable 2009 draftee not named Griffin, as though anyone needed reminding, and the Warriors are already blocking him with good guys on one year deals to play Nelson shitwing small ball (like CJ Watson). Who was screwed with like Mickael Pietrus and Matt Barnes and everyone else before him and won't leave on good terms. Familiar refrain in Oakland. Curry not even all that great but totally famous in the exact opposite way Sebastian Telfair was. Great.
Monta Ellis still wants out and is still being smeared anywhere and everywhere by the Warriors PR tentacles, no matter what Larry Rowell, er, Riley, releases out the PR Hole.
Andris Biedrins screwed out of incentives. According to Sham Sports, all incentives currently listed as UNLIKELY. Sorry Marcus Thompson, you swallowed the team's panic release talk points on that hook, line, and sinker, when they were screwing with his minutes and his games in-season like I said they were. Too easy. I'm sure he's happy as a clam with Nellie.
Anthony Randolph, incidentally, is talking like a new man with his new agent.
Others represented by Mr. Duffy: Marcus Williams, Andris Biedrins, and Speedy Claxton.
Oh yeah, Speedy: no plans to retire or not try to play, meaning no plans to be insurance-covered roster space and no marketability as a trade chip. Unfortunate, but his status is limited to trade entity and this means he has to be paid all year and nets nothing until the trade deadline at the earliest, at which time it will be far, far too late for this season. Commence breath-holding. The Knicks are offering Eddy Curry.
Devean George WILL take minutes from the young bigs who can't shoot the three. Just accept it. He's the healthy version of Austin Croshere, whom the online Homer Moron Tool Hypesters were all about not so long ago. They love predictable mediocrity.
So we're stacked with new versions of Troy Hudson and Chris Webber and can proceed to alienate all the major talent who would win if developed together but, instead, is officially playing out the string until they get a real shot with a real team. But hey, we got Shaun Pruitt! Anything to not play Richard Hendrix!!!
Enjoy.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Stephen Jackson: TRASH
He got the attention he was seeking and it looks like this:
http://dberri.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/stephen-jackson-wants-a-better-team/
[H]is deficiencies overwhelm his few advantages.
As a consequence, although he has played 19,470 minutes in his career he has only produced 15.1 wins. His career WP48 is 0.037, well below the average mark of 0.100. In fact, in nine seasons Jackson has yet to be above average.
...Last year Jackson was paid $6.6 million and only produced 2.4 wins.
...Jackson is also old and expensive. Before the next season ends, Jackson will be 31 years of age. He is also scheduled to receive $35 million across the next four seasons...
When we consider the entire Jackson picture, it seems a contender wouldn’t be helped much if they acquired his services. It’s also apparent that the Warriors shouldn’t care much if he departs. As it stands now, Jackson is going to get $10 million dollars in 2013-14. Given the age profile of NBA players, at that point he will be a very unproductive 35-year old player. So if the Warriors do find a contender that wants Jackson, now is the time to make a deal.
http://dberri.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/stephen-jackson-wants-a-better-team/
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Sneaky Bad
The Warriors couldn't hold off the media cycle any longer, and now the opening season news is not "hey, isn't Acie Law awesome in the preseason?" but instead, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE MORONS DOING?!?!" Or words to that effect.
The Warriors have successfully stifled/avoided serious criticism from most corners since the 2007 freak lucky streak and dream Don Nelson interpersonal pissing contest first round playoff matchup, pushing hope and hyping swagger, testosterone, balls, whatever it was they stole the easy games with for NEVER a full season end to end. Injuries, youth, bad attitudes from Anthony Randolph and Monta Ellis, bad play from Andris Biedrins and Brandan Wright, whatever the excuse and the lie. It all worked for the majority of the fairweather fanbase blindly paying for this slop and rubbing their team icons in private.
No more.
Now the only marketable stories are the general dysfunction and the weird problem player halfway house the team has firmly and irrevocably established, once and for all, as its sole defining identity. It's been common league knowledge for a long time, even as the man makes some strides at the league committee level, that Chris Cohan is effectively a complete non-threat in competitive basketball terms. But the latest bull shit means just about nothing beyond coincidence of reports of possible team sale for the team's longterm future. This man was booed on his own floor at an All Star game, after all. TEN YEARS AGO!!!!! (as of the coming A.S. game).
He can take it. He's already recovered from the latest daily email Rowell sent him, "still shitty," and moved on to his tennis game. Or whatever he does besides figuring out how to competently lead a professional basketball team anywhere but his own tax-evading bank account.
Sucks to be us.
So in the midst of Stephen Jackson's (finally) publicized trade demands, the Warriors pull their usual clever deal and lock up the guys whose names you'll be inserting into this year's round of "Why the hell is _____ playing more than [Insert name of favorite under-25 player here]???"
Oh, first, on the "finally" part: like Al Harrington and Mickael Pietrus before him, this was a long time coming. Monta Ellis is absolutely next, maybe Biedrins too even though we all already know he's on the block as a salary dump/major trade value chip. Jackson grabbed his cash, just like Baron, and completely bamboozled a man with no business making longterm basketball decisions, Robert Rowell. No, that doesn't mean Jackson should be our next President, but it does seem about adequate for the Warriors' typical job search.
Remember, it was all cool last season. We were a young team on the rise with our fierce captain at the helm. But reports are slowly trickling in that Jackson wanted out last year. It's nice to have the information on TIME, this go-round, instead of Steinmetz's and others' famous year-after-the-fact leaky acknowledgments of Al Harrington's issues before the great money-laundering moves for Crawford-Claxton. The team made its own bed here, pushing Jackson as a credible leader and playoff maker, not merely playoff hot streak hot dog, and he failed miserably. And knows it.
To quote Bob Fitzgerald, emphasis shifted: "Stephen Jackson CAN'T play any better."
To quote the world: "No shit."
And so as Warriorland awakens to yet another jackass hangover after yet another reckless binge of baseless optimism, the Warriors make their customary moves while the coffee is still brewing and the bowl is still clung to (read it both ways honestly, I dare you). While the cycle pukes $tephen Jack$on green, they ink obvious problem Mikki Moore and potentially get CJ Watson over the barrel for, if nothing else, another season of playing more minutes than everyone but $tephen Jackson and Kelenna Azubuike.
Pop quiz, who played the most minutes for the team last year?
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/teams/stats?team=gsw&sort=mins&avg=none&order=true&season=2&seasonYear=2009&split=0
That's right, it was Kelenna Azubuike, a player the big fish forum trolls from Rowell's dinner parties say is now nothing but another expiring contract/get paid and get out budget rent-a-shitwing. Congratulations, those of you who regurgitated Bob Fitzgerald/Ray Ridder's glowing D-League coverage on Watson and Azubuike. Feeling proud? Like you're a part of their inspirational story? Get over it. They're the next round of Matt Barnes Nellie Ball mediocrity-gone-hyperdrive-PR spin, then just plain gone. Nellie's done this forever, as I've covered in the past, and Rowell is a connoisseur of fine bullshit, etc.:
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/03/anatomy-of-nellie-shitwing-sandwich.html
And now Mikki Moore WILL play big minutes like Austin Croshere was supposed to and he WILL affect RANDOLPH, Biedrins, and Wright.
Get ready, you incredible schmucks. It's happening.
Watson makes the Ellis dump a near-certainty and Stephen Curry will NOT be playing any more point guard than Stephen Jackson just got finished playing. If that. And we all saw the nice 29 win brilliance that produced. But hey, you probably cleaned house in your fantasy league for that one month, right? Right.
A few predictable fan forum sorts were bending over backwards to proclaim these two items non-news and even Adam Lauridsen downplayed the Moore signing and Watson's status. http://blogs.mercurynews.com/warriors/2009/08/31/motion-sickness-moore-watson-and-jackson/
But the real story here is that the team's three major minute guys last year were Azubuike, Jackson, and Watson, with Crawford, and it doesn't look like much will change this year. Nelson has a documented gimmick and now he has his two veteran half-ass bigmen, Turiaf and Moore. Turiaf is a solid reserve big and a quality guy you want leading your team's bench and locker room vibe. But the team's heavy Turiaf hype as Biedrins' minutes were screwed with mercilessly (and perhaps even his incentives for games played) is mere prelude to the latest dump of yesterday's franchise centerpiece.
Turiaf, great as he is, is no excuse for shitting on Andris Biedrins like the team has and will continue to. The onliners who felt out the Milkki Moore reactions a few weeks before he was signed know well enough how tenuous their world is now. They can deal with it themselves when it leads to serious problems with incredibly talented young bigmen.
The fanbase was happy to relish the failures of Ike Diogu and Patrick O'Bryant, as well as Mike Dunleavy (not a bigman, but a NELLIE POWER FORWARD!), but one of these players has already proved that he was NOT the problem, convincingly. Dunleavy away from Nelson and Baron Davis' shitball antics is a quality NBA player. And his contract expires next offseason. Ouch. Murphy is still a stiff but a league-leading rebounder type stiff. Weird stuff. If Brandan Wright or Andris Biedrins or Anthony Randolph go on to greatness elsewhere (either recognize the odds with this team or shut the fuck up, I say: Randolph's no more reason for hope than Webber was. He's LESS- Webber was better)... it won't surprise any of us.
Same with Ellis, who WILL go on to greatness elsewhere. The Bandwagon imbeciles and Team PR Plants have harped on his attitude, harped on his point guard game, and harped on his injury risk at GREAT length. Baron Davis was apparently no such risk until he was too expensive or too Chris Mullin-y. But Ellis is clearly on the outs with management, so he gets no free passes.
It's science. The Warriors snuck it past you again. Buried the real story under the big fat media hype. Wanna bet $tephen Jackson goes nowhere, actually, and really couldn't care less who pays him as long as he gets to chuck and bitch and sit on his ass wile the opposition runs up the score on the other end now that he played a few games of defense on Dirk and got the money locked up? In that case, here's your core roster as the season progresses:
Watson
Azubuike
Jackson
Maggette George
Turiaf Moore
You bank faith on Anthony Randolph and Anthony Morrow and Stephen Curry getting those big time minutes. You go right ahead. But I've seen this all before. Last season, most recently. Ellis, Wright, and Biedrins, last year's Hope-based initiative contingency, are already on their way out of town.
I guess you've forgotten.
They're sneaky bad that way in Warriorland.
The Warriors have successfully stifled/avoided serious criticism from most corners since the 2007 freak lucky streak and dream Don Nelson interpersonal pissing contest first round playoff matchup, pushing hope and hyping swagger, testosterone, balls, whatever it was they stole the easy games with for NEVER a full season end to end. Injuries, youth, bad attitudes from Anthony Randolph and Monta Ellis, bad play from Andris Biedrins and Brandan Wright, whatever the excuse and the lie. It all worked for the majority of the fairweather fanbase blindly paying for this slop and rubbing their team icons in private.
No more.
Now the only marketable stories are the general dysfunction and the weird problem player halfway house the team has firmly and irrevocably established, once and for all, as its sole defining identity. It's been common league knowledge for a long time, even as the man makes some strides at the league committee level, that Chris Cohan is effectively a complete non-threat in competitive basketball terms. But the latest bull shit means just about nothing beyond coincidence of reports of possible team sale for the team's longterm future. This man was booed on his own floor at an All Star game, after all. TEN YEARS AGO!!!!! (as of the coming A.S. game).
He can take it. He's already recovered from the latest daily email Rowell sent him, "still shitty," and moved on to his tennis game. Or whatever he does besides figuring out how to competently lead a professional basketball team anywhere but his own tax-evading bank account.
Sucks to be us.
So in the midst of Stephen Jackson's (finally) publicized trade demands, the Warriors pull their usual clever deal and lock up the guys whose names you'll be inserting into this year's round of "Why the hell is _____ playing more than [Insert name of favorite under-25 player here]???"
Oh, first, on the "finally" part: like Al Harrington and Mickael Pietrus before him, this was a long time coming. Monta Ellis is absolutely next, maybe Biedrins too even though we all already know he's on the block as a salary dump/major trade value chip. Jackson grabbed his cash, just like Baron, and completely bamboozled a man with no business making longterm basketball decisions, Robert Rowell. No, that doesn't mean Jackson should be our next President, but it does seem about adequate for the Warriors' typical job search.
Remember, it was all cool last season. We were a young team on the rise with our fierce captain at the helm. But reports are slowly trickling in that Jackson wanted out last year. It's nice to have the information on TIME, this go-round, instead of Steinmetz's and others' famous year-after-the-fact leaky acknowledgments of Al Harrington's issues before the great money-laundering moves for Crawford-Claxton. The team made its own bed here, pushing Jackson as a credible leader and playoff maker, not merely playoff hot streak hot dog, and he failed miserably. And knows it.
To quote Bob Fitzgerald, emphasis shifted: "Stephen Jackson CAN'T play any better."
To quote the world: "No shit."
And so as Warriorland awakens to yet another jackass hangover after yet another reckless binge of baseless optimism, the Warriors make their customary moves while the coffee is still brewing and the bowl is still clung to (read it both ways honestly, I dare you). While the cycle pukes $tephen Jack$on green, they ink obvious problem Mikki Moore and potentially get CJ Watson over the barrel for, if nothing else, another season of playing more minutes than everyone but $tephen Jackson and Kelenna Azubuike.
Pop quiz, who played the most minutes for the team last year?
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/teams/stats?team=gsw&sort=mins&avg=none&order=true&season=2&seasonYear=2009&split=0
That's right, it was Kelenna Azubuike, a player the big fish forum trolls from Rowell's dinner parties say is now nothing but another expiring contract/get paid and get out budget rent-a-shitwing. Congratulations, those of you who regurgitated Bob Fitzgerald/Ray Ridder's glowing D-League coverage on Watson and Azubuike. Feeling proud? Like you're a part of their inspirational story? Get over it. They're the next round of Matt Barnes Nellie Ball mediocrity-gone-hyperdrive-PR spin, then just plain gone. Nellie's done this forever, as I've covered in the past, and Rowell is a connoisseur of fine bullshit, etc.:
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/03/anatomy-of-nellie-shitwing-sandwich.html
And now Mikki Moore WILL play big minutes like Austin Croshere was supposed to and he WILL affect RANDOLPH, Biedrins, and Wright.
Get ready, you incredible schmucks. It's happening.
Watson makes the Ellis dump a near-certainty and Stephen Curry will NOT be playing any more point guard than Stephen Jackson just got finished playing. If that. And we all saw the nice 29 win brilliance that produced. But hey, you probably cleaned house in your fantasy league for that one month, right? Right.
A few predictable fan forum sorts were bending over backwards to proclaim these two items non-news and even Adam Lauridsen downplayed the Moore signing and Watson's status. http://blogs.mercurynews.com/warriors/2009/08/31/motion-sickness-moore-watson-and-jackson/
But the real story here is that the team's three major minute guys last year were Azubuike, Jackson, and Watson, with Crawford, and it doesn't look like much will change this year. Nelson has a documented gimmick and now he has his two veteran half-ass bigmen, Turiaf and Moore. Turiaf is a solid reserve big and a quality guy you want leading your team's bench and locker room vibe. But the team's heavy Turiaf hype as Biedrins' minutes were screwed with mercilessly (and perhaps even his incentives for games played) is mere prelude to the latest dump of yesterday's franchise centerpiece.
Turiaf, great as he is, is no excuse for shitting on Andris Biedrins like the team has and will continue to. The onliners who felt out the Milkki Moore reactions a few weeks before he was signed know well enough how tenuous their world is now. They can deal with it themselves when it leads to serious problems with incredibly talented young bigmen.
The fanbase was happy to relish the failures of Ike Diogu and Patrick O'Bryant, as well as Mike Dunleavy (not a bigman, but a NELLIE POWER FORWARD!), but one of these players has already proved that he was NOT the problem, convincingly. Dunleavy away from Nelson and Baron Davis' shitball antics is a quality NBA player. And his contract expires next offseason. Ouch. Murphy is still a stiff but a league-leading rebounder type stiff. Weird stuff. If Brandan Wright or Andris Biedrins or Anthony Randolph go on to greatness elsewhere (either recognize the odds with this team or shut the fuck up, I say: Randolph's no more reason for hope than Webber was. He's LESS- Webber was better)... it won't surprise any of us.
Same with Ellis, who WILL go on to greatness elsewhere. The Bandwagon imbeciles and Team PR Plants have harped on his attitude, harped on his point guard game, and harped on his injury risk at GREAT length. Baron Davis was apparently no such risk until he was too expensive or too Chris Mullin-y. But Ellis is clearly on the outs with management, so he gets no free passes.
It's science. The Warriors snuck it past you again. Buried the real story under the big fat media hype. Wanna bet $tephen Jackson goes nowhere, actually, and really couldn't care less who pays him as long as he gets to chuck and bitch and sit on his ass wile the opposition runs up the score on the other end now that he played a few games of defense on Dirk and got the money locked up? In that case, here's your core roster as the season progresses:
Watson
Azubuike
Jackson
Maggette George
Turiaf Moore
You bank faith on Anthony Randolph and Anthony Morrow and Stephen Curry getting those big time minutes. You go right ahead. But I've seen this all before. Last season, most recently. Ellis, Wright, and Biedrins, last year's Hope-based initiative contingency, are already on their way out of town.
I guess you've forgotten.
They're sneaky bad that way in Warriorland.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Warriors Offseason Update, End of August
The Warriors PR team had it all under control.
Sweet sweet Steph Curry draft-day swipe bull shit (he never wanted to come here, the disappointment on his little over-hyped face was just priceless) fell to summer league suck (oh but they'll say he was magnificent in the shitwing chuck offense Keith Smart ran). Biedrins, Ellis, Jackson, Maggette, pretty much everyone ready to get the fuck out now that they got their money, especially Biedrins probably after Nellie showed that we'll fuck with his minutes and probably a million in incentives every year now. Ellis already had his money taken after Stephen Jackson put him on that motorcycle or whatever happened while they hung out "all last summer."
At any rate, as always, the happy melodies Bob Fitzgerald takes from Ray Ridder and Robert Rowell's greasy shit can and spews all over the Warriors paid-publicity mouthpiece, KNBR, and elsewhere, has of course all come crashing down. Again. As always. And forever.
I'm not sorry. Fuck those assholes.
Sweet sweet Steph Curry draft-day swipe bull shit (he never wanted to come here, the disappointment on his little over-hyped face was just priceless) fell to summer league suck (oh but they'll say he was magnificent in the shitwing chuck offense Keith Smart ran). Biedrins, Ellis, Jackson, Maggette, pretty much everyone ready to get the fuck out now that they got their money, especially Biedrins probably after Nellie showed that we'll fuck with his minutes and probably a million in incentives every year now. Ellis already had his money taken after Stephen Jackson put him on that motorcycle or whatever happened while they hung out "all last summer."
At any rate, as always, the happy melodies Bob Fitzgerald takes from Ray Ridder and Robert Rowell's greasy shit can and spews all over the Warriors paid-publicity mouthpiece, KNBR, and elsewhere, has of course all come crashing down. Again. As always. And forever.
I'm not sorry. Fuck those assholes.
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