Chris Cohan : [LIBELOUS SLANDER]

Warriors Acquiring Chris Kaman & No One Will Talk Shit About Mark Jackson on ESPN

2012-01-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

After almost a calendar year of news cycle PR bullshit-- Remember when they hired the Famous Mark Jackson while he was still calling one of the highest rated playoff seasons the NBA has ever seen? Remember when they were serious players for Dwight Howard? Remember when Lacob, his kid, his executives, and his star players settled out of court on a slew of sexual harassment claims made by former and current employees? Yeah, me neither-- the Warriors might actually be doing something. They've very quietly gotten involved on Chris Kaman but don't seem capable of giving any sort of legitimate value for him as of yet. As usual. And no, Stern will not be accepting Andris Biedrins. Fantastic news, really: David Stern finally has direct control of a team with no secrets or hidden influence in play and it's the worst team in the league. Who saw that coming? No idea why Emeka Okafor is still in a Hornets uniform, incidentally. The Warriors will likely land Kaman in the next two weeks, once a few stories on other teams have reached a fever pitch, just to say "I told you so." Forward Thank You notes to David Stern and the apparently collusive owners in the Hard Liner camp.

The Mark Jackson hire was brilliant. No one will talk shit about the Jesus Freak on National TV because they're all his friends and, let's face it, he may come back to the TV ranks sooner rather than later and they don't want any awkwardness after they spoke honestly about what an incompetent moron this guy is as a coach. Mike Malone, meanwhile, took the fat money Lacob overpaid him and now has FULL strategic control over this shitty Warriors defense. This is what pace kill and Nellie Ball zone desperation look like. The recent small ball offense Jackson argued for has scored cheap points but, of course, the true scope of how bad the Warriors defense is has come shining through in the process. So drop those talking points from your repertoire, too, you all-too-accommodating Warriors PR appendages (looking at you, Adam Lauridsen. Heh.). Ain't no defense to see here and Kwame Brown, Ekpe USuck, et al were never plus defenders to begin with. Enough with the constant franchise talking point props.

Blame your players, Warriors employees. Blame your players.
Big changes. Big talk. Big Suck.

Worse Than Cohan:

2012-01-15T09:38:00.000-08:00

Joe Lacob has no idea what he's doing.
#lohan

Warriors Acquiring Dwight Howard

2012-01-05T22:08:00.000-08:00

Any day now. Holding my breath, as should you.

Top of Google searches, every local media outlet on board with the story line, etc. Can't be wrong.

House of Lohan in tip top shape. Totally forgot about the multiple pending sexual harassment suits, incompetent scouting, coaching, and general managerial staff, the medical mistakes, the losing, the lies, the myths, the terrible David Lee contract, etc., etc., etc.

A Meme is Born?

2011-12-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

All due respect to Nuck Chorris, who was the idea man behind this one back when Lohan "bought" the Warriors from Cohan for $150 million in loaned league money plus $300 million in actual money, split between like 20 co-owners. Remember when it took months on end to scrape together enough $2 million buy-ins to get the deal done at the price fix tag last Fall after the league shut Ellison out because he.... correctly valued the asset at $318 million?

Creepy as fuck. Credit to user "nasty eggrolls" on http://warriorsworld.net/

Lohan

2011-12-02T07:59:00.000-08:00

Joe Lacob is as good at making money off of losing basketball and PR gimmicks as Chris Cohan was.
Congratulations, suckers.

Warriors Draft Klay Thompson, Meant to Draft His Father (Developed Veteran Bigman)

2011-06-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

Oops. Oh well, not the first time this has happened.

Another kid of a NBA broadcaster former player, huh? After getting Mark Jackson in the midst of the Finals, huh? Sure, big changes in Ray Ridder/Dan Martinez/Kyle Spencer's bullshit shop. Continuing the toothless headline-grabbing, the Warriors then made loud (pre-planned) noise about spending on a pick to get a RAW bigman.... but never hired a proven bigman coach.

So, um... why would an intelligent fan suddenly trust the same old monkeys who thought Ekpe Udoh was a difference maker only to be looking to ditch him already, and who wanted ROB KURZ!, MIKKI MOORE!, etc. (Travis Schlenk), and who have not made a single hire suggesting they're qualified to develop a big man in the NBA? Wasn't that why they grossly overspent- on Joe Lacob/Larry Riley's watch- on shittyshittyshitty David Lee?

The Warriors overpaid by 33% (minimum) for YET ANOTHER deferment of responsibility developing players after efforts to get up high enough on Jonas Valanciunas, the safest no-accountability, no money spent on a contract pick in the draft, failed miserably. But get lots of pretty talkers and extra deeply-flawed 1/2 players. No defense.

Jerry West apparently did not attend draft day. Nor did Mike Malone. But Bob Myers, Jeremy Tyler's agent and the guy who failed to hype his client enough to get a single NBA team to buy the bullshit, was ready to spend that cash! Remember when Cohan (Rowell) allowed Chris Mullin to give Kosta Perovic a big fat unearned contract? Same basic idea, same results likely. Incidentally, Perovic was supposedly finally playing OK in Europe recently. Doubt it, but supposedly all the same. At any rate, if you couldn't predict another ham-handed "See?! We're NOT COHAN!!!" PR move like buying extra picks in the worst draft of the decade from this sack of shit corporate ownership clusterfuck, you're not cut out for this league. Their desperate hunt for approval, which remains impotent when it comes to actual TALENT acquisition, marches on.

Travis Schlenk certainly did attend the draft. Despite this guy and Larry Harris, also still with the team, overseeing PERSONALLY the complete disaster of the D League hype train in Warriorland since before Nellie's return (Schlenk, not Harris), the wise Lacob & co. clusterfuck just promoted this freak. He was front and center at the head table with the personal injury firm Lacob, Lacob, Myers, and Riley... who has not been fired despite being part of the previous regime's shitstorm, too. Keep evaluating, Lacob & co. Keep evaluating. Drafted an old player who talks pretty yet again for the patchwork mediocre team model that's made you so much cash from the league's softest fan market to this point, why screw up a good thing?

Rowell was not fired- he found his next job per the plan laid out last May and gets a nice departure package. Absolutely no negative relationship between pals Lacob and Rowell (and Cohan). And so endeth the lesson. No sale.

Kirk Lacob won't discuss advanced stats that say Biedrins is the team's most important defensive presence historically but will quote Monta's +/- at length while disparaging Ellis but not having enough hair on his balls to just move him and start the supposedly guaranteed beautiful future Curry/Thompson assures, huh?

Uh huh.

Oh PS, the guy actually in charge of all decisions on medical management for Cohan and the last 20 years of Warriors failures, Marc Grabow.... was still in the exact same position with the team until after the season ended. He quietly left town with his team of monkeys once his book was published. Hire this dynamic speaker for your shitty jock event! http://www.on-courtathletics.com/appearances.php

Mike Dunleavy in 3 years at Duke: 47.5% FG, 37% 3PT.
Klay Thompson in 3 years at Washington State: 42.3% FG, 39% 3PT

Enjoy the lockout.

A Message to Joe Lacob & co.

2011-06-12T16:58:00.001-07:00

PS, You guys are Donny.

Congratulations, Mully

2011-04-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

All Time Great, deservedly in the Hall of Fame. Deserves the unconditional respect and admiration of all true Warriors fans everywhere. Hall of Fame is the serious shit. Legit, elite, historical relevance.
Will be a long while before Oakland sees another on his level.

A long while.

Post Mortem: Warriors Ownership Group Unstable, About to Implode.

2011-02-26T21:44:00.000-08:00

Joe Lacob & co. were all talk.

The behemoth of inexperienced and generally idiotic co-owners (The Corporation) couldn't make a deal at the trade deadline and are apparently fighting amongst themselves as they await the Hard Cap (or bust). As my go-to source for excellent insider Warriors bits, Deep Throat, put it (s/he chose the name without any help from me, sorry),

"new ownership group NOT on same page. Paralysis until new CBA. Fight for control after that."

Goddammit. Worse than Cohan.

More thoughts from Deep Throat:
"long-term plan of the team completely dependent on there being a hard cap in the new CBA."

This was clear to all who paid attention. NO ONE falls over themselves to overbid the way Joe Lacob and Peter Guber did unless they're all in on something. Peter Guber's creep show interview with Adrien Wojnarowski is a handy audio-visual reminder that HE's all in on "Entertainment" and squeezing an easy "top 5" fan market. First city he names: San Jose. Fuck L.A. douche bags. Seriously.
The dude is just weird:

Meanwhile, Joe Lacob's all in was predicated on that Hard Cap business Deep Throat refers to. This is the clear, undeniable aim of the owners in the CBA negotiations and this is precisely why there will be a very long, very tempestuous lockout heading into the 2011-12 season. And according to Deep Throat,

"Is there's not one, we're going to see Cohan-like cash grabbing." (sic)
I told Deep Throat we're already seeing it.

Besides any number of private financial savings the roster doesn't indicate directly (though the coaching staff status quo certainly doesn't hurt Lacob's pocket book), the team cut Rodney Carney to save $800k earlier this year. Remember, they could have signed Jeff Adrien right then and there despite outright lies this weekend about the Troy Murphy-for-Brandan Wright and Dan Gadzuric trade opening up a roster spot for the D League All Star. Literally. He was a D League All Star. And I like him plenty.

At any rate, it was no secret Lacob and his pals were small potatoes conservative fuckwads itching to stick it to the players, pander to the fans (Jeremy Lin, Nate Robinson, etc.), and run a rigged game with the Stern Hard Cap crew. That's why their employees are diligently arguing the merits of a hard cap every chance they get. That's why Stern seems to have frozen Larry Ellison out of the Warriors ownership and then made the league buy the Hornets instead of sell to Ellison. And this may influence the Pistons and Kings situations next.

Legit money and/or brains ownership doesn't need the hard cap and doesn't need the idiotic owners to be protected from their own incompetence and desperation. Legit money/brains owners scare the shit out of the mid-market shell gamers. PS, the Bay Area IS a mid market if you don't step up and get the players and bigtime NBA folks to give a shit about its Farmers' Markets, great schools, temperate climate, and suburban enclaves. Ellison was ready to spend and win. Only collusion kept him out. The predictable, panicked rush by online plants and accessible interview targets "in the business" to smear him and mock his supposed failure to walk some arbitrary bid schedule line like it was the U.S. Constitution said it all. They rigged it and are ecstatic it worked.

The "sale" was a rigged up mess and Joe Lacob is a bigger bust than the last Stern-pimped "record" team purchaser, Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver. Incidentally, that sale was also facilitated by.... Sal Galatioto. To my knowledge, that sale did not include $150 million in league loans to get it done and did not require multiple small percentage ownership stakes to raise the cash for the "sale" over MONTHS of time after the supposed bid win back in July. But Lacob is in position to completely out-Sarver Sarver and he'll gab ANY name he can in a desperate attempt to lend any sort of credibility to his worthless, irrelevant name and business. Steve Kerr is a fucking trainwreck as an executive but they'll hire him because they're cynical, uncreative, lying money launderers.

On the recent antics of our terrible mess of an ownership collective.

They've moved on to the usual excuses their favorite son, Robert Rowell, has pushed for years: Blame Mullin (no picks to trade!), Blame Riley (he was asleep at the wheel!), Blame Nellie (they're still in a post-Nellie funk!). In other words, blame all the set up, public, sacrificial lambs with actual NBA connections and knowhow (albeit flawed, questionable, inconsistent, or outright incompetent, what have you), but NEVER let that public spotlight fall on the suits calling the shots behind closed doors and off camera.

Joe Lacob talked tough and bragged about his championship experience in Boston and his keen eye for talent. He tried to sell us his son, Kirk, as the only executive hire, Jeremy Lin, his son Kirk's friend from high school, as the major backcourt addition, and David Lee, the fat stat peripheral NBA name accidental All Star, as a "great" player, and all the rest. Now they'll refuse to buy out Troy Murphy and they'll try to tell us he's a major difference maker. Meanwhile, they brought back good and decent (but not team saving) Jeff Adrien when they never should have let him go in the first place (they had him to start the season and cut him for the shitty Ekpe Foyle show). And they may sign some more D League talent yet. Robert Rowell croney and team player personnel director Travis Schlenk is not going anywhere any time soon. Neither, of course, is that moron Kirk Lacob.

Sidenote: Ekpe Udoh fucking sucks. Worst rebounder among all rookies, Adonal Foyle numbers in general thus far, and he's a stone-handed idiot taboot. But I digress. Back to The Corporation of Lacob & co. and their epic Trade Deadline failure-by-design.

They made hamhanded attempts to say they were in on major deals when they were actually running Fire Sale cash dump scenarios by Milwaukee for Michael Redd's expiring contract (Biedrins and Lee), by Phoenix for Vince Carter, and by Utah for Andrei Kirilenko. They took a run at Antawn Jamison as a last resort but, of course, couldn't close the deal that would have sent Troy Murphy there for a year of Jamison after this season. That would have actually helped, if it was ever legit (Warriors undoubtedly tried the famous Rowell Hardball! tactics to extract a pick or whatever else they felt entitled to). They were NEVER close on Kendrick Perkins despite having put the majority of their time and effort into getting him.... except never putting any legitimate offers together. And their early work on Nick Collison and Jeff Green went nowhere fast.

Waste too many teams' time being a fickle, prissy, miserly interlocutor and you simply won't get your calls returned. The Warriors figure to have very quiet phone lines for a very long time after this trade deadline failure. Oh, almost forgot the best part: They almost, really and truly, gave the fans a Nate Robinson PR campaign for the final 25 games. According to Deep Throat, the entire objective of that acquisition:

"Fan Relations Purpose."

Whoop dee fuckin doo.
The PR team is trying its best (fuck you, Flunkster Dude Ray Ridder & co.) to subdue dissent but the fans are booing this shitcan team of their own accord at Oracle now. Not sure who the PR hypesters and social media marketing dweebs think they're fooling these days. Old Lacob/Cohan pal Garry fucking St. Jean is a public persona on the team's payroll for chrissakes. May as well pack it in, astroturfers. The Season Ticket season will be a rough one and you'll have to refund everyone due to the lockout, anyway.

Lacob was calling personnel shots back in July and he had input via Rowell LONG before that. But he's letting Rowell try to throw anyone BUT Rowell or this shitty, disjointed, and fighting ownership group under the bus of their own incompetence. Absolutely nothing has changed.

The team is a lie and a gimmick.

Joe Lacob's very good friend is Chris Cohan. He's also very close with Robert Rowell and Bob Fitzgerald, and they're keeping ALL of their marketing and PR folks on. So expect no changes. It was a non-sale. Shuffling of the deck chairs because the Cohan brand was such utter shit. But folks are wising up to the Lacob knockoff of the Cohan brand much sooner than that beady eyed little fucker anticipated. This includes some of his minority investors, who already want out.

Frankly, the idiots who bought in deserve this, just like Fred Harman and co. deserved their strife after they greedily bought in with Cohan, THROUGH Rowell, all those years ago. Fred Harman, I might remind you, is an owner with Lacob after having been an owner with Cohan. So finally we can say, with confidence,

Lacob & co.: Worse than Cohan.

Wake me after the lockout.

-CC

Everything's Fine.

2011-02-24T14:15:00.001-08:00

Think I'll Wait A Little Longer...

2011-02-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

February 24th is right around the corner.
Amazing things are already happening. I'm sure.

New Year's Resolution

2010-12-29T12:45:00.000-08:00

Getting an early start on this...

So the "new" Warriors ownership is 30 games into its first season of games after making clear, decisive, and loudly touted moves over the Summer. Those moves include the Ekpe Udoh drafting, the Jeremy Lin signing, the David Lee signing, the Rodney Carney signing, and the Dorell Wright signing, and the very strangley timed but public- and disruptive-as-possible Don Nelson canning. Don't bother arguing with any of that, it was all Lacob and his close friends, Robert Rowell/Chris Cohan. Peter Goober has no input, thank god, and no basketball knowledge of any sort while he sits in the Los Angeles home for the VAST majority of Warriors home games.

They've already burned through a full season's worth of typical Robert Rowell/Ray Ridder/Dan Martinez excuses (We don't own the team yet! We just got a new coach! What a tough schedule! Damn these injuries! Refs hate us!) and have had Bob Fitzgerald making most of them with some help from the usual team-sponsored "media" sources and fan forum moderators. So that's all out there, it's all the usual Cohan era bullshit, and of course a 3 game win streak against the Kings, the dying Blazers, and the Iggy-less, road-terrible, young and questionably designed 76ers after their road back to back has turned into today's Playoffs! mantra. On the Sixers apologism here: no one is bragging about beating the Warriors or Sixers this year. No one. For a reason. But they start younger and run younger on the bench than the sort of ancient Warriors. And they have a TRUE new coaching hire to work on while evaluating established All Star pieces who either aren't All Stars any longer or need a new situation. Etc. Not a great rebuild thus far in my opinion. But a victory over a rebuilding team is no major victory and the league knows this.

So here we stand: 12-18 with a 5 game road spell coming up that should result in a minimum of two wins if the team is worth even half a shit, more than that if it's as matchup and pace savvy as Nellie Ball fanatics calling for the fast break to cure all ills claim it might be after we scored a few FB and hot 3 point chucking points vs. terrible, terrible defense in Sacramento and vs. the Sixers. We shall see. Kick off vs. a VERY beatable, mismanaged Atlanta team today, then a full day off before Stephen Curry's home game in Charlotte. Charlotte sucks as bad as the Warriors, if not worse. NO excuses for losing that game. None. Miami is a Loss. Orlando should be a loss but the Warriors can score in bunches and the Magic play no defense. That one might be a crazy game that leads to FAR more pro-Warriors, anti-Magic noise than it reasonably should. But Otis Smith vs. Joe Lacob/Chris Cohan is always a good one. Then the Warriors wrap with a must-win vs. the dying New Orleans Hornets, who start Marco Belinelli and not Stephen Curry and have the original soft fantasy stat irrelevant PF, David West. He taught David Lee everything neither one of them knows.

All this said, the suckers and paid team apologists never rest and never admit anything any way so it's just the intelligent who can't stop hoping for a Real Change or a Real Move talking amongst themselves while the Lacob Family Plaything begins its march toward Yorkish 49erism. Their most recent attempt to diffuse the smarter fans was to joke about crusading fan media types like me. Uh huh. Their bitter anger is an easy mark. I was top tweet for a week following my Mark Price piece after a planted Warriors PR connection joked about me blogging from my mom's basement. They're very original. I was surprised to see that sort of give-in by the team's PR wings, even at a low low season point pre-Big Win Streak, but it's harmless free publicity for me and it highlights just how heavily invested in and preoccupied with the fan media game the Warriors are. You have to feel sorry for those folks. They probably don't even leave the house/office these days.

To that end, and because I have a particularly demanding work life staring me in the face in the coming weeks, I thought now might be a good time to let the hypesters, PR interns, and towel boys play amongst themselves for the trial period with their much-ballyhooed "healthy" team firing on all cylinders. Vote Dorell Wright for Western Conference All Stars!

Maybe they'll even get a little rest and relaxation in before the Big Trade Deadline at which point we become Complete Contenders overnight with the fancy Gadzuric/Radmanovic expiring deals-for-Superstar trade we're told to expect ("Big Splash").

I'm taking a 20 game vacation from the Warriors while they show us all that they're a legit playoff team like Joe Lacob said when he went on that fabled Giants postgame show back in July and promised us big things from Day One that have not happened, were never going to happen this season, and may never happen. But here's to hoping something might actually change in Warriorland for once.

See you on February 9th.

Signed,
CC

Warriors Ditch li'l Stephen Silas: 3 Game Win Streak!

2010-12-28T09:53:00.000-08:00

Stephen Silas went to coach in Charlotte with his daddy. He gets to hang out with his buddy Stephen Jackson again, too. Warriors had a very friendly three game stretch of easy wins vs. Sacramento and Philadelphia, sandwiched around a ridiculous atrocity of a referee display vs. Portland without Brandon Roy. 3 in a row! Break up the Warriors!

Monta Ellis: phenomenal play. Player of the Week. Bye bye li'l Stephen Silas! Have fun with your computer!

Makes perfect sense.

Mark Price still bullshit, Jeremy Lin to the D League about 6 months too late (complete waste of a roster spot), Ekpe Foyle not good.

Jrue Holiday was the correct draft pick last season, like I said.
SO much better than Curry will ever be,

New (to me) Warriors Blog to Track: Warriors and Whatever

2010-12-18T16:15:00.000-08:00

Just found this one.
Excellent name. Effective insouciant tone. Cool stat tracking table concept. Solid Warriors link roster. Even though I'm not one of them. Check it out:

http://www.warriorsandwhatever.com/

Reality Check.

2010-12-17T12:15:00.000-08:00

Monta Ellis is absolutely available.
And he's not going at great rates....

3 years of Ellis for $33 million sound good?
Warriors are ACTIVELY presenting that as a "Plan B" to teams who may be dropping out of the Carmelo Anthony running. Remember, the "top" offer on the table for 3 more years of Carmelo is New Jersey's offer of Favors, Troy Murphy's corpse, and an assortment of number one picks.

If you know Robert Rowell, you know exactly what they're initially demanding for the Ellis contract dump.
And that's why you know they won't close on anything until they drop that price considerably or take back bad deals they've thus far refused when they've attempt to move Ellis with Biedrins. But reports that Ellis will fetch more than an expiring contract and change in the pre-Lockout market while the Knicks might still land Carmelo for FAR less than the New Jersey offer do not present a clear picture of the complexity of this particular trade season. And that's besides the position-parallel Chris Paul and Chauncey Billups availablity components.

One mid-level executive might have an ideal version of reality she or he is working from but she or he is a mid-level executive for a bad NBA team for a reason. The reality is, Ellis is a low-dollar trade option for most teams. Teams are beginning to put more competitive offers together for Gilbert Arenas than they have for Ellis to this point.

UPDATE: Magic are in serious talks about Gilbert Arenas per Woj and pretty much anyone you asked this week. Woj confirms various blog reports on the matter, in case you're anti-blogger. Monta Ellis will not be joining the Magic, one can reasonably assume, if Gilbert Arenas can be had at cheaper rates. But Gortat and Carter for Arenas, possibly with a first round pick, would be more than the Warriors will get from Orlando for Ellis. Kooky times, indeed. Arenas pairs with Jameer Nelson a little better than anyone on the Warriors, so this all makes fairly simple sense if it goes down at all.

More on the Biedrins dump that's likely to go down before February 24th: For the sake of appearances, the Warriors can't firesale on Biedrins as they had intended to before David Aldridge got word of the Kenyon Martin-for-Biedrins dump over the summer. But Biedrins can be had if you pay too much, for sure. This season sounds like the season they convince themselves they've turned Biedrins into a "must-go" problem like Richardson, Harrington, Crawford, Jackson, and Maggette before him.

The Warriors have developed a freakish personnel style NO ONE is emulating: They work from panic mode on initial trade discussion but then subvert their own feelers and semi-offers around the league. After exchanging a few calls on a possible deal, they counteract the established perception that they're ready to drop salary and introduce hardline, PR-friendly (does the deal risk public perception as a straight up penny pincher?) deal-breaker stop points. But they've dumped, dumped, and dumped salary every season under Rowell to this point. Teams tend to get annoyed by the Warriors and stop taking calls before they give them real value in trade but we've got every reason to expect them to successfully execute a contract dump on quality non-star players they no longer like.

They're completely paranoid and on bunker lockdown at Warriors HQ right now. Yes, still. But they're trying to keep up appearances now that they've completely failed to keep it together.

Ekpe Udoh Records First NBA Rebound in Third NBA Game!!!!!

2010-12-14T22:53:00.000-08:00

He looked like complete garbage. 8 minutes in the league now. 1 rebound (off a free throw), 1 TO, 2 PF, 1 AST.

Puts him at 36th among all rookies, right between point guards Armon Johnson and Eric Bledsoe, in REB48 and third worst, at 12.0 PF48, among all rookies, right after Hassan Whiteside and some scrub named Ndiaye for Washington. He looked very slow, very dumb, and VERY rooted to the floor.

Hey.... it's only 8 minutes!

Mark Price: Detrimental to Team Shooting?

2010-12-14T14:20:00.000-08:00

Mark Price arrived in Golden State as a big name former player guaranteed to correct Stephen Curry's point guard game. Uh huh. Moving on.

He was also supposed to be a possible future head coaching candidate and he was definitely supposed to work on team shooting. He's the shooting coach. Sidney Moncrief once held this position for the Warriors. Sidney Moncrief once completely kicked ass in that position. Look into it. As recently as 2008, no? Sid Moncrief was also a head coach candidate with ALL the makings. But he's in China so we'll just have to wait and see what Joe Lacob's next big secret plan to be awesome is. If it's Moncrief returning to coach-- SOON-- I'll be impressed.

But back to Mark Price. He was actually, technically, officially hired to teach shooting.

The team's shooting sucks ass. All year.
Currently 20th in the league in FG%. 4th in 3PT% though! 26th in FT%.
Incidentally, the team ranks 26th in the league for points per shot, too. Part of that is FT shooting but LOTS of it is terrible shot selection and weak work inside the 3 point arc. The old Warriors mantra was that a 3 pointer is worth more and, hey, you make 3 pointers and you may bump up your PPS, right? Apparently not. The fundamental stuff is THAT terrible on Mark Price's watch.

To review, the Warriors ranked 8th in PPS, 5th in FT%, 4th in 3PT%, and 8th in FG% last season. They still lost a shit ton of games but MY GOD.... that's an unprecedented shooting dropoff, even for a Mark Price coached team. The number that really stands out here is Free Throw shooting. The Warriors have fallen from .782 on FT last year to a terrible .722 this year. The big team talk point when the Warriors hired Price was that he'd help guys like Biedrins and, presumably, Ellis take the next step and become, respectively, a non-debilitating FT risk late in games and a top-flight penetration threat who makes teams pay whether they let him score once he's past them or not. But none of that seems to be happening. Biedrins was inching ever-closer to 60% on FT under Sid Moncrief. Last year was a wash but the team certainly made hay on his FT woes (16% on a handful of attempts in an injury-plagued season). Don Nelson mocked him openly and Robert Rowell's PR team missed no opportunity to start a Biedrins bashing thread in the various "fan" forums they frequent on a daily basis. And so the Price talk point-- gotta have a talk point in Oakland at all times!-- was whipped out and the world rejoiced. So far, Biedrins is at 25%, Ellis is down to 70% from 75% last year (83% the year before that) and on an ironic, illuminating side note, Ellis is shooting 3 pointers much better after putting that work in on his own time starting LAST offseason, before Mark Price ever showed up.

This isn't the first NBA team Mark Price has screwed up like this.

Price was the shooting coach for the Memphis Grizzlies during the 2007-08 season.
In 2006-07, the Grizzlies shot .465 overall, .367 3PT, and .761 FT.
In 2007-08, Price helped them to .454 overall, .349 3PT, and .723 FT, and was let go after the season.

Next, Price worked for the Atlanta Hawks for two seasons.
In 2007-08, the Hawks shot .454 overall, .356 3PT, and .772 FT.
In 2008-09, Price helped them to .458 overall, .366 3PT, and .737 FT. This incredible success was rewarded with his second tour of duty for the Hawks.
In 2009-10, Price helped the team shoot .468 overall, .360 3PT, and .750 FT. The Hawks said "goodbye" after that. At first glance, the floor shooting looks improved.

But they'd already shown improvement from 2006-07 by upping their team shooting from .444 to .454. Their primary shot takers were Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Josh Childress, and Marvin Williams. Childress went from .504 that season to .571 the following year, then he left for Greece the year Price arrived. The team drafted Al Horford and signed Flip Murray, a decent shooter. This might explain some of the minor FG% rise in Price's first eyar but we'll give Price full credit for the .010 rise in his final year in Atlanta. But they're up to #5 in the league on FG% this season and, really, you have to acknowledge Al Horford's increased role in the offense after he already improved team shooting by his mere presence as a reliable inside threat two years running before now. And the team of course had Joe Johnson bucking past trends in his contract year while Jamal Crawford stayed a bit more focused and selective while he fished for his own extension. Those extenuating contract circumstances surrounding two notorious chuckers ABSOLUTELY MATTER in evaluating the Hawk's shooting success last year. Tellingly, both have fallen off considerably this season while the rest of the team excels with Price's confining regiments and weird Josh Smith counseling sessions out the door. The team has improved overall yet again.

In 2010-11, the Hawks are shooting .472 overall, .366 3PT, and .780 FT.

As Josh Johnson enjoys his new contract, several players have made noticeable improvements on parts of their shooting games. Josh Smith is shooting FT at 70% after shooting 62% from the charity stripe last year. Al Horford has improved both his FG% and his FT%. Mike Bibby is on fire, shooting FG at .472 after a down .416 year with Price around. Much of this has to be considered incidental for now. The overall numbers seem fairly stable, too, so perhaps Price made some minor improvements and they stuck for this year even if last year's results didn't show the fruits of Price's teaching labors. Who knows? But so far, he's got three NBA teams he's left in worse shape shooting than he got them in.

This is the body of work the Warriors had before them when they brough him in as a "shooting" coach. That, and a VERY brief (unsuccessful) stint with an Australian basketball team that fired him midseason and replaced him with a veteran player on the team in a player-coach role. The team's fortunes instantly improved...

Price has a spicy coaching history from that Down Under experience and recent days. He had nothing to do with Rajon Rondo's PLAY but he was brought in by Boston to work on Rondo's ATTITUDE. Price is sort of an authoritarian's hit man. I'll spoil the punch line a bit and say this: he's a Culture Coach.

Nothing wrong with asserting a straight and narrow team philosophy, I suppose, but it can lead to problems with established players (in any professional setting) when team results in the win column are less-than-ideal:

South Dragons have swung a wrecking ball through their fledgling NBL franchise, sacking US basketball legend Mark Price as head coach, replacing him with Shane Heal.

Price, the highest profile basketball identity ever to become involved with the NBL, was hired in a blaze of glory earlier this year after a stellar playing career in the NBA.

But with the Dragons losing their first five matches, the club sent the four-time NBA All-Star packing and elevated Heal to player-coach.

Heal continued the blood-letting soon after his appointment.
His first job was sacking import Todd Fuller, a former NBA player who had been posting reasonable numbers for the struggling Dragons.

...

When he came in, everyone respected what Mark Price had done as a player, and he'll leave with that same respect of what he did as a player...
Mark was a nice enough guy, very introverted.

"He wasn't big on a whole lot of discussion."

Dragons owner Mark Cowan admitted Price's fate had been sealed last week, and the American had been asked for his resignation last Thursday but refused to provide it.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/Sport/Dragons-axe-Price-as-NBL-head-coach/2006/10/23/1161455658915.html

Price has not found any measure of success as a skills or personnel coach in the NBA as of yet. But he HAS been in the Lifestyle business for a while now. He's credited as the philosophical mastermind of the "On Court Player Development" program. From their website:

On Court Player Development® is a systemic approach to addressing the problems that are challenging grassroots basketball by restoring the original intention of sports participation – character building & life lessons and the fundamentals of the game in communities across the country. On Court gives skill new meaning by providing standardized programming systems that improve the way the game is taught, played and organized throughout the world.

http://www.oncourtonline.com/about-us/about-on-court-player-development-leaders-in-resources-for-youth-basketball

I'm trying to get past the program's apparent slogan ("Family. Education. Basketball.") and the "character building and life lessons" prominence in the program's self-description to focus on the "basketball fundamentals" part. But after watching a full quarter season of Mark Price's influence up close and personal and comparing what's about to be FOUR FULL YEARS of FT damage from this guy (never mind he couldn't even cut it in Australian League basketball?!), I don't buy it for a second.

I see TREMENDOUS regression and outright suck from Stephen Curry as a point guard, shot selector, and leader. Monta Ellis is hit and miss, as well. Jeremy Lin is atrocious. Acie Law is just running shitball since his arrival. Mark Price was a good NBA point guard. He does not seem capable of making any current NBA players good NBA point guards.

I see terrible team shooting overall and the results at the free throw line speak for themselves. This is not solely about the Warriors' strange desire to hire worse shooters but take more jumpshots (so it seems in any given game, at least). Sure, swapping out Anthony Morrow's for Charlie Bell's shooting will lead to major problems, but this incredible dropoff is systemic, not individual. In fairness, Dorell Wright is a fucking train wreck when not streaking some 3 pointers in in a loose game. He's killing us overall at under .400 from the field. Vladimir Radmanovic, Louis Amundson, Charlie Bell, and Jeremy Lin are all also under .400 from the floor. AcieLaw is shooting .167 so far for the team. But he was already terrible from the floor. On the other hand, blame the team's scouting division all you like if you so choose to defend Price on all of this. I don't disagree with such criticism. They've signed a bunch of shitty players and sent some more useful skillsets packing for no good reason. But there are other warning signs that Mark Price, and those who employ him to counsel or marginalize young "attitude problem" players, are setting this team back considerably.

There has been a recent series of strange "team building" twitter campaigns from player social media outlets on movie nights and such. One of these included contrived, COORDINATED (multiple players all at once) mention of a player about to be cut, Jeff Adrien, being out on a special team dinner last weekend with Stephen Curry and some Super Great Guy Vets (maybe even Hyper Christian Jeremy Lin? He's usually in on these outings). The continual "Happy Team" and "Close Team" efforts of the PR and a select few players lending their social media outlets to the team culture cause are disturbing signs of a team that has completely lost sight of professional BASKETBALL priorities.

Mark Price may wish everyone was a tea totalling Republican Evangelical like him (I have to assume), but perhaps an actual improvement to the team's ON COURT play would be a better sign of his relevance to NBA play in the future. The guy has been hired and fired from about a job a year over the last 5-6 years it seems. Players don't like him. At all. Or so the evidence available suggests. And the results of his "coaching" are terrible. Over time. Every time. And still the primary Warriors industry seems to be soft feel good press releases and these kooky photo ops and social media campaigns. Well, Rowell and co. have tried the Great Time Out off court Super Fan string-along nice stories for years now. They don't do much for the win column. And Mark Price is already ruffling feathers while some "select" Great Guy Vets allow themselves to be planted as Keith Smart critics in recent practice reports (Practice?!). Let's not play hide-the-ball here, Warriors. We all KNOW you went cheap as hell and "hired" the shittiest head coach on the market. Keith Smart wasn't even on the market. NO ONE else was going to hire him as a head coach. No one else (in the NBA) ever will. But you're coaching Lifestyle and strange "family" ideology behind closed doors while roling out a Sunk Season with LOTS of unanswered questions like this? Really?

Why not drop the forced Happy Family stuff and make some meaningful player personnel and coaching moves now?

Ekpe Udoh: Two NBA Games, ZERO NBA Rebounds

2010-12-13T21:41:00.000-08:00

ORL/GSW Trade Talk Update

2010-12-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

Got to assume every team in the league is working the phones like crazy this week as the big Wednesday trade season opening approaches.

Warriors have other Ellis proposals out around the league, most with Brandan Wright attached as a "freebie." On the probably-going-nowhere Magic deal, Warriors are not interested in Chris Duhon and are floating moving Dan Gadzuric for Gortat as Plan B today if they can't shed Biedrins' salary in the deal. Seems like this is a real no-brainer for the Magic, though, so hard to believe it wouldn't be done already as Duhon was the only reason the earlier deal couldn't be done before December 15th.

Warriors at least being ambitious in their attempts to unload BOTH of their large longterm commitments not approved by Joe Lacob.

We already knew, dating back to the last two seasons, that Monta Ellis was up for grabs and that he has wanted out at various points under Don Nelson and Robert Rowell. Likewise, no one is surprised to hear that Joe Lacob is not an Andris Biedrins fan. Biedrins is definitely "available" but it sounds like no one really wants him at the cost the Warriors are demanding.

Juicy Freaking Rumor: Ellis AND Biedrins Out, Vince Carter's Corpse and Marcin Gortat In?

2010-12-12T17:46:00.000-08:00

Caveat Lector- big time early rumor week noise here.
This is a known Warriors-end proposal:

Monta Ellis and change for Vince Carter.

UPDATE: Biedrins apparently not really on the Magic's radar here, which makes pretty good sense. That's a hell of a lot to pay a backup C and he can't play the 4. But this is going to be a busy trade season so who knows what comes next if other teams like Biedrins (like Denver)?

The Warriors' probable proposal at this time also includes Andris Biedrins and their primary return there would be Marcin Gortat. Additional moving parts may include Chris Duhon, who can be traded in multi-player deals as of Wednesday, Brandan Wright's expiring contract, and the largely irrelevant rights to Fran Vazquez. I'm not sure how that part works. Do those rights ever expire? But most have said he won't play for the Warriors or anyone else off the Eastern seaboard besides the Lakers. Who obviously aren't calling Otis Smith about him. But the Warriors have been enamored of Vazquez since they failed to move Mickael Pietrus in trade and even earlier than that, apparently. Early rumors that the Warriors want big-upside but super raw rookie bigman Daniel Orton may be true but sounds like he's not being made available in return for such a hefty contract acceptance, nor will draft picks change hands.

Warriors tend to overload wish list trade rumors and usually fail to close on those rumored deals but they're coming off of recent success moving some spare parts and young names for exclusive negotiating rights to sign their primary target, David Lee, and they certainly have proven that they can close on deals that shed major salary, as evidenced by the Jason Richardson, Stephen Jackson, Al Harrington, Jamal Crawford, and Corey Maggette dumps since their 2007 playoff appearance.

Reminder, for the easily excited:
My "major" breaks have been Kosta Perovic getting bought out and sent back to Europe; Acie Law getting signed (and the proper hypothesis shared by everyone else, based upon years of Robert Rowell history lessons, that Jeff Adrien and his unguaranteed contract was the cut); and Kirk Lacob being the "new" ownership's sole executive hire and becoming the youngest Director of Basketball Operations in league history. I didn't believe Corey Maggette was being traded until Dan Gadzuric and Charlie Bell were really and truly crapping on the Oracle Arena floor.

Ekpe Udoh Fails To Record a Rebound in NBA Debut.

2010-12-11T18:00:00.000-08:00

......

Salvation! Acie Law and Epek Ohno! Bye Bye Jeff Adrien. Oh, and Rookie/Sophomore POINT Guard Stats Update

2010-12-09T12:29:00.000-08:00

Last night the Warriors solidified their identity as a rudderless hot mess with no prayer against good teams in the NBA and probably little chance against mediocre teams, as well. We know they're ass on the road for sure. TANK! strategies already being workshopped in the War Room fan forums, in which myriad CSN, KNBR, Bay Area News Group, and Warriors team employees assault intelligent fans with Pollyanna hypesterisms and weird role playing games.

Apparently, one of them has 7 final exams he or she is in the midst of while live-chatting every single Warriors game starting during pre-game this week. Another magically showed up to bump Ekpe Udoh threads with some lovely positive sentiment and high hopes. Another started as a medical information insider but now just reprimands anyone who Doesn't Believe with charages of moronism and bold promises that this finally healthy team is about to take the Western Conference by storm.

Meanwhile, the team is playing from the same season script it always has under Robert Rowell & co. - Drop expectations to the basement, get some of the competition to ignore you, steal a few wins here and there if you can and pray the softening schedule portion results in ANYTHING marketable. The PR tactics are the same as ever, so more than a quarter through the season, it's time to really be honest about the administrative leadership of this team. We know the Hypesters and Team/Media Employees have a vested interest in weekly and daily talk points through which to string along any fans still considering buying merchandize or tickets. Lin jereseys still selling like HOTCAKES and are one of three available from a number of custom jersey vendors along with those of Ellis and Curry, incidentally. So let's talk talk points and what they're covering up as the Non Sale takes full shape in the collective casual fan consciousness...

Rasheed Malek of CSN and warriorsworld.net ran with the TEAM's talk point about Robert Rowell being "neutered" and also ran a contrived Fitz hit piece that has nothing to do with Fitz's firm, lucrative, not-going-anywhere contract with the Warriors and KNBR. Lacob and KNBR and, hell, CSN, don't eat money. They don't. They're boring conservative hacks. Come on, they feature GARRY ST. FUCKING JEAN as a BASKETBALL ANALYST for all Warriors games?! Do you folks have any clue who that jackass is?!

This entire partnership between the Warriors and local media outlets bargain shops, gripes about costs, and sits on their fucking hands while trying to cram lollipops and daisies up your ass. And the fact that they went to SO much trouble to tell us that Robert Rowell was "neutered" (what about his big time hire and grooming project, Travis Schlenk?) without once holding anyone accountable for all that suck we've witnessed over the years says about all you ever needed to hear about how Joe Lacob intends to do business. He's worse than Cohan by all indications thus far. Cheaper, snarkier, smarmier, and dumber. And he hangs out with Lakers fans. Who, oh by the way..... now own the Warriors.

Karl Rove-grade message control and story diversions on Twitter and anywhere else they can't slam you with free pizzas and Warrior Girl stripteases.

Anyway, the team seemes dead in the water these days fresh off the heels of another embarrassing undressing by a quality opponent. Folks have begun to sincerely miss Don Nelson's more entertaining losing ways as Keith Smart's very boring losing ways dawn on even the casual fan. It's too early to decide Smart's exact place in the Warriors coaching parthenon but it's definitely somewhere south of Eric Musselman and Mike Montgomery, possibly north of Garry St. Jean and Brian Winters.

Everyone is losing interest. So what better time for yet another happy story after the Amundson hype a few days back salvaged Joe Lacob's 2-9 record as owner!? Now we're 2-11 under Lacob but fear not, Warriors have TWO guys coming to save the day!

It's Acie Law and Ekpe Udoh Time!

Memphis axed Acie Law because Greivis Vasquez, a rookie they drafted with the 28th pick of this year's draft, has so badly outplayed him in every way. Acie Law sucks and I hate him. He's a terrible point guard. But if it keeps Jeremy Fucking Lin and Charlie Fucking Bell off the floor, let's do it. But since li'l Kirk Lacob the party animal can't cut his bullshit crony ticket sales gimmick guaranteed cash signing Jeremy Lin but we have to make a roster slot for Acie (Familiar Name for Drooling Slack-Jawed "Fans") Law, we'll end up axing the only unguaranteed cash on the roster, Jeff Adrien.... who is more [useful + talented + athletic] than David Lee, Ekpe Udoh, Vladimir Radmanovic, and Dan Gadzuric combined if you're trying to play legit basketball and need some mix-it-up beef inside. Go ahead and check out Adrien's production and then defend cutting HIM, of all names on the current craptastic roster, on basketball grounds. You can't do it.

It's only about the cash. Robert Rowell is STILL running the basketball decisions through Salary Protection mumbo jumbo. You fucking morons.

Happy happy. Joy joy.

Anyway, on to the numbers:

Player - AST/TO [APG]
1. Sherron Collins - 5.00 [.4]
2. Ben Uzoh - 4.00 [.7]
3. Pooh Jeter - 3.67 [5.4]
4.. Willie Warren - 3.17 [1.6]
5. Jeff Teague - 2.82 [2.3]
6. Ty Lawson - 2.77 [4.1]
7. Jrue Holiday - 2.52 [7.0]
8. AJ Price - 2.50 [2.5]
9. John Wall - 2.44 [9.1]
10. Patrick Mills - 2.42 [2.4]
11. Eric Maynor - 2.33 [2.1]
12. Greivis Vasquez - 2.31 [1.8]
13. Ishmael Smith - 2.30 [2.6]
14. Brandon Jennings - 2.19 [5.4]
15. Stephen Curry - 1.75 [5.6]
16. Tyreke Evans - 1.69 [5.4]
17. Eric Bledsoe - 1.69 [5.0]
18. Darren Collison - 1.66 [4.0]
19. Toney Douglas - 1.64 [1.9]
(Acie Law - 1.40 [1.3])
20. Armon Johnson - 1.33 [2.0]
21. Jeremy Lin - 1.30 [.9]
(Marco Belinelli - 1,27 [1,3])

Assist Rate - Usage Rate
1. Willie Warren - 36.1 - 15.2
2. Pooh Jeter - 34.5 - 21.1
3. Ishmael Smith - 34.0 - 16.0
4. Patrick Mills - 33.8 - 22.8
5. Jeff Teague - 33.4 - 16.7
6. Eric Bledsoe - 31.4 - 17.4
7. John Wall - 30.8 - 24.2
8. Jrue Holiday - 30.5 - 20.9
9. AJ Price - 30.1 - 21.7
(Acie Law - 29.5 - 16.1)
10. Ty Lawson - 28.7 - 18.7
11. Greivis Vasquez - 27.5 - 20.2
12. Armon Johnson - 27.2 - 23.1
13. Eric Maynor - 26.5 - 17.8
14. Ben Uzoh - 23.7 - 13.8
15. Stephen Curry - 21.8 - 25.3
16. Darren Collison - 20.9 - 22.7
17. Brandon Jennings - 20.7 - 26.2
18. Jeremy Lin - 20.7 - 16.0
19. Tyreke Evans - 20.1 - 25.9
20. Toney Douglas - 15.1 - 18.3
(Marco Belinelli - 10,6 - 16,8)

Rookie/Sophomore Point Guard AST/TO, Assist Rates, and Usage Rates

2010-11-27T10:57:00.000-08:00

Player - AST/TO [APG]
1. Willie Warren - 3.80 [1.7]
2. AJ Price - 3.00 [3.0]
3. Eric Maynor - 2.83 [2.1]
4. Ty Lawson - 2.52 [3.9]
5. Ishmael Smith - 2.44 [3.0]
6. Jeff Teague - 2.50 [2.2]
7. Jrue Holiday - 2.40 [7.1]
8. John Wall - 2.33 [9.1]
9. Darren Collison - 2.29 [4.4]
10. Brandon Jennings - 2.26 [5.7]
11. Stephen Curry - 1.95 [5.7]
12. Jeremy Lin - 1.63 [1.3]
13. Eric Bledsoe - 1.63 [4.9]
(Monta Ellis - 1.62) [4.8]
14. Toney Douglas - 1.57 [2.1]
15. Tyreke Evans - 1.56 [5.2]
(Eric Gordon - 1.56) [4.7]
16. Greivis Vazquez - 1.56 [1.4]
17. Armon Johnson - 1.41 [2.1]

Assist Rate - Usage Rate
1. Willie Warren - 39.1 - 15.0
2. Ishmael Smith - 32.1 - 17.2
3. Jeff Teague - 31.9 - 16.6
4. Eric Bledsoe - 30.8 - 17.6
5. Jrue Holiday - 30.3 - 21.0
6. John Wall - 30.0 - 25.2
7. AJ Price - 29.8 - 21.3
8. Eric Maynor - 26.9 - 17.3
9. Armon Johnson - 26.6 - 23.0
10. Ty Lawson - 26.4 - 19.3
11. Greivis Vazquez - 23.7 - 19.8
12. Jeremy Lin - 22.8 - 17.3
13. Darren Collison - 22.6 - 22.6
14. Brandon Jennings - 22.4 - 25.6
15. Stephen Curry - 21.5 - 26.1
16. Tyreke Evans - 19.0 - 26.1
(Eric Gordon) - 15.9 - 28.6
(Monta Ellis) - 15.8 - 26.8
17. Toney Douglas - 14.7 - 20.0

The Hornets Are Going For It. Carmelo Anthony Coming Along For The Ride?

2010-11-22T13:57:00.000-08:00

The Hornets have shocked the NBA community with their success to this point. They're 11-1, tied with San Antonio for best in the league. Side note: one team starts Marco Belinelli, another starts DeJuan Blair.

And the world rejoices.

Chris Paul is as good as he ever was, Trevor Ariza is recuperated (Houston, we have a problem), Emeka Okafor is skinny and healthy, Marco Belinelli is skinny and healthy (who knew he could do it?), and David West is still making jump shots like he's Peja Stojakovic or something. Etc.

After the entire league was certain Paul would force his way out of town or quit for two years so he'd be healthy for a max deal to contend in New York or wherever, he's gone another direction. The smarter direction. The brilliant champion's direction:

"Fuck you, I'll kick your ass."

And the world rejoices.

Now he's got his buddy Jarrett Jack in tow after an interesting multi-stage trade with Toronto over the weekend that sent the aging corpse of Peja north with still-interesting young talent Jarred Bayless (younger than GQ Curry) in exchange for Jack, semi-OK reserve big David Andersen, and expiring contract Marcus Banks. The move suggests future moves, too. That's right, NBA West. Don't sleep on GM Chris Paul. He's in it to win it.

The Morris Peterson trade exception used to acquire Marcus Banks was useless as part of larger trades. But laundering it now, over the weekend of November 20th-21st, converts it into a fully liquid $5 millionish for multi-player deals as early as one month before the league's February trade deadline. That one month of salary relief potential might make a major difference to a team looking to cash out on big salaried stars committed to leaving town at season's end no matter what their teams do. Getting out of financial commitments via trade exceptions or other means a month early on a multi-million dollar contract is a major draw. David Andersen is liquid, too, as less than $200,000 of his 2011-12 contract is guaranteed. Chump change write-off for most. Anyone but the California Warriors, really.

The Hornets have started the Carmelo positioning season off with a bang.

Total in effectively expiring contracts the Hornets now hold:
About $18 million if Belinelli and Jason Smith are expendable on a true star (they are).
Plus a nearly $10 million Traded Player Exception. The kind the California Warriors never used after cash-dumping Jason Richardson for Brandan Wright right after We Believe! in 2007.

When this deal went down, it seemed like the Hornets had sold way short on a major gem in the Stojakovic contract. But using it as part of a deal to free up the Peterson TPE for multi-player deals actually increases the Hornets' flexibility while dropping the team under the luxury tax threshold. They up their largest available TPE to a whopping $9.7 million or so (remainder of the Peja deal) and still have a full max contract's worth of expiring contracts. They can get TWO major difference makers now and pay some tax or get "just" Anthony and still avoid paying luxury tax.

That's flat-out brilliant executive work by Dell Demps & co.
I apologize for thinking they'd screwed this up at first.

The New Orleans Hornets just blew the Western Conference out of the water for contender-with-flexibility-to-improve status. If their fast start is no mirage (and it still could be one- nail-biter in Sacramento last night), no other team can say it's atop the tougher conference AND has a top 5 NBA superstar firing on all cylinders AND can run the February trade deadline on all fronts, with multiple teams.

The Hornets sale price should have just jumped.

No luxury tax and they can still potentially add Carmelo. Then, if you'd like to, new Hornets owner, you can pay luxury tax to add another difference maker. Make it JR Smith with Carmelo so the Nuggets are enamored with a spare parts and salary relief offer, for example, and you'll lose luxury tax handouts and pay an extra $6 million BUT you're going to kick major ass and be at least a temporary destination for top players again. Strong chance Paul convinces Carmelo to simply play out his final year and then they'll both be free agents together for 2012. And if he can't? You could get in on a S&T deal with Anthony and, bare minimum, you've got the same brilliant cap room you otherwise would have only you've still got Paul and you probably just ran some fools in the playoffs. NBA players run to contention. Good vets take less money to play with motivated superstars and players' coaches who seem to know what they're doing on all sides of the ball.

Things look better for the Hornets no matter what they do at this point. If they're about to make more moves and if they're in on Carmelo, Marcus Thornton is a decent young player to throw into the mix to sweeten a cash dump proposal to the Nuggets or another team with a departing or disgruntled star available this February. I'm less clear on the status of the Hornets' first round draft pick. Dell Demps traded a top-7 protected 2011 first round draft pick in the Bayless deal. The Hornets will not finish in the bottom 7 of the league. They'll be keeping their draft pick. But I don't think that means they can re-trade it unless they acquire another pick somehow, and they cannot trade their 2012 pick with the 2011 pick outstanding still. Anyone smarter than me, please explain this situation.

The Nuggets seemed well past the point of getting a blue chip prospect like Favors for a Carmelo rental. Before this Hornets-Raptors deal adjusted the Carmelo Destination Landscape, the Nuggets were set to fail miserably in a short-sighted, imaginationless ticket sales desperation impotence like Toronto with Bosh or surrender to one of the lowly rental offers promising mere salary relief. But the Hornets now can take as much unmatched, pure cash-dump salary in a deal with Denver as anyone AND offer at least one extremely promising young player. Possibly some draft picks, too. Marcus Thornton for JR Smith is a deal the entire league would make right now if you offered it. Chris Paul/Dell Demps may be the only executive branch in the NBA willing to be on the other end of that deal. It's a perfect storm. Carmelo is leaving Denver however he has to. This may ultimately up the offers from other teams with less firepower than New Orleans once they realize exactly what just happened. But NEVER underestimate Pre-Lockout/Retirement David Stern's manipulation of league business and behavior and his obstinate refusal to give up on a dying New Orleans market. This is his chance to rectify the Toronto problem and this is a team that has to sell locally. HAS TO.

(see: Warriors sale to Lakers/Celtics fans, rigged; anti-hiphop culture dress codes, enacted; Tech Foul ramp up, inexplicable; Donaghy, Tim; and revenue lies, constant).

There's no downside to going all-in on a Carmelo rental in New Orleans. Carmelo is better than Chris Bosh and Paul is WAY better than Chris Bosh. This set-up says real playoff success, whereas Toronto had nothing going for it. Bosh was a soft complementary player and couldn't lead Baron Davis to a doughnut. Chris Paul is the real effing deal. Give him an elite player who has already proven he can play score-first second fiddle to Paul to brilliant effect, and you win. You win.

Other teams in the West have one month to make similar moves to show they mean business on a Carmelo Anthony move. Paul and Carmelo were the top players for Team USA in the 2008 Olympics and they want to play together. They complement each other ridiculously well. One could argue no other superstar pairing makes more sense in the league today. They may well end up in New York with Amar'e in the very near future. But New Orleans is now a top candidate to land Carmelo's services for the immediate future and that should scare the living shit out the Western Conference and the league. And unlike that spoiled, moronic owner's-son-turned-can't-close-executive, Bryan Colangelo, Dell Demps has something to work for and he's going all out to keep Chris Paul happy and win everything he can.

Right. Now.

New Era: Lacob Pays to Provide Full Port-A-Potty Access in Parking Lots

2010-11-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

Big big news from last night's atrocity of a "basketball" game between the New York Knicks and the California Warriors. Two super shitty teams. One shittier than the other and poised with Bob Shitzgerald excuse-delivery for the post game. Big changes. Just wait until..... whenever.

Appropriately, Lacob-Goober unlocked and cleaned all of the outhouses in the parking lot in preparation for the huge deuce dropping administered by the Knicks and their fans. Cohan never paid to have outhouses available to fans for pre-and post-game use despite the shittiest traffic approach in the entire league.

Indeed, "something special is happening already."

"Someone" has been reading my past thoughts on the facilities recently, I can confirm from my site stat info.
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2010/01/oracle-arena-parkingouthouses-cohan.html

In other news: Goober watched the first half courtside, gazed dreamily at me for a while, then disappeared for the second half. Either he had a flight to his LA home to catch or he was hiding his hair from the shitstorm on the court. David Lee is a true team leader. He's really leading at least one Warriors girl. Or at least planning to. Eyes glued to and winking at the ladies at all team timeouts.

Fred Harman, Warriors Co-Owner: Anyone Will Do. Epic Cash Whore.

2010-11-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

Willing to ride in the backseat with Cohan, Ellison, and/or Lacob.

He was a minority owner under Chris Cohan.
Then he teamed up with Larry Ellison for the bidding process.
Then he bought in (free?) with Lacob & co. after he lost the bidding process.

If no money has to change hands, his 5% stake should represent $22.5 million of the $450 million (besides the $150 million league loan) Lacob & co. don't have to pay now, right? Harman said he would NOT be a part of Lacob's group when last asked. Now, magically, he's front and center with Joe Lacob at the games.

This guy don't give a FUCK who he rides with. Just give him that sweet sweet cash.
Fuck the, you know, basketball operations.
Terrible sign.

In other news, the Warriors' legal representation on the sale, Katten Muchen Rosenman LLP, has no Bay Area offices.

About that Sophomore AST/TO tracker.

2010-11-16T13:09:00.000-08:00

Disagree with any reports or stats that make Stephen Curry look bad. Only positive stories and WinSpeak moving forward. This product must seem tasty. This is Show Business.

(Qualified Leaders PG Rank)
1. Eric Maynor - 3.17 (9)
2. Ty Lawson - 3.00 (10)
3. Brandon Jennings - 2.52 (22)
4. Jrue Holiday - 2.48 (23)
5. Jeff Teague - 2.33 (27)
6. Darren Collison - 1.83 (42)
7. Stephen Curry - 1.77 (44)
8. Tyreke Evans - 1.69 (51)
9. Toney Douglas - 1.27 (73)
10. James Harden - .82 (82)

Kirk Lacob: Director of Basketball Operations

2010-11-14T17:02:00.001-08:00

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Solid Gold:
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-does-kirk-lacob-know-about.html

Season AST/TO Check: Sophomore PG (and James Harden)

2010-11-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

10 games in. This list will not include John Wall, Mike Conley, or DJ Augustin.

(Qualified Leaders PG Rank)
1. Ty Lawson - 2.77 (12)
[CJ Watson & Jeremy Lin - 2.67]
2. Jeff Teague - 2.60 (15)
3. Brandon Jennings - 2.52 (17)
4. Jrue Holiday - 2.48 (18)
5. Tyreke Evans - 1.87 (29)
6. Darren Collison - 1.83 (31)
7. Eric Maynor - 1.83
8. Stephen Curry - 1.82 (32)
9. Toney Douglas - 1.13 (42 but a shooting guard now)
10. James Harden - .70

Stephen Curry's ankle is 100% fine.
He's just a bitchy prima donna spoiled brat 6th man who can't play defense worth even half a D League shit.

Post Drunkout: Nellie Ball Forever (Warriors 3rd in Pace, 23rd in Opp. Points Per Game)

2010-11-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

Chris Cohan Ownership Win Number 483!
Robert Rowell Presidency Win Number 254!
(We all mised his 250th win on Asian Heritage Night vs. the Clippers October 29th.
Sorry, I take full responsibility for letting that milestone pass as unnoticed as a Chris Mullin jersey retirement)

Warriors are now 6-2 under Chris Cohan and Robert Rowell this season. Take the Lakers loss off of their docket and their opponents' collective win-loss record is a cool 17-30 (.362). Yikes. The Knicks game highlighted shitty defense and stat-centric slop ball not seen since.... all of last season, this preseason, this season, and any time Keith Smart gets flustered in a close game vs. shitty opponents. To almost cough up a NINETEEN point lead against a doormat like the Knicks is embarrassing at best. No progress whatsoever strategically, stylistically, or otherwise despite Nellie's best efforts to orchestrate armageddon for two years running. Now we're just back to the syrupy pre-Drunkout shitball only with far worse defenders/contract pushers at point guard and small forward.

Monta Ellis, the team's obvious MVP, may get the All Star nod Baron didn't in 2007-08 and Dorell Wright seems more reliable than Stephen Jackson as a no-conscience Chucker against bad teams. But this is the same model. In EVERY meaningful way.

One minor difference: rebounding differential. Used to think this was THE major difference but I'm not so sure the Warriors can legitimately point to any meannigful or relevant improvement here just yet. In 2007-08, the Warriors were not good at outrebounding opponents over the full season. At all. Yet, they won 48 games. So far, they appear to be better and are ranked 6th in the league. Two double-digit rebounders in the starting lineup certainly helps. But then again, 6 of the Warriors 8 opponents are in the bottom half of the league in rebounding differential. And more confusing/troubling still for a shitball run-it-up team, the Toronto Raptors actually have a BETTER rebounding differential than the Warriors depite being about the absolute worst team in the league and all-purpose league punchline MINNESOTA is even better than Toronto. Strange days.

The Warriors are now giving up 104.3 points per game, good for 23rd in the league. Houston is dead last at 110.6. Memphis and New York are both lower than the Warriors in OPP PPG. Toronto is 21st at 103.8. Utah, which may finally be emerging from its cave, is still down at 20th in the league. The Warriors have played exactly two teams outside the bottom third of the league in OPP PPG:

The Detroit Pistons and the Los Angeles Lakers.
They lost both games.

Keith Smart's supposedly revamped offense.... isn't.

On the other side of the ball, the Warriors are pointing to their OPP FG% rates so far. But they're dropping quickly off of stat padding stinkers from the Clippers and Utah and have already hit 45%. They're likely to get worse as the season wears on and the good teams finally hit the schedule in any sort of volume. The last three opponents:

Detroit: .431 season, .451 vs. GSW
Toronto: .441season, .458 vs. GSW
New York: .443 season, .468 vs. GSW

Unbelievably poor work against poor-shooting teams.

This recent failure to plan or execute any sort of new, non-Nellieball team defensive coherence suggests that, as the schedule gets tougher, the Warriors will continue to allow big shooting nights to their opponents and they may very well begin to give up even more points per night as other teams get some game tape under their coaching staffs' belts. It won't take long to figure out that the Warriors don't really have much of an offensive toolkit at all and are largely just taking advantage of early-season sloppiness and terrible broken teams with sucker plays Nellie already ran. All saved at the buzzer by swaggerriffic timely (desperate) three point shooting in shootouts. The Knicks and Pistons both looked like they had the Warriors' simplistic strategic composition figured out. Detroit knew how to dismantle it from the ground up and New York was nearly capable of letting the slop ball routine play itself out and simply making more shots before the buzzer sounded. Better shooting teams with even a modicum of defensive intensity relative to New York will simply torch the Warriors under similar circumstances.

The Warriors are third in pace behind Minnesota and Houston so good opponent shooting is hardly even necessary to shatter the illusion of defensive competence the team is selling desperately. This is still a Nellie Ball team. Pre-Drunkout Nellie, to be sure, but still just a chucking running idiot ball team with stat padders and no defensive presence whatsoever when push comes to shove and legitimate team structure is on the other side of the media table.

When's the sale closing?

Joe Lacob Doesn't Have the Cash or an Investment Group & is a Huge Douche Bag Control Freak.

2010-11-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

From Ric Bucher's ESPN chat this Thursday:

Joel (Santa Cruz)
What is the heck is going on with the Warriors sale?

Ric Bucher (1:03 PM)
From what I've heard, the presumptive owners are looking for additional investors to reduce the amount of cash they actually have to put up. The problem is, they're promising zero input from the minority partners. That's the way former owner Chris Cohan ran it and no one wants to put money up to be part of that.

http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/chat/_/id/35345/nba-with-ric-bucher

All credit to the fabulous Joel Creager (Nuck Chorris) of the Warriors online fan and media community for getting this important question posed to Ric Bucher. Whose sources are excellent as always.

Warriors fans and lazy, reactionary media stooges who LOUDLY assured you that "anyone will do" so long as Chris Cohan sells the team but maybe Larry Ellison isn't the best man for the job (they said all of this in MARCH, by the way) have officially been exposed as gleaming dipshit Pollyanna Homer Moron Toolz.

No Sale Anytime Soon still reigns supreme 8 months and counting after it was proclaimed.

Oldie but a goodie by Nuck on the Warriors' anti-fanopinionfreedom PR bullshit. They're still rolling with painfully awkward attempts to control fan/media access and message such as Twit Day or whatever:
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/04/read-it-and-weep.html

Chris Cohan nets 478th win as Owner! Countdown to 500 is on!!!!!

2010-10-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

With the Golden State Warriors' barn-burning romper-stomper victory over the visiting, Yao-less, second game of a road back-to-back (fresh off a loss to the Lakers) Houston Rockets, current team owner Christopher J. Cohan secured his 478th win as team owner.

The Warriors became the Golden State Warriors under Franklin Mieuli and moved permanently from San Francisco to Oakland at the start of the 1971-72 season. Mieuli's Oakland-era ownership included the team's only California championship and 603 total wins. Cohan may get to win his 500th game as team owner as part of best friend Joe Lacob's kind broker's gift while we wait for transfer of title to close. But he'll never surpass Mieuli's Oakland record.

Mieuli moved the team from Philadelphia to Oakland with the help of a massive investment group of over 30 individuals. He soon bought out the individual minority owners at staggered intervals as they asked out of the group, and Mieuli eventually became the sole owner. This proved an intelligent purchase strategy- designed as such or not- because it secured the necessary acquisition and relocation/start-up capital but did not drain operations resources, allowing Mieuli to put a passable professional basketball team on the court in San Francisco right away. Mieuli had convinced the minority investors to join his ownership syndicate with financial stakes in the team but no real managerial authority, thereby enabling him to assert his own central managerial authority and retain team philosophical, cultural, and basketball control until he had the cash to buy them out at reasonable rates once they were bored with or disappointed by their role in the syndicate arrangement. Mieuli was an original, that's for sure.

Incidentally, Robert Rowell sells far more tickets and makes far more money than Mieuli ever did.
Attendance in Oakland sucked even when Mieuli's Warriors were winning.

Ah, sports.
Reveal character, indeed.

(credit D Bruce).

I'm having second thoughts about selling. These guys hate Bay Area sports.

2010-10-23T23:12:00.000-07:00

This is what new Warriors owner Peter Guber was doing right as Brian Wilson was closing out the Giants National League pennant tonight:

Reminder: Buy @SteveDenning 's book 2moro at 4pm EST- 48 HRS only- receive free chapter of my book #Tell To #Win http://bit.ly/TTWRM #story

Seriously. Right at the same time.
http://twitter.com/#!/PeterGuber/status/28560878235

Announcement: Chris Cohan Will Be Leaving Us Shortly

2010-10-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

Per David Stern's trainwreck press conference Friday, I and 15 of my closest friends who answered the craigslist add to buy percentage stake in the Warriors will hopefully take over ownership of the team sometime this coming week but probably not in time for the season opener Wednesday. That's OK, because now that game will be attended by NO ONE as the Giants begin the World Series across the bay, where we hope to break ground on our new arena just as soon as Magic Johnson closes his last Starbucks shop and secures the financing we can't after maxing out our NBA credit card at $150 million.

We gave Cohan free courtside/owner's seats for life in honor of his service and title transfer acumen. We gave his pet squirrel Robert Rowell a contract extension. Cohan may be off the office premises for good any day now though. Just wait. All we ask for is more patience from you.

Lockout.
Jeremy Lin.

Signed,
The Management

Williams-Ellis is the starting backcourt. Jeremy Lin sucks. Keith Smart is Dumb. GQ Curry mocking his own teammate from the bench.

2010-10-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

Was a great game most of the way in LA to close the preseason. Monta Ellis and Reggie Williams established themselves as the premier backcourt for the Warriors if only considerations besides winning basketball games didn't dictate such things in Oakland.

Disposable: Radmanovic, Bell, Gadzuric, Lin, Carney, Wright, Wright, Udoh.
Totally replaceable: David Lee and Stephen Curry (would they land a true two-way PF of quality?).

Oh yeah and uninjured spoiled brat li'l GQ Curry was VERY happy to see a 53-minutes-played Monta Ellis miss a dunk for the lead at the very end of this one:

The New Era

2010-10-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

I'm about to make my big entrance as Official Owner.

I was at the game last night with my kid Kirk, looking fabulous, hobknobbing with Fred Harman, and starting down CC with an ice cold "I mean business" glare at halftime but I have to play it cool while my collusive overbid (how the hell is that even possible?!) is approved by the League of Whitemen.

As I prepare to put my desk knick knacks and slippers in the Downtown training facilities owner's office, I thought I'd review the great catchphrases of recent seasons and introduce this year's excuse. I mean slogan. I mean myth. I mean T-Shirt. I mean fuck you.

2007-08: Swagger!
2008-09: It's Only Preseason!
2009-10: Wait Until NEXT Year!
2010-11: We Don't Even Own the Team Yet!

As always: Buy tix now, damn these injuries, No Playoffs, Yes Sir.

Holy Shit.

2010-10-14T11:37:00.001-07:00

http://www.jeremylin.net/

Minority Ownership and (League) Credit Where Rent is Due

2010-10-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it the "new" owner of the Warriors, Joe Lacob, the proffered synecdoche of a seething organism of ownership more appropriately labelled Joe Lacob & co., is desperate for small time ownership buy-ins so he can pony up the liquid cash to pay off Don Nelson and actually, you know, RUN THE TEAM. But not pay rent (see previous post).

We're talking 1% stakes for sale here, and supposedly those may be purchased by groups of fans, provided you're an extra-special-enough fat cat season ticket holder. These aren't shareholders with any say or any operations responsibilities. Just local rich guys who want to say they own a piece of the NBA. This is merely artificial financing for Lacob that capitalizes on the Chardonnay set morons in the Bay Area who apparently still have plenty of disposable income as the nation suffers outside the arena. Etc. Lacob's owed amount drops by a stray million or five and he can pocket the difference by not paying any severance to the still-employed band of idiots in the Warriors front offices, the PR staff, and the medical team.

Reminder: Robert Rowell is still team president. Bob Fitzgerald is still the voice of the Robert Rowell Warriors. And Franco Finn gets a nice raise and more TV time this season. No word yet on the Hype Crew and the pizza team.

Lacob has to somehow, through the help of Fox News Analyst and raging Scientologist Peter Guber, come up with $300 million in "equity" besides the free $150 million the NBA is putting up to itself to buy Cohan out and prop up team values as it cries poor and tests fan support for a wacked out hard cap and Lockout 2011. Tightie Whiteys. He showed The David Stern Club his portfolio or his roster or his dossier or his 'books or his iPad or whatever people with lots of money show to other people with lots of money to prove that they have lots of money so the other guys with lots of money will let them take over something worth an ambiguous, probably manipulated amount of money in order to make more of said money. What is unclear in every way: Does the NBA transfer $150 million in liquid, solid, or candy cash directly to Chris Cohan even if Joe Lacob is just giving Cohan a bunch of junk bonds and Viagra stock options? And is Joe Lacob "good for it" at a later or never date?

So if you want in on the Warriors- and hurry so Lacob can actually buy this trainwreck!- email him directly at that email address he was broadcasting in July before he got so "overwhelmed" by it all. There's a grocery store baron and The Goober up top with Lacob & co. but then it's wide open. Get on the phone with your broker or your bookie and get it done. You, too, can be a Super Fan NBA owner of a team already committed to 6 years of Stephen Curry is a legitimate NBA point guard and David Lee is a defensive juggernaut difference maker. Even though they don't even own the team yet!

All under the sure direction of Team President Robert Rowell.

Jeremy Lin.

And if you decide you want out, that you've had your fill when the David Lee contract publicly and obviously becomes the crippling albatross it already is, when Dorell Wright does not save the team, and when Ekpe Udoh is 25 and busted, you can always email Joe Lacob directly and he'll make time for you. Because he cares and this is all he does: Warriors Basketball. He'll give you a refund, right after he pays $11 million in backrent and THEN pays all the operating costs on the season he can't cover with Jeremy Lin mini-plan and jersey sales this Summer. As long as there's no lockout. The owners are willing to, presumably, not pay their non-basketball employees and energy bills and rent and such during the lockout, too, I presume. They mean business. But just write him a little note or text him. Maybe tweet him. Let him know it was fun but you were only a Bandwagon Owner for a year and now you need your liquidity back so you can buy that second home you always wanted. Joe Lacob will help you out. He would never lock you in for more than a one year commitment of that capital you parted company with just in time for him to not break up assets that aren't worth what he claimed they were to the NBA and stand up dude Sal Galatioto.

But if he can't get around to giving you your investment back once it's clear you were duped, he'll write you a beautiful I.O.U. letter laced with important words like "impatient," "great players," "new direction," "championship," and "We don't even own the team yet!"

And rest assured, Joe Lacob is good for it.

Joe Lacob Refuses to Pay $11 Million Rent Debt He Bought From Chris Cohan & Other Cultural Learnings of the America Basketball Nation

2010-10-09T12:12:00.000-07:00

Supposedly Sal Galatioto ran a fine, upstanding, on the level sale process in which all interested purchasers got a nice clean look at the "financials" under still-President Robert Rowell. That would presumably include outstanding debt on the arena "improvements" of 1996-97 and whatever remains of a $17 million debt to the Arena Authority on pilfered premium seating revenues dating back to 1999. Knowing Cohan-Rowell, those payments were kept small and paid as rarely as possible while probably accruing even more debt on top of that. Like his well-publicized tax evasion, this issue certainly helped encourage a hasty sale as debts came due. Good luck finding out how much all that runs.

But with this news of $11 million in back rent owed by The Warriors (whoever owns them) to The Coliseum Authority, here's our first of surely MANY exposed debts coming due in the wake of the perfectly-timed Cohan sale. According to reports, the "new" ownership has no intention of paying this debt but also no clear intention of trying to get Chris Cohan to pay it.

Robert Rowell/Cohan apparently convinced the Authority to not press the issue while the sale was worked out. They may have even extended the lease by 5 years as a means to appease the Authority for enough time to get the sale closed and the buck passed. Rowell, who negotiated all sales business for Cohan, has to be presumed to have handled the lease details as well. Or, even more likely, he simply gave the directive to a paper pusher in the team's legal or facilities department.

The lease extension allowed new language that heavily penalizes a future move to San Francisco before the lease term ends. There's no indication that a move out of market would result in any penalty besides the basic lease break amount. The lease now runs until 2017 with 10 years in possible extensions and a move to San Francisco would cost boatloads. The recent article on the past due rent says that the Coliseum Authority has sort of looked the other way on back rent SPECIFICALLY so the sale could go through. In exchange for not publicly mentioning the $11 million and making the sale process look even stranger than the Galatioto gloating and grandstanding already did, Rowell gave them guaranteed, contractually binding assurances that they'd have a tenant forever or a big fat payoff on in-market departure from an aging-by-the-day sports complex. VERY clever stuff.

Did I mention that Robert Rowell is still President of the Golden State Warriors?

Could that lease extension, if negotiated with full insider knowledge on the part of Lacob, actually have been a simple diversion from a likely move out of the aging Oakland hell hole our new co-emperor, Location Based Entertainment Fox News Guru Peter Guber, had never been inside of for a game before... wait, has he ever?!

Meanwhile, Lacob/Riley/Marc Grabow-Tom Abdenour are drafting injured (bad) players (Udoh) and signing guys with chronic back issues (Amundson). Oh and Jeremy Lin. No pandering going on here at all. Yao trade next?

And they will not pay rent because they probably were planning to pay some other debt or penalty already and this little surprise cost has them acting like, well, themselves.

Their current official public position: Eat it. How did you get this number?

(Funny story: Lowell Cohn ran a blog item about Joe Lacob being overwhelmed and asking Lowell how he got his number a few weeks back... since deleted? Any help on finding that entry appreciated).

Either Lacob & co. (who the fuck owns this team?!) are complete morons who just got jobbed over by Chris Cohan and Robert Rowell like the premium seating suckers they are or they knew and, as reports indicate, are now refusing to pay out of sheer, obstinate, cheapskate assholery. Sounds familiar in Warriorland.

I thought Cohan wouldn't sell because it made no sense before the Lockout of 2011 that seems more inevitable by the day. But even I underestimated the level of vampiric soul sucking douche baggery Cohan and Rowell were capable of. They have multiple TENS OF MILLIONS in debts besides the tax evasions coming due and they got out just in time to avoid paying any of them. Remember the brilliant Rowell business philosophy, Salary Protection? And they got insurance coverage on tons of guys last season while making a series of trades dating back to the Rowell-ordered Jason Richardson-for-$10 million in free cash (unused TPE in a failed playoff bid, Brandan Wright maybe about to be OK.... or not re-signed since he costs money) that has essentially successfully laundered over $10 million in fan money EVERY SEASON by bringing in the minimum exchanged salary allowable in various subsequent moves of Al Harrington, Jamal Crawford, Stephen Jackson, etc.

Those Rowell/Galatioto-delivered "financials" must have included the nearly $11 million in back rent the Warriors owe to the Coliseum Arena Authority along with the pretty spreadsheets showing Rowell's money making scheme prowess as head of an eternally Shite on-court product. Right?

At any rate, now JOE LACOB himself, not Chris Cohan, is refusing to pay the Coliseum Authority that past due rent. Can the Arena foreclose? Hope BofA doesn't have any involvement.

Cohan has by now washed his hands of everything as he awaits league approval of his $450 million heist. It should be noted that Joe Lacob has failed to acquire teams NUMEROUS times in the past. That includes his most recent joint venture failure with his fellow Los Angelino, Peter Guber: attempted purchase of The Hated LA Dodgers (see uncomfortable photo op shot with Frank McCourt, top left). Lacob of course grew up in Massachusetts and then moved to Orange County. He's a dyed-in-the-wool Boston and LA sports fan, which must have been very strange indeed in the Magic-Bird years. I'll bet he rooted for the Celtics with gusto. But the bottom line is, he rushed in on this purchase and overbid by a full $100 million over a Forbes, league wide, and Larry Ellison set valuation of around $350 million. And Lacob did this thanks to the NBA's own credit advance system which puts the league on the hook for a whopping $100 million of the final "purchase" price until he pays it off.... if he ever can. He seems to be far less than liquid relative to that Larry Ellison guy, who got so liquid by not jumping in like a moron who wants a shiny new toy like Cohan when he first bought in and then sued for team control way back when and now totally replicated by his all-too-appropriate successor, Joe Lacob & co.

The credit line that enabled a shady overbid that Ellison ultimately came over the top of but for the previously arranged Rowell-Galatioto-Lacob Fuck You Larry PR party (really, did they prepare ANYTHING besides that ugly post-"sale" mess?) of course suggests value inflation and collusion of the highest degree. Ellison won't give two shits about the bad owners' whining about hard caps and player-agent screw jobs because he, yaknow, correctly assesses value and sticks to his guns instead of overpaying to make his little wee-wee feel better. He's the ultimate threat to idiots like Ted Leonsis or Joe Lacob and authoritarian freakshows like David Stern, who asks that you please act less black if you play in the NBA, apparently. Or something as equivalently and appallingly yet sneakily, insidiously racist as that. Just enjoy your Chardonnay, you honkey fairweather bandwagon drone.

But I digress.

Ellison would not have been a single-industry owner: NBA team and nothing else. With the ominous caveat of Hollywood player and Fox News Entertainment Analyst Peter Guber, the Joe Lacob & co. ownership collective is looking increasingly like a guy who did well over the years, earned the respect of professional funny money heads, and is now cashing in his stockpile for his "retirement" venture as long as he can find enough lackey multi-millionaires to fund the insider acquisition for him. Cohan's game was cable (Sonic Communications) before he sold out and moved into full time Warriors fan torture. Lacob's net worth is clearly not much (if at all) in excess of the $450 million "sale" tag and his LIQUID worth can't come close. Hence the 20 party co-ownership game he's still trying to run. He supposedly has resorted to offering VERY small percentage stakes in efforts to get the money secured for league approval in the next week or so here. (Seriously- who in the goddam hell owns this fucking team?)

Sounds like he's really losing his shit. I'm sure he'll still get approved and all because David Stern and co. are bullheaded pricks about to kill our league for at least a year under lockout and any fuck ups with Lacob will have disastrous ripple effects around the brimming-with-cash-and-increased-ticket-sale-revenue league trying to steal the fans' and players' money from them. Their old man honkey pride is severely wounded by the awesome pro athletes and their global appeal. No one wants to look at a picture of Peter Guber in Moldova or China or wherever, no matter how much hair die, botox, and scientology he applies to his mission of Hype. Fucking creep. But folks can stare at a dreamy nude shot of Amar'e Stoudemire all day, anywhere, any time. That's what being an international icon is all about: looking great naked. Just ask Pamela Anderson. Everybody loves that plastic weirdo in Poland.

This all of course suggests that Larry Ellison has a huge cock that Lacob, Stern, and the namby pamby bait-cutting and lockouting shitty owners are very jealous of. That's logic. You're welcome.

Technical foul for being correct.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
No open toed shoes please.

The Golden State Warriors have a new owner and a new look, but the organization continues to play the same old game of not paying its bills to its public landlord.

The team, purchased earlier this year for a record $450 million, refuses to pay the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Authority more than $10.7 million it owes in rent and other fees under its lease agreement.

"In a community where 10 percent of the police force has been laid off, for them to be in arrears $10.7 million is outrageous," said Jon Streeter, an attorney with Keker and Van Nest, a San Francisco law firm hired by the authority.

Your Golden State Warriors: Still Fucking With Oakland and Fans.

http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_16287739?source=rss&nclick_check=1

A recent NY Times article on owners buying high and selling quickly once they realize they're in WAY over their heads:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/17/sports/17teams.html

Greetings from Joe Lacob

2010-10-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

Chris Cohan graciously invited me to assist in ruining your [Oakland] basketball experience. And I graciously accepted that kind invitation from my dear friend Chris Cohan, with whom I am good friends lo these great many years. We will be keeping Chris Cohan's professionally bred Weasel, so stop asking. Bobby Rowell is a Winner and I like money.

Jeremy Lin.

Signed,
The Management

Ekpe Udoh injured BEFORE Draft, Team (and Curry) Lying About It

2010-10-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

If YOU know how Warriors first round draft pick Ekpe Udoh ACTUALLY injured his wrist- where he was, who he was with, what he was doing- be sure to send a memo to the Warriors. Because they apparently have no clue.

Adam Lauridsen, Warriors fan blogger for the Mercury News, recently previewed the team's power forward rotation this season. And therein, this gem:

He’s saddled with the honor of being the sixth pick in what most consider a five-player draft, and didn’t help his cause by not disclosing a post-workout, pre-draft injury that will keep him out of the mix until 2011. Despite all the reasons to write off Udoh early (he was drafted by the same man that brought you Bryant “Big Country” Reeves at the same pick)...

http://blogs.mercurynews.com/warriors/2010/09/28/player-previews-the-power-forwards/

Of course, the team's release was clear that he was injured in a Supervised Workout situation. Present at the time were infallible Chosen One Stephen Curry (an EXCELLENT liar, as it turns out) and still-employed team injury guru, Mark Grabow. Here's the ESPN version of what all other media sources ran with:

The team made the announcement Wednesday and said Udoh, the No. 6 overall draft pick out of Baylor, was hurt during a supervised workout Sunday at Golden State's practice facility. The forward was working out with new teammate Stephen Curry and summer league teammate Joe Ingles under the direction of Warriors assistant Stephen Silas and director of athletic development Mark Grabow.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=5361935

One interesting side angle from generally worthless team mouthlpece, Rusty Simmons, muddied this picture a bit back on July 13th but makes the ongoing lying of Curry, Udoh, and the team even uglier:

A Warriors news release said the 6-foot-10 power forward from Baylor was injured in a supervised workout at the team's Oakland facility July 4. Udoh said it happened that day while attempting a dunk; point guard Stephen Curry said it happened while catching a routine pass from director of athletic development Mark Grabow; and shooting guard Reggie Williams noticed Udoh's wrist was hurting days earlier, while Udoh was bench pressing.

"It was really a freak thing," Curry said. "I guess he caught a pass the wrong way, and something kind of snapped, jammed, popped or whatever. I've never seen anyone get hurt that way."

One Warriors decision-maker said he believes Udoh was hurt while working with a personal trainer in Atlanta during the week between the draft and when he returned to Oakland. "We're sure it happened earlier, and Ekpe certainly should have told us, but that doesn't change our minds about him," he said.

http://articles.sfgate.com/2010-07-13/sports/21981002_1_warriors-point-guard-stephen-curry-general-manager-larry-riley

Much like Flunkster Dude in May of 2009, when team PR head Ray Ridder was outed for posting in fan forums (and only Ray Ridder was outed, of course, so the other myriad team-employed shitheads and interns could continue astroturfing and snarking like little bitches since the team itself can't just fucking win some games for a nice change of pace), this seems primed to elevate someone (like Dan Martinez, the team's social media and astroturfing chief) and perhaps signal the end to Mr. Grabow's central role with the team. But I doubt it. We won't hear about all this again.

Robert Rowell's the Big Bossman for Joe Lacob's Warriors and Robert Rowell does not blame players.

Sale will be approved by at least 22 of 30 owners later this month, right?

The Don Nelson Wikipedia Scandal?

2010-09-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

That schmuck fuck Warriors stooge "zagalejo" is policing wikipedia again.
Peeked in on today's Don Nelson action when the article looked about the same as the last time I read it.

Apparently the article cannot be changed because the Nelson resignation/firing is "not official yet."

Hmmmm. Wikipedia was always a little weird but anyone still clinging to the notion it's some sort of public info exchange site may as well get bent. It's corporate as fuck.

In other news, Lacob got reamed in his one and only face to face with Don Nelson. Cost him $6 million and he's so shell shocked by Nellie Ball (see previous post) he's talking multi-year mistake with Keith Smart in the wake of the SS Nellie setting sail for Maui. We're off to a fine start in Warriorville.

Oh yeah, and Carmelo Anthony ain't walking through that door.

Don Nelson's Melodramatic Death Scene Has Begun. It Lasts About 8 Months.

2010-09-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

Since we're finally getting the Chardonnay set to admit that the end is nigh for Don Nelson the Coach and seeing the first weak defenses of his basketball brain in the front office as the "new" owners try whatever they can to avoid admitting they love the current infrastructure completely and/or are willing to tell Larry Riley to piss off as they take credit for all of these spectacular moves this summer, you know, once they "officially" "own" the "team," (whew) ...

here's a fun exercise that plant shill wannabe fan media would do well to review.

Don Nelson took over as head coach of the Milwaukee Bucks from the great Larry Costello (first head coach in Bucks history and the only one to ever win Milwaukee a championship) partway into the 1976-77 season. Costello coached Kareem (and made him Kareem! - he changed his name the day after winning the title) and Oscar together after Oscar came over from the Cincinatti Royals (now the Sacramento Kings) to finish his career in Milwaukee. As always, there's an ugly backstory to the Nelson-Costello ouster but you're all more than familiar with the Don Nelson slash and burn, all for me business model so we'll skip that parenthetical aside here. But it's worth recalling that Kareem left Milwaukee under trade demands after Oscar retired and about the same time Don Nelson would arrive in the front office before ousting Costello at the PERFECT moment of vulnerability as the stars fled Milwaukee and the mood was grim.

Costello's All Stars in the 1976 game had been Brian Winters and Bob Dandridge. Incidentally, the Warriors had some All Stars that year, too, and that year should of course spark fond memories in any remaining Warriors fans over the age of 35. Rick Barry, Lamaal Wilkes, and Phil Smith all made the team and that was, of course, the one and only year the California Warriors franchise has ever won a championship. Perhaps that's where the "3 All Stars or no championship" lament came from.

This Milwaukee run was unquestionably Nelson's finest career period. He took teams deeper into the playoffs than he ever would after, he won two of his three career Coach of the Year awards (last one was in 1991-92 for the Warriors... 20 years ago), and worked with some quality all around players despite already showing clear signs that he was incapable of maintaining roster and chemical consistency. He's never come close to matching the relative calm of those years, calm that, though largely mythological due to the wheeling and dealing and turnover surrounding a few key player retentions, obviously led to his highest achievements as a coach.

These days, Nelson's remarkable fame as a personality and a generally interesting tactical weirdo is by far the larger story on his total career. In Milwaukee, he really coached and he really won. He was content to work hard and strive to compete day in, day out. But later, the money and the head games took center stage and Nellie Ball, the total, cultural legacy of Don Nelson, now dominates and overpowers the actual basketball in a daunting Mythology of the man's greatness.

Nelson's Bucks teams were the closest he ever got to taking the next step from idiosyncratic Personality cult and into the upper class of legitimately successful NBA tacticians and championship-caliber coaches.  His teams lost before the Conference Finals almost every time. The three times he made the Conference Finals in Milwaukee remain his lasting legacy, though he was beaten by legitimate contenders playing serious playoff basketball with transcendent talent like Dr. J or Larry Bird, each and every time. Twenty years later, one can say with certainty that he never put his massive ego and interpersonal destructiveness aside long enough to be a true winner in the postseason. But at least in Milwaukee, he won and competed without the burden of Nellie Ball culture hanging over his head constantly and, in the process, he earned the lion's share of the league and fan credit he has long since used up and burnt the recipts on. Except in Joe Lacob and Peter Goober's little pea-brained Chris Cohan-Part II minds, apparently.

Anyway...

Here's a list of players who made an All Star game while actually playing for Don Nelson in the season they made the team:

Milwaukee Bucks (1977-1987)
1977 - none
1978 - Brian Winters (his second and final appearance in the AS game)
1979 - Marques Johnson
1980 - Marques Johnson
1981 - Marques Johnson
1982 - Sidney Moncrief
1983 - Moncrief & Johnson
1984 - Moncrief
1985 - Moncrief & Terry Cummings (traded for)
1986 - Moncrief
1987 - none

Scott Skiles was never an All Star for Milwaukee.
Terry Cummings made the All Star team as a Buck again in 1989.

Pretty nice run. Sidney Moncrief is arguably the most successful player to have ever played for Nelson. To have ACTUALLY played for Don Nelson over the most significant stretch of his career. Chris Mullin is really the only other candidate for that title. Perhaps it is no coincidence that Nelson sent both men off into the wild blue yonder due to a variety of personal and professional problems in the last few years here in Golden State. Or blame Robert Rowell if you prefer. Either way, Lacob-Goober's brain trust looks absolutely sterling moving forward, doesn't it? Those two incompetent chemists and Lacob's son, the Fantasy League Champion Kirk Lacob. Moving on.

1987-88 - Took a Vacation (Did Not Coach - DNC)

Golden State Warriors (1988-1995)
1989 - Chris Mullin
1990 - Chris Mullin
1991 - Mullin & Tim Hardaway
1992 - Mullin & Hardaway
1993 - Mullin & Hardaway
1994 - Latrell Sprewell
1995 - Sprewell (Game MVP: Mitch Richmond, Sacramento Kings. Hmmm.)

Mitch Richmond went on to greatness as a Sacramento King after the laughable Nellie Ball trade for sure thing Point Forward Billy Owens. Nelson's keen eye for legitimate NBA talent and leadership convinced him that Richmond was expendable and Owens was the next Magic Johnson. Until he changed his mind or Owens had an attitude problem or a drug addiction or a sex life or something he could be blamed for. Whatever. Effectively, Nelson cashed in the 2 years of Run TMC mystique to draft Owens and Richmond went on to be a great player on a perennial playoff team up Highway 80.

And then it all fell apart in Oakland, before Chris Webber ever made an All Star game.
Before Chris Gatling made the All Star game as a Dallas Maverick in 1997.... hold on ....

1996-7 Took a Vacation (DNC)

Oh, I guess there was that brief time in New York when Nellie proved, convincingly, he didn't have what it takes for the real big time. He needs just enough lesser market cover for his bluffer's bullshit to eke out his special brand of high volume mediocrity or it can't take the brief appearance of quality over a concentrated, cash-in-able period of observation.

New York Knicks (1995-1996)
1996 - Patrick Ewing. He and Nelson were real pals.

Dallas Mavericks (1997-2005)
1998 - none
1999 - none
2000 - Michael Finley
2001 - Michael Finley
2002 - Steve Nash & Dirk Nowitzki
2003 - Nash & Nowitzki
2004 - Just Dirk. Where'd Nash go?
2005 - Nowitzki

Josh Howard never made the All Star game while Nelson coached him.

Nellie's own son, the real brains of the Dallas executive operation, Donnie Nelson, continues to locate and draft incredible international talent like Dirk Nowitzki and Rodrigue Beaubois (and he drafted Steve Nash while working for Phoenix, then brought him to Dallas) in spite of his father's basic insanity/general drunkenness. I'd be curious to hear someone blame the Nash departure on Donnie, the guy who loved him and did everything in his power to get him on TWO of his teams and, the first time, despite having two elite point guards (Jason Kidd and Kevin Johnson) already clogging the rotation in front of him! Once upon a time, Chris Mullin ran a much smaller game of deep scouting success and found Andris Biedrins in Latvia, Monta Ellis in a Mississippi high school.

Michael Finley would go on to win championships with Gregg Popovich in San Antonio after Mark Cuban exercised the one time amnesty provision and waived Finley before a new CBA took full effect.

What will the league really remember from Nellie's Dallas tenure?

Hack-a-Shaq. Period.

He broke up a championship caliber duo of Hall of Famers and, per the Nelson custom, got himself wrapped up in another epic after-the-fact finger-pointing post mortem with Mark Cuban that exactly mirrors his breakup with Chris Cohan and the Golden State after the Webber fiasco he created. Then, he eviscerated his own system and his own hand-picked successor, Avery Johson, with a rag tag bunch of streaky scorers after a miracle collapse by the Clippers and an empty winning streak against patsies by the 2006-07 Warriors We Believe! team. Now that short term, HEAVILY leveraged slogan is also dead. He's got a $6 million contract as we speak, even still, and manipulated the offseason two years running after convincing the team to trade the single most important player from an incredible team effort for the magical end of the season run in 2007, Jason Richardson, for Brandan Wright practically as soon as the door on the Utah series closed.  He spent that and every offseason since looking to get paid or stay paid instead of looking to build upon that mostly empty "success" and stay relevant.  The roster is now only a Monta Ellis/Andris Biedrins trade away from total annihilation. And of course, not a single All Star in Golden State since 1994 and the best bet looks like the severely overhyped pretty boy shooter-not-point-guard, Stephen Curry. Robert Rowell had an awkward Fist Bump for Larry Riley the moment that marketing gimmick fell in his lap.

http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/06/robert-rowell-revival-clipping-and.html

More saccharin for the Chardonnay set.

Nellie Ball is not just about the on court work. He has consistently and abusively destroyed franchises at every stop as his ego and thirst for money and power before every other thing that matters to the teams that really win- and really last- takes over and eats everything in sight. When he leaves town, the teams in his wake are a crumbling shambles. Milwaukee and Golden State both suffered as the most pathetic franchises in the league after Nelson demolished them. He built nothing that would or could last. Every decision was made to serve his hallmark qualities: expedience and opportunism. The added myth is, of course, that Nelson is a "gambler." That's no joke. He's frittered away years of basketball stability and legitimate team building at the Big Poker Pot in his mind. His addictive thirst for action, any action, overrides strong team foundation development time and time again. Robert Rowell apparently enjoys that circus atmosphere and believes he can control it.  Larry Riley was so terrified of being connected to the Old Drunk Let-it-Ride codger, he started issuing public statements about how he's his own man and Don Nelson is not the GM of this team. Or, perhaps an even more frightening prospect as Nelson angles for some executive role with the team once his coaching tenure runs out: Riley may have been forced to cover up just how involved Nelson actually is. Don Nelson has NEVER taken a backseat on personnel decisions. And he has propped up favorites for positions of power at every prior stop. Riley is imminently fallible as a Nellie Ball product. Once the Twinkie filling leaves town for Maui, these cheap sponge cakes have a knack for collapsing.

That's Nellie Ball.

Nelson's strongest defenders today- a dying breed- have finally resorted to arguing for his position as a talent scout. No other role seems safe for this tired circus act, no other redeeming skill stands as a remotely controllable use of whatever game knowledge he can still be entrusted to recall and employ.

In short, Don Nelson is now fully acknowledged as a Has Been and a Must Go.
Only the desperate Hangers-On and, really, only his poker buddies (Lacob included) are interested in winding him up and watching him go over scotch and cigars for this one last ride. Lacob desperately overbid on the Cohan mess by $100 milion because he has everything riding on redeeming his friend Robert Rowell's vision and corporate infrastructure, which includes the Myth of Don Nelson's Greatness and the gimmicky shell game empty slogans and annually revised rosters with promises that this year, THIS year, is the year. We promise. Or maybe wait until next year. Again.

Nelson has to go. Immediately. Anyone desperately begging for an undeserved, sappy aw-shucks mosey off into some Hollywood backdrop sunset can take their gimmicks and talk point condescension and shove it where even Peter Guber's Hollywood sun don't shine.

Nellie, you've done enough.
The only graceful departure is full retirement and total departure from the entire franchise.

I'm no gambler but on this I'll bet: You don't have it in you.

The All Robert Rowell Team vs. the All Robert Rowell Team

2010-09-16T15:25:00.000-07:00

When Chris Mullin started to get some positive reviews of his work following the miracle 2007 Clippers tank and Jason Richardson second half explosion, Robert Rowell grabbed the mic to say "I've been here for years!" On that note, another personal favorite from The Weasel. Here's Tim Kawakami asking the Shit Head about the Monta Ellis suspension that wrecked a full season and signaled the Mullin ouster once Nellie smelled the Rowell power play in progress:

-Q: Where does the $3M go? Does it come off the salary cap?
-ROWELL: It doesn’t come off the salary cap. It’s a suspension of the player and it actually will be a reduction in his salary for this season. It still sits on our cap for the year.
-Q: What will you do with the $3M?
-ROWELL: I can tell you this: Our season ticket-holders will benefit from the entire amount next season in their renewals.
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2008/10/11/robert-rowell-q-and-a-on-monta-ellis-30-game-suspension/

No dipshit, that money goes to charity. I'm allowed to get that wrong. You, you lying fuck, are not.

Anyway, here's a little lineup diagram of Rowell's prized signings and preferred players stacked up against the guys he's sent packing lately. Just because it's September 16th and Don Nelson is still the Head Coach even though Rowell could do whatever he wanted to about that. Right now. Except Joe and Kirk Lacob love the fat bastard. Oh yeah, the lineups:

Rowell Hates
Baron Davis
Jason Richardson
Anthony Morrow
Anthony Randolph
Andris Biedrins

Rowell Loves
Jeremy Lin
Stephen Jackson
Corey Maggette
David Lee
Mikki Moore

Rating GQ Curry's Summer Basketball Work, in a word

2010-09-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

or manipulated referent acronym:

FIBAR

_

Stephen Curry Sucks...

2010-09-07T12:26:00.000-07:00

in the FIBA Championship in Turkey so far.
Like, a lot.

And he's a cocky little bitch who just insulted the entire nation of Angola with his idiotic behind the backing and showboating in a 50 point blowout USA win in between bricked three point chucks in lieu of relevant point guard play.

He was guaranteed a roster spot for being a pretty mouth and a well behaved young man. Oh, and cuz he can shoot real good:

http://turkey2010.fiba.com/pages/eng/fe/10/fwcm/team/p/eid/4728/rid//sid/4728/tid/379/profile.html

Oops. Now he's a punk ass bitch AND a shitty shooter. And we won't discuss his laugable "point" guard work.

And yet the free pass hype parade marches on...

GQ Curry's Final Pre-FIBA Championship Summer Stats

2010-08-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

(7 games total):
20/50 FG (.400)
7.9 PPG
10/30 3PT (.333)
5/6 FT (.833)
1.4 REB
.86 AST / 2.14 TO
1.0 STL
1.7 PF
13 MPG

And his numbers not including the first two intersquad exhibition games (last 5 games):
12/29 FG (.414)
5.4 PPG
3/13 3PT (.231)
0 FT
.4 REB (none since China game in NYC)
1.00/1.60 AST/TO [.50/2.00 AST/TO since leaving NYC]
1.4 STL
1.4 PF
10:30 MPG

Worst FIBA Year Ever and GQ Curry STILL Can't Hang

2010-08-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I called a big game for Stephen Curry vs. Spain- the little shit has a lot to prove to back up the idiotic hype on him- but he failed miserably. Really let me down and made me look foolish for predicting any sort of success against a pretty soft guard core. In return for this personal affront, I'll retaliate by angrily and vindictively posting his actual stats from all of his terrible play this summer. Because I'm such a hate-ah.

These numbers really don't do him justice. He's looked completely out of place, mistake-prone, chuck-happy, and defense/rebound-phobic among even the B and C line of real USA Basketballers in this, perhaps the weakest international competition in the history of FIBA basketball. But homerz gonna home, and some of these shooting numbers after two garbage time gifts vs. Lithuania and a quick yank from the Spain game before he could continue chucking moronically should help their cause while they skip all of these games and hope no one will talk about how their annual New Centerpiece of Greatness is falling flat on his face.

You're welcome, Kirk.

Curry's numbers this summer, including the two intersquad exhibition games in New York:

18/40 FG (.450)
8.5 PPG
10/26 3PT (.385)
5/6 FT (.833)
1.7 REB
1 AST / 1.83 TO
.83 STL
1.5 PF
12:26 MPG

And his numbers NOT including those two intersquad chuck fests
(ONE total assist and SEVEN total turnovers, 8/19 overall FG, 7/17 from 3 in about 19 MPG in those two, by the way- CHUCKER):

10/21 FG (.476)
5.75 PPG
3/9 3PT (.333)
0 FT
.5 REB (none since China game in NYC)
1.25/1 AST/TO... but .67/1.33 AST/TO since leaving NYC
Point guard my ass. He makes more shitty passes than anyone on the team and the offense just dies when he "runs point" for USA. If the +/- stats were available to the general public on these games, it wouldn't be pretty for li'l GQ.
And Westbrook and Gordon would look simply incredible.
1.25 STL
1 PF
9:07 MPG

Thank god for free roster spots via Carolina connections and generally idiotic league-wide super hype on a glorified 6th man skillset. His ankle is 100% fine. He was already too slow to keep up with legit point guard speed and he was already to skinny to hang with legit NBA size/strength/toughness but Ricky Rubio and co. have simply demolished the Golden Boy this summer despite USA basketball's best attempts to protect and coddle the little spoiled brat.

Folks, he's an old man among sophomores now and he's played international ball before and is a well-traveled legacy brat who supposedly makes love to pressure. Or at least a shooting specialist off the bench at 13th man. Hitting three pointers at .333 thus far against international competition. Breathtaking. He's supposed to be your franchise savior, ready to lead a team to the playoffs in the West this season if only the roster were strong enough around him, right Homers?

But roll out those excuses...

What Does Kirk Lacob Know About Basketball?

2010-08-21T10:43:00.000-07:00

Joe Lacob's son Kirk has apparently been shadowing his father in official Warriors meetings lately, including a meet and greet with associates and San Jose Mercury writer Tim Kawakami before the excellent and revealing three part interview you can find starting here:

http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2010/08/17/joe-lacob-interview-part-1-on-finalizing-the-buying-group-and-on-rowell-and-a-possible-backlash-if-theres-no-instant-housecleaning/

In the interview, Father Lacob is quick to assert his son's Peninsula Point Guard Prowess against recent Kirk-pal signing, Jeremy Lin (currently ranked as the 15th best starting PG in the West in my expert rankings, below). But Li'l Lacob has an even more interesting basketball background than that, as it turns out. Kirk Lacob was recently a PR Intern for the Boston Celtics. Joe Lacob is of course still a, what, 10% owner of the Celtics? Let us know when you get that moved, JoJo. But to the man of the hour: Kirk is a burgeoning young captain of industry in the textbook rental business (Chegg.com) and he's just waiting for an opportunity to show the world what he can do on the big business stage.

Like, say, in a significant management role with his new family asset, YOUR Golden State Warriors.

What are your thoughts on motion offense, son?

Clueless

2010-08-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

Fuck.

Peter Guber is a Lakers Fan and Other NBA Team Sales Business

2010-08-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

Per Warriors PR Guy Dan Martinez's cogent suggestion, I'm running this entry on Peter Guber's Lakers passion and general LA Sports fixation, Joe Lacob's potential Anaheim or Las Vegas entry, and leaguewide team sales trend in a supposedly down economic time for CBA negotiations.

Lacob, the supposed basketball "brains" of this operation, tried to buy the LA Dodgers with Goober not too long ago. That failure (not Goober's first Rodeo Failure!) resulted in the uncomfortable photo you see in the upper left hand corner of this page. Until Goober the Fox News correspondent and Tony Robbins mentor weirdo removes it like the Warriors removed the Chris Webber Debut (2008) press skin not too long ago.

Oh yeah, about Dan Martinez: he's the PR guy who magically ascended as soon as ONLY Ray Ridder's Flunkster Dude work was outed in the fan forums. And he's not getting fired under the "new" ownership because he's working the new media appendages so well, apparently. Buy your Jeremy Lin jersey today before the new Bay Bridge falls over again.

Anyway, some bits on general NBA sales trends and etc.:

Tim Kawakami suggested via Twitter that the Magic Johnson Pistons (Las Vegas?) interest means he's out on the Warriors. Johnson had been linked to Mark Mastrov, the shell bid cover up for Cohan's even BETTER friend, Joe Lacob, and his years-long inside track on buying and possibly relocating the Warriors to Vegas or Anaheim once league approval went through.

Las Vegas has SOME NBA team under contract already so the reactionary "no, not THAT Mandalay, moron!" talk about Vegas being an unlikely NBA market/destination is over and done with. As quickly as Dan Martinez, Howard Kushlan, and co. dreamed it up. Some have said the Warriors are the most likely candidate for that move under Guber and Lacob. This was mostly in relation to Guber's extensive Las Vegas minor league ties (NHL and MLB). His fervent and frequent failed bids on LA pro teams in every sport is a glaring red flag to Warriors fans operating under any semblance of the Bill Simmons localist/religious fan passion model. And it's an even more alarming warning sign to any fan of winning basketball. NellieBall slop is clearly the agenda in Lacob-Goober Land. Score score score, run run run, lose lose lose. As long as you were entertained! Vegas or Disneyland obviously fit his openly broadcast entertainment-dollar-first business philosophy. Joe Lacob, on the other hand, really doesn't seem to care WHAT he owns as long as he owns something. Right now. Impatience is not a virtue. He tried to buy his hometown Dodgers with Guber the Hollywood Douche Bag not so long ago. He just wants to vastly overpay and presumably to take a shot at the next Big Market (international). I freely and honestly acknowledge that this Vegas Warriors talk has no on-the-record support to this point so don't get up in arms about that. But Vegas is the top entertainment destination city in play for a Pacific Rim market team after..... Disneyland. Oh wait. Anaheim.

We'd ALL like to know which mystery team is under contract with Vegas, either way. I think it's the Pistons.
And I think a Chinese bid will win a team very soon if it has not already.

It's not surprising but at least a little weird that some new mystery investors are involved with George Postolos on the Pistons vs. Magic Johnsons's desire to get in on a team- any team- NOW in this CBA-crippling season of team sales. I think the Vegas team gets set by New Year's and it's looking like the NBA is handing out easy credit to ambiguous and unformed ownership "groups" left and right while bad owners, per the reports, wait their turn to bail out and sell.

More on Guber's Hollywood Scheisterism:

No idea why we haven't talked about this yet. Well, ONE idea. But this guy tried to buy FOUR different pro LA teams (Lakers, Ducks, Kings, Dodgers- with Lacob the LA guy on the last one) and has weird ideas about de-localizing "location-based entertainment" (that means sports, sports fans). He was also an LA-established "hit man" of sorts for the MASSIVELY OVERPAID Japanese Sony entry into the US film industry. Familiar refrain- whatever happened to that mysterious "Chinese" investment group on the Warriors?

We're dollar signs to this weasel. Period. Same as it ever was.
No interest in winning, only in earning.

There's a book written about his reign of terror/destruction at Sony Pictures. Check out the first two pages and his bit on stealing an Oscar statuette for photo ops of himself to take credit for work on films he was contractually banned from the set of: http://bit.ly/9m0xrE

http://www.sportsbusinessjournal.com/article/37245
http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jul/15/sports/la-sp-warriors-peter-guber-20100716

Western Conference Positional Starter Rankings Preview

2010-08-11T19:17:00.000-07:00

These rankings are meticulously, arduously calculated by my freaking brainjuice. Don't ask for an explanation. You couldn't possibly comprehend the depth of my basketball intellect or the clear sobriety of my reason.

Point Guard
1. Steve Nash
2. Chris Paul (what a fucker, right?)
3. Deron Williams
4. Jason Kidd
5. Russell Westbrook
6. Tyreke Evans (I guess he's sort of a point guard)
7. Chauncey Billups
8. Aaron Brooks
9. Baron Davis. Is fat.
10. Johnny Flynn
11. Derek Fisher
12. Andre Miller
13. George Hill
14. Mike Conley
15. Jeremy Lin

Shooting Guard
1. Kobe Bryant
2. Brandon Roy
3. Monta Ellis
4. Jason Richardson
5. Kevin Martin
6. Manu Ginobili
7. Eric Gordon (SMOKIN in int'l ball)
8. Wesley Matthews
9. James Harden
10. Marcus Thornton
11. Arron Afflalo
12. Jason Terry
13. OJ Mayo
14. Corey Brewer
15. Francisco Garcia

Small Forward
1. Kevin Durant
2. Carmelo Anthony
3. Rudy Gay
4. Trevor Ariza
5. Grant Hill
6. Ron Artest
7. Richard Jefferson
8. Caron Butler
9. Shane Battier
10. Nic Batum (looking great in int'l play)
11. Omri Casspi (also great int'l this summer- Sac using him properly?)
12. Gordon Hayward
13. Jared Dudley (non-starter but awesome and cheap taboot)
14. Ryan Gomes/Al-Farouq Aminu
15. Wesley Johnson

Power Forward
1. Pau Gasol
2. Dirk Nowitzki (I guess he's a power forward)
3. Tim Duncan
4. Blake Griffin
5. Zach Randolph (Got a weird feeling he'll be incredible this year)
6. David West
7. LaMarcus Aldridge
8. Al Jefferson
9. Luis Scola
10. Kevin Love
11. Carl Landry
12. Jeff Green
13. Hedo Turkoglu
14. Al Harrington
15. David Lee

Center
1. Greg Oden
2. DeMarcus Cousins
3. Chris Kaman
4. Andrew Bynum
5. Marc Gasol
6. Robin Lopez
7. Andris Biedrins (um... if he's still in the Western Conference anyway)
8. Brendan Haywood
9. Nene
10. Yao Ming
11. Mehmet Okur
12. Emeka Okafor
13. Darko Milicic
14. Nenad Krstic
15. Antonio McDyess

Larry Ellison Still In The Game??? We Believe!!!

2010-08-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

News breaking that at least one Warriors minority owner has already told Joe Lacob he's not interested in joining the new ownership group. His precise criticism: "Lacob will run it like a corporation." The former minority owner allegedly considers the investment unwise relative to other, presumably similar, minority NBA team ownership opportunities.

The whole zero hour nobody-you'd-ever-heard-of "winning" bid business and hasty, snarky anti-Ellison smearing suggests Cohan's PR tentacles (Rowell, Dan Martinez, Ray Ridder, etc.) are still firing on all cylinders through the transition. The news of Lacob having a personal relationship with Cohan and of two previous deal back-outs with Ellison paints an ugly picture as some apparently pre-ordained record price tag is magically met (and now predictably struggled to actually be paid) after the entire NBA-connected world was positive Ellison's bid was highest. Apparently the minority owners are not happy with how they were done on this. Doubt they have the guts to challenge the "sale" in any way though, especially not if they can get in on another team and San Francisco or San Jose with Ellison. And Galatioto seems unlikely to suffer any major penalty for anything. But the whole deal stinks and the sudden media and contract lock down in "Oakland" (Palo Alto, Hollywood, China) starts to stink even worse.
Know what that all means?

That means one "bidder" didn't have to bid like the rest did.
That means the process was illegitimate.
That means the purchase agreement may not be valid due to collusion, etc.
That means we Warriors fans might still have a shot at Ellison and real change.

Keep Hope Alive.
We Believe!

Cohan Conundrum: Specters of Incompetence

2010-08-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

Same PR dweebs still trying to prop up bullshit management moves like letting all the bench and specialists walk for no good reason, WAY overpaying for the right to overpay David Lee, signing a gimmick jersey sales guy like Jeremy Lin, etc. Meanwhile, the Aussie PR firm guys and local dipshits working on the new website denigrate anyone with a rational criticism of Lacob-Rowell movement. Apparently, per their snark, they knew the team was being sold to Lacob months ago, and thus that their jobs were safe as hell. Logo redesign was part of pre-sale PR campaign and media freeze out is still in full effect. Only hand-picked TeamSpeak-friendly media allowed to talk to anyone in the organization, JUST LIKE COHAN. Just a different phone number to call to get blacklist treatment now. Dan Martinez, Ray Ridder, Robert Rowell, et al.

This is a problem:
If the team's worst public contact points and procedures are the same for the Fox News Hollywood Wannabe ownership as they were for Dipshit, when do I get to retire dammit?!?!

Funniest talk point fail of the Lacob-Goober ownership preview: WE NEED A SMALL FORWARD! Overplaying that phantom "need" (uh... Richardson, Barnes, Pietrus, Jackson, Maggette, Azubuike, Morrow, Reggie Williams... Anthony Randolph?) was a very effective distraction for the yokels, who refuse to acknowledge the glaring weaknesses of everything else about the team. Beautiful idiocy so far. Just fucking beautiful. I'm the first to note the flaws of any of these guys. But the "dime a dozen" wing player talk point response to the latest failure to achieve maximum fantasy league contentment with big money 2/3 signings (Ellis on the way) is characteristic of the guys staying on with their pal/seat buddy Lacob-the-Walking-MaxAnte-Sucker. Bargain basement shopping in general plus the customary overhyped excessive contract to a guy like David Lee (Maggette and/or Antawn Jamison all over again) all looks like a carbon copy of Robert Rowell or Garry St. Jean's finest hours. Really?! THIS is our salvation?!

Oh yeah and they paid Dorell Wright over $1 million more than Tolliver got and are paying Charlie Bell more than Anthony Morrow got. Don't dislike Wright, in theory. Won't overhype him now like the rest, though, and he's no major find worth crowing about while major difference makers like Wes Matthews and Ronnie Brewer don't even pick up the phone for the Warriors' calls. Want to laugh at Utah for letting those folks go? Go ahead. I dare you. They finish ahead of the Warriors in the standings yet again this season, count on it, while the douche bag snark Warriors PR team talks about David Lee's.... passing skills? If and when supposed talent scouting guru Travis Schlenk is named an assistant coach with John Murray (the dynamite strength and conditioning coach for the most injured team in the world and head practice drill runner) and even Larry Riley's brother, you can all come to me with your apologies first. I'll be waiting. And holy christ, if some triangle knock off like Brian Shaw is the pick and Lacob called in on the Cleveland hire to block it.... Buddha help us all. Holy shit what a nightmare that would be.

Lacob can't have much left over after his big overpay on the team and now he's directing the release of great role players like Morrow and useful bench guys like Tolliver, Watson. Because they're too expensive, apparently. That's the tone you want to set in the wake of your friend Cohan's collusive cash in. Precisely the tone: we're cheap bastards who expect you to lap up PR speak and buy Jeremy Lin jerseys and ask no questions. Brilliant "basketball" minds in there.

This refrain should sound VERY familiar to lifelong Warriors fans (Go San Jose Kings!):
Patience. Wait until NEXT year! Just look at all these SWEET trade assets we've stockpiled!

The Jason Richardson TPE and Speedy Claxton say hello.

I always liked Lee when he was cheap and before he cashed in on his max production while being 100% free to sign for any decent team wisely refusing to overpay and fall all over itself to offer a 6th year on second tier guys. Now he looks like a completely crippling disaster of a Nellie Ball Center signing with the customary "hey he was an All Star that one time!" talk point instantly attached to "he REALLY wanted to play in Oakland!" self-delusion we haven't heard since the Baron Davis trade, which took years to pay off, did not until Mullin got Nelson off the beach, and cratered as soon as Rowell and Nelson (Lacob's seeming incumbents) conspired against Mullin out of jealousy.... and was approximately 450 million times smarter and more relevant to winning basketball games than this one was despite my documented hatred of Baron Davis' fat lazy contract pushing Hollywood chucking. Mullin smelling like a fucking rose still despite all the best snark efforts of Lacob and co. to date.

Raises the interesting question: when will Chris Mullin's jersey be retired at "Oracle" if the same assholes who bagged him are in cahoots with the "new" ownership that was so quick to bash Larry Ellison the Loser as soon as their back room deal went through?

Uh huh. Business as usual in Oakland. Business as fucking usual.
Oh wait. I guess the business is in Palo Alto now. Or Hollywood.

Lee's contract year was pretty good though, in fairness.

So is Cohan one of the "new" ownership's minority owners?
Looks, indeed, like No Sale.

Cohan Lives.

2010-08-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

When the hell is this sale going through?
I'm in semi-limbo on the site kill.

Definitely a Kings fan until the lockout.

These dipshit douche bag Fox News Scientologist wannabe Goober-Lackey freaks are worse than Cohan. Only an agenda-freak imbecile and/or collusive Shit-Owner (see: shitwing, Nellie Ball application thereof, et al) would pay a record price for the Cohan outhouse under those shady bid-rush circumstances. They shot their wad and their bankbook on the purchase just like Cohan did way back when. Par. Whatever they meant to prove, they... did.

When I was in Dallas for All-Star Weekend, I asked an extremely wealthy person the following question: "Why haven't you bought an NBA team yet?"

His answer: "Because they're still overvalued. Anyone who buys in right now is doing it for ego only. That's why the league grabbed the Russian's [Mikhail Prokhorov's] money [for the New Jersey Nets] so quickly. He has a big ego and deep pockets, and he didn't know any better. He just wanted in. The pool of American buyers who fit that mold has dwindled. Look at [Oracle CEO] Larry Ellison. Five years ago, he would have jumped on the Warriors like Cuban jumped on the Mavericks. Now he's being much more cautious. He doesn't think they're worth more than $325 [million] and they aren't. Not with the current revenue system, not without a new arena, and not with a lockout coming. It's a dumb investment."

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100224

And congratulations on being an egregious pander market, Jeremy Lin investment crowd.

Cue Jared Cowley and the associated moron snarks.
Back to the Great Outdoors.

PS, written brilliant brilliant bits for publication in the real world during my hiatus. Life is beautiful. Also got a puppy and new joint checking account with the future-wifey. Considering new hair style.

As you were.

Looks Like the End for Cohan....

2010-07-15T09:54:00.001-07:00

If it ain't Ellison, I ain't interested.
Looks like I'm going to need a new team now...

Mastrov = CC Out.

2010-07-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

A while back I announced my impending retirement from Warriors basketball:

My Retirement Announcement...

As soon as Andris Biedrins and/or Monta Ellis are traded, I'm quitting the Warriors for good.

I'll consider returning if Larry Ellison or someone else purchases the team (under no circumstances will I return if the worthless minority owners purchase full stake). But I don't see that happening any time soon with the Real Cohan being a stupid prick about the sale price.

I've seen enough "Wait until NEXT next year- THIS is our future core for realsies this time!" PR campaigns in this life.

This blog, my twitter account, and all fan forum participation will cease upon the inevitable trade(s).

Signed,
CC

I suppose there is a solid keep-me-around possibility on the table now that the minority owners joined up with Larry Ellison. And I revised the Ellis/Biedrins trade trigger to allow some faith retention in the event of a major talent acquisition (Andre Iguodala is interesting, for example).

But if the new owner is Mark Mastrov, I'm out. That shit head is the same as Cohan. And his right hand man Jim Rowley is a fucking Robert Rowell-grade fucktard. Pass:

"It comes down to how you measure a successful franchise," Rowley said. "They may not translate well on the court, but they've put together a good entertainment package at the game and they've made a lot of money."

http://www.insidebayarea.com/business/ci_14969302

Money in their pockets, gimmicks on their court, many losses in our future. No league cred whatsoever. And no, Magic Johnson the "basketball mind" is not league cred. But I'm sure he and Mastrov have some tycoon-wife Country Club fundraising luncheon event connections. Maybe they even sat next to each other once.

Mastrov and Rowley are in on all the crappy logo and crappy offseason moves if they're the buyers and they're keeping Larry Riley around per all info to date. Looks like I'm about to finally write that fucking book. Maybe I'll take a nice trip.

If it's Larry Ellison and he ponied up big money after all, egg on my face.

Every single player you can have for all or part of a $2.6 million TPE. I'm pretty sure.

2010-07-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

Feast your eyes:

Maurice Evans, Jose Barea, Greg Buckner, Avery Bradley, Tony Gaffney, Oliver Lafayette, Semih Erden, Derrick Brown, Jawad Williams, Danny Green, Greg Buckner, Renaldo Balkman, Coby Karl, Brian Butch, Alexander Johnson, Mike Harris, Jermaine Taylor, Dahntay Jones, Brandon Rush, Solomon Jones, Josh McRoberts, Hamed Haddadi, Darnell Jackson, Chris Douglas-Roberts, Ryan Hollins, Wayne Ellington, Greg Stiesma, Quinton Ross, Ben Uzoh, Brian Zoubek, Bill Walker, Jason Smith, Jodie Meeks, Dwayne Jones, Taylor Griffin, Alonzo Gee, Garrett Temple, Marco Belinelli, Othyus Jeffries, Cartier Martin, Cedric Jackson

Anthony Morrow Dumped for Zip: The Healing Process Ends

2010-07-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

The Warriors added a third top 30 fantasy league guy for $80 million after dumping off Randolph, Turiaf, and Azubuike for the privilege of overpaying worse than they did on Maggette. And then they fed us some bullshit about Dorell Wright NOT being nothing more than a super stretch 4 for the ongoing Don Nelson Death March. Fabulous help from the super fan forum spamming jackasses on that one.

And now they ditched a top 3 point shooter, great positional rebounder, and vastly improved and improving young 2 guard for.... the always fabulous and always well-utilized Traded Player Exception (Only $2.6 million because Morrow is BYC). Jason Richardson's unused $10 million remainder TPE says hello. CJ Watson and Anthony Tolliver sure to be returning to the team next to keep the great Travis Schlenk scouting legacy in tact and the Anthony quotient satisfactory with the savings on letting Morrow go for nothing.

Bob Fitzgerald has already begun to shit talk Anthony Morrow and hype the fuck out of Reggie Williams. In response to questions about Anthony Morrow, Bob Fitzgerald rattles off empty team talk points on Dorell Wright. Hopeless fucking imbeciles. Take your ad revenue and Club 200 moron cash and shove it up your asses.

Fuck you.
No sale.

Corey Maggette Dumped for Zip: The Healing Process Begins

2010-06-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

Reports coming in that Maggette is gone to Milwaukee for expiring stiff Dan Gadzuric and the semi-useful but heinously overpaid Charlie Bell. But Bell expires a year before Maggette would have so net positive there. Rest assured, if there was EVER a market for Maggette, Milwaukee GM John Hammond is about to work it over. But for those of us stuck under Don Nelson, Robert Rowell, and co. as the team does not sell: dance a jig.

Today was a good day.

In Memory of Bay Area Sports Legend, Cohan Wikipedia/ThoughtPolice Still Hard at Work

2010-04-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

Franklin Mieuli passed away today. The man was a Bay Area sports legend and the only owner of a California Warriors Championship team. Today marks the true end of a more innocent, less depressing era in national pastime history.

Here's the SFGate write-up:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/04/25/MN9T1D4S4J.DTL&tsp=1

If you've been at sporting events in the Bay Area in the last 40 years, you've probably seen Franklin. He was the dude in The Hat.

Mr. Mieuli's personal mark was made in countless unknowable ways and he had a variety of business interests both in and out of sports. His family owned Navlet's Nursery. But his public life and image were made with the Warriors, first and foremost. If you were lucky, you had some connection to him and his family but, as a Warriors fan, you really didn't need much more than what he gave you on the court. There was no mistaking what he cared about and what he pursued as an owner, and we all know he cared LEGITIMATELY about fan voices. Everyone in the world knows he cared completely about team success regardless of personal profit.

No hyperbole whatsoever here: Warriors Culture has lost a vital soul.

Although the cult of Franklin surely risks some look-the-other-way fancy, at bottom, you'll never find another pro sports owner who revels in joyful absurdity and craps on Big Lie profiteering like Franklin did. The only way to properly remember the man who spent on a champion (mythology in full force now!) for us fans is to continue rallying for the ouster of the profiteering snake oil salesmen wrecking Franklin's fan experience and ours for the last 16+ years. I can't think of a better way to honor his idiosyncratic, infectious style, passion for life, and sheer disregard for the Rules of the Game in corporate stoogery (rich and successful as he was) than to continue tracking the lunatic paranoia of the current Warriors ownership. I mean this in all sincerity.

To that end, Franklin, we miss you terribly already and we hope we get another one like you soon.
Thanks for everything, rest easy. We got this one.

On to the polar opposite ownership culture that still plagues the Warriors:

I've never written anything on Wikipedia, though I understand anyone can. But others have tried to write the People's History of the Golden State Warriors to no avail as evidenced by VERY diligent policing of the Chris Cohan wikipedia page. http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Chris_Cohan&oldid=357751292

I posted the old version of the page not too long ago:
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2010/03/chris-cohan-wikipedia-scandal.html

In the last few days, someone tried to re-do the page again and was immediately shot down. This is hysterical bull shit and of course traces back to Flunkster Dude and the fan forum spammers and lurkers still monitoring fan activity as Cohan does NOT sell the team.

So for your viewing pleasure, the recent edits to the still-milquetoast Cohan wikipedia (thin) skin:

1. Christopher J. Cohan is the soon to be EX-owner of the Golden State Warriors NBA. He assumed control of the team in 1995 and has ran the franchise very poorly by taking devoted hard working fans money and in return giving them 13 years of losing seasons and 1 playoff apperance.

2. Christopher J. Cohan is the soon to be EX-owner of the Golden State Warriors NBA. He assumed control of the team in 1995 and has ran the franchise very poorly by taking devoted hard working fans money and in return giving them 13 years of pain and suffering and 1 playoff apperance the 2007 WE BELIEVE team

3. Cohan is frequently listed as one of the worst owners in professional sports.

4. Cohan is frequently listed as one of the worst owners in professional sports and most hated by warrior fans

And the Wiki-Cop response: 15:49, 25 April 2010 Zagalejo (talk | contribs) (1,429 bytes) (just wait until he gets fired (if he gets fired))

All gone.

Strange that our Beloved Owner passes on the same day and I happen to stroll by the Cohan wiki-page. But this is our life as Warriors fans. Deep sadness, inexplicable self-immolation and desperate searching for an answer to the Angel of Death's reign of terror, and ridiculous, possibly inappropriate melding of past pleasure with present agony. There's a Freud joke in here somewhere. Smarter/Smarmier folks can make it. But I'm not ashamed in the least bit. It all connects and Franklin's legacy as a public figure prepared the way for all of this. This is Warriors basketball. It's, apparently, inherently flawed.

Most of us never knew Franklin personally like we'll never know Cohan personally. So in the economy of fandom, we get certain rights to represent our version of these guys and they know they assume the risks attending that wink-nod game with a vastly anonymous fanbase. We rely on them for our quasi-religious/lethargic free time occupants. They rely on us for their... yachts? There are rules in this fan-team economy and Cohan has shit all over all of them.

Mieuli would have let you touch the championship trophy.
The NBA won't even let Cohan into the same room as the trophy.

Cohan won't let you explain the history of his Warriors ownership honestly.
Mieuli would let you say any damn thing you wanted to to his FACE and then he'd buy you another round.

The world lost a trickster and a joker. It sucks.
Keep his spirit alive. Don't be a pansy-ass douche bag.
If you can possibly help it.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Mieuli. Rest in Peace.
Thanks for everything.

Warriors PR Team Asks: "Who Wants to be a Player in 2010 Free Agency?"

2010-04-24T11:42:00.000-07:00

Restricted Free Agents:
GUARDS
Wil Bynum
Anthony Morrow
CJ Watson
Kyle Lowry
Jordan Farmar
Mario Chalmers
Roko Ukic
Chris Douglas-Roberts
JJ Redick
Patrick Mills
Sergio Rodriguez
Ronnie Brewer
Wesley Matthews

FORWARDS
Josh Childress
Tyrus Thomas
Linas Kleiza
Carl Landry
Luis Scola
Pops Mensah-Bonsu
Rudy Gay

CENTERS
Joel Anthony
Nathan Jawai
Josh Boone
Hilton Armstrong
John Brockman
Kyrylo Fesenko

Unrestricted Free Agents
GUARDS
Joe Johnson
Ray Allen
Eddie House
Raja Bell
Raymond Felton
Jannero Pargo
John Salmons
JJ Barea
Quinton Ross
Kelenna Azubuike?
Speedy Claxton!
Acie Law!
Tracy McGrady
TJ Ford
Earl Watson
Luther Head
Sebastian Telfair
Steve Novak
Shannon Brown
Derek Fisher
Marcus Williams!
Carlos Arroyo
Dwyane Wade
Luke Ridnour
Rafer Alston
Bobby Brown
Devin Brown
Chris Duhon
Larry Hughes
Nate Robinson
Shaun Livingston
Steve Blake
Quincy Douby
Kyle Korver
Mike Miller

FORWARDS
Paul Pierce
Shelden Williams
Lebron James
Leon Powe
Drew Gooden
Josh Howard
Dirk Nowitzki
Kenyon Martin
Chris Wilcox
Devean George!
Rasual Butler
Ricky Davis
Craig Smith
Josh Powell!
Udonis Haslem
Quentin Richardson
Dorrell Wright
Joe Alexander!
Kurt Thomas
Hakim Warrick
Ike Diogu!
Peja Stojakovic
Al Harrington
David Lee
Matt Barnes
Rodney Carney
Jason Kapono
Louis Amundson!
Channing Frye
Grant Hill
Travis Outlaw
Matt Bonner
Richard Jefferson
Ian Mahinmi
Chris Bosh
Amir Johnson
Antoine Wright
Carlos Boozer

CENTERS
Tyson Chandler
Nazr Mohammed
Aaron Gray
Brad Miller
Zydrunas Ilgauskas
SHAQ!!!!!
Kwame Brown
Ben Wallace
Mikki Moore!
Chris Hunter?
Yao Ming?
NOT MARCUS CAMBY
DJ Mbenga
Jamaal Magloire
Jermaine O'Neal
Francisco Elson
Sean Williams
Darko Milicic
Etan Thomas
Adonal Foyle!
Channing Frye
Amar'e Stoudemire (let's lowball him again!)
Joel Przybilla
Patrick O'Bryant
Rasho Nesterovic
Paul Davis
Brendan Haywood

Yeah, fuck all THAT.

No More Words

2010-04-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

To review: Cohan IS NOT selling.
Nelson IS NOT retiring.
Warriors ARE NOT changing.
GQ Curry IS NOT leading to better days.

Oh and:

Warriors PR personally called me today to pitch Stephen Curry as ROY. That's a 1st in my 7 yrs on beat. And Curry is making choice hard.

http://twitter.com/PDcavsinsider/status/11800171425

Reminder: Bill Simmons Got the No-Ellison-Sale Scoop First

2010-04-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

For instance, when I was in Dallas for All-Star Weekend, I asked an extremely wealthy person the following question: "Why haven't you bought an NBA team yet?"

His answer: "Because they're still overvalued. Anyone who buys in right now is doing it for ego only. That's why the league grabbed the Russian's [Mikhail Prokhorov's] money [for the New Jersey Nets] so quickly. He has a big ego and deep pockets, and he didn't know any better. He just wanted in. The pool of American buyers who fit that mold has dwindled. Look at [Oracle CEO] Larry Ellison. Five years ago, he would have jumped on the Warriors like Cuban jumped on the Mavericks. Now he's being much more cautious. He doesn't think they're worth more than $325 [million] and they aren't. Not with the current revenue system, not without a new arena, and not with a lockout coming. It's a dumb investment."

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100224

Update: Cohan Genius-O-Meter

2010-03-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

GQ Curry has been smoked by every other rookie point guard in the league in head to head matchups now. Rodrigue Beaubois just completeley dominated the Spoiled Brat Chucker. Li'l Bobo is fierce. Donnie Nelson steals the draft again after Sam Presti nabbed the Pietrus-land compatriot.

Formula: [Production + Projection - Hype]
1. Brandon Jennings - playoffs!
2. Jrue Holiday - youngest player in the league.
3. Darren Collison - negative hype from Chris Paul really boosts him.
4. Rodrigue Beaubois - playoffs!
5. Ty Lawson - playoffs!
6. Eric Maynor - playoffs!
7. Jeff Teague - playoffs!
8. Tyreke Evans
9. Jonny Flynn - triangle fail.
10. Toney Douglas - look into it.
11. GQ Curry
12. AJ Price

Why Chris Cohan Won't Sell Before 2011.

2010-03-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

If you're a Warriors fan, ask yourself this:

Do you want Larry Ellison's money going to Chris Cohan's pockets and David Stern's CV or do you want him getting a great deal and then spending like crazy on YOUR TEAM? Easy answer. Now imagine Ellison isn't the guy buying the team. Suddenly the money ain't so funny and you damn sure want every last penny salvaged from the undeserving Cohan-Stern network and poured DIRECTLY into team operations coffers for the immense rebuilding project Cohan's destructive tenure leaves in its wake.

This week, the Warriors' announced they had hired a respected professional sports M & A organization to handle the potential sale of their unprofessional NBA organization. The Galatioto Sports Partners group, which brands itself "The Sports Bankers," has overseen a number of pro team sales in recent years and most recently advised parties to the Charlotte Bobcats team sale.

Despite the sound and the fury of this announcement of... paying a retainer to a banking firm? ... the Golden State Warriors and the flagship whorebag radio mothpiece they fund heavily have already run creepy ads about Larry Ellison. The spot in question, which features a mannered sale demand and some predictable excuse-making about how difficult and drawn out these mega big business deals can be, delivers a familiar message to the fans still listening to KNBR and, in turn, listening for their reason to spend more money on this shit can team. Amounting to little more than the desperate season ticket sales push gimmick of all time, this "sale" prep announcement ad, of course, urges.......

Patience.

The Warriors demand that season ticket holders on the fence about renewing their tickets for another season of this crap house show lock in within the next two weeks, by April 12th. Apparently the Clippers, on the other hand, are letting their ticket holders wait until AFTER the draft lottery has taken place. In other words, the Warriors demanded that remaining invested fans hand over money for Rowell to put into interest-bearing accounts before they even know where the team will draft. Or before they trade that pick in a Maggette contract dump! Or before the Clippers even hire a new coach or sign Lebron James! The Clippers have EVERYTHING going for them now with another high draft pick, the best pick of last year's draft ready to go, millions to spend in free agency, and Mike Dunleavy gone. But there are no answers to a thousand all-too-familiar questions in Warriorland and we slobbering masses still enjoy the hell out of watching these final 15 games as Nelson shows that those injuries and youth never mattered, he can still manufacture exciting shit ball barn burners with D-Leaguers and has-beens and the Winning Shall Inspire. Buy tickets now!

And to top THAT,

WE'RE SELLING! YOU'RE FREE! CELEBRATE BY BUYING TICKETS NOW!!!!!

As many have by now figured out, the Warriors will still run the draft and the free agency period (in which they are complete non-factors) via Idiot's Consortium.

Robert Rowell says "Salary Protection Wins Championships."
Larry Riley says "Aw Shucks, we'll try like the Dickens not to suck."
Don Nelson says ~burp~ "Dammit, Willie, ante up."

Buy Tickets Now!

Chris Cohan's creepy, beady-eyed weirdo routine still has us poor fans in a strangle hold. As it turns out, Cohan had TWO agreements in place with Larry Ellison but backed out of both! He LIKED Ellison's bid price! He ACCEPTED Larry Ellison's bid price! And then, in a fit of idiocy, he sent Flunkster Dude and the PR moron brigade off to spam the forums and the airwaves to complain that Ellison was lowballing him! Warriors beatland missed this completely and ate the cookie: Ellison is interested! They skipped over the part Ric Bucher nailed on Gary Radnich's AM radio show: Cohan fucked up the sale already. TWICE. He had to cover up (through Rowell denial and Ellison baiting) by beating the winner of the stand off(s) to the punch.

Like the Monta Ellis trade Rowell offered the Memphis Grizzlies (diarrhea of the mouth) and the failed Amar'e Stoudemire trade(s) this past year, the Cohan Enterprise failed miserably when they actually stepped foot on legit NBA business territory. You know, the level above just efficiently stealing fans' money through media messaging and contract laundering (at least $20 million saved through various insurance-covered contracts and cash dumps this season).

Interesting side note, Monta Ellis was fined AND suspended last season. So he was suspended without pay for 30 games (~$3 million) AND THEN he had to pay $3 million to league-appointed charities as part of the team fine. So in effect, as NO ONE has ever discussed until now: Monta Ellis had $6 million taken away from him AND THEN was mercilessly slammed by the Warriors and the local fan community for two straight seasons. Thank god he just told Marc Spears he thinks he's better than Lebron. His agents are brilliant: adding that fuel to the Ellis Attitude Fire should get him dumped off right quick. Damage control spinning has already begun in earnest in Warriorland.

[Update: Suspension cash goes to charity/tax write-off for the team, of course. But the fine was never announced and may not in fact have been assessed once Ellis' Player's Union grievance stopped the official Warriors public patriarchal shaming dead in its tracks. Forum plant morons were still free to foment Monta hatred, which continues today. Ellis definitely played the season under VOID, fine, and further suspension threat. Rowell announced he would not be voided about the time Elis' Players' Union grievance was reviewed and Ellis' claim affirmed. Rowell of course spun it as an act of magnanimity on his part. Then Ellis was offered in a heavily publicized (by Rowell) trade that would have saved the team that $3 million. Likely to still happen after all of the other money laundering schemes Rowell's run on Crawford, Jackson, Belinelli trades, etc.]

All of which is to say, as We Believe! barely scratches the surface of the days-of-yore memory banks a mere 3 years after The Dallas Series: Chris Cohan is a gutless loser who can't close and, when he REALLY fucks up, broadcasts the fact by publicly smearing the OTHER side in whatever matter he just trainwrecked. That's a verb now. Update your wikisaurus. It's fucking Cohan's verb. It's the Cohan Verb Par Excellence.

Cohan the Trainwrecker.

And add this one to your lexicon, too: pulling a Cohan. Someone more clever than I can run down some preliminary mega fuck ups that shall from this day forth be called pullings of Cohans. But you all know exactly what they'll look like: fucking brutal. I've got a few real life Cohans pulled:

1. Chris Webber house visit and IMMEDIATE end of his Warriors tenure way back at the beginning of the Cohan ownership.
2. Lucked into the 2007 Playoffs, had the premier team marketing vehicle (and used it: We Believe!), but fucked it all up and were a laughing stock less than a year later.
3. Dumping Jason Richardson for strictly cash savings. $10 million TPE unused, playoffs missed. Remember the LOUD complaints fomr Nellie and co. about 48 games to makes the Western Conference playoffs that season? 48 wins both seasons since. Good thing they quit then instead of wasting good scotch on hard work the last two seasons. Oh and, to close the loop: Drafting Marco Belinelli and suggesting he'd replace JR.
4. Chris Webber signing and mega-publicity campaign to kill any shot at the 2008 playoffs.
5. 16 years. Make your own list. Pretty much any executive decision over that time qualifies.

Pulling a Cohan. The Warriors Way. Going on 20 years. That's a Fucking Dynasty.
David Stern hates you, NBA Warriors fans. He fucking hates you.

Upon this most recent fuck up of professional negotiating, David Stern realized he was about to lose a major gravy train and any shot at a new arena and new merchandise boon once Ellison paid the mere pennies in Oracle Scratch a comprehensive rebranding/uniform revision would cost. So he botched the entire affair on top of Cohan's bull shit and strong armed the Sports Banking firm hiring and announcement thereof that has dominated the largely-ignored Warriors media cycle this week. Oh yeah and Stephen Curry's ankle healed magically after Tyreke Evans' face got smashed. Hangover's are a bitch, and Steph Curry was HUNG THE FUCK OVER in Memphis in a recent ugly Warriors loss on the road.

Anyway, the sale timeline does not change at all. Chris Cohan is under no pressure to sell before the league knows for sure whether there will or will not be a player lockout attending CBA renegotiations next year. He wants to sell and has for some time, that much is clear. But he missed the Golden Opportunity and has systematically devalued the team since the 2007 playoffs. Since then, he's piled on contracts he immediately regretted (Maggette, Ellis, Biedrins, Jackson, Nelson) and hiked prices to rates that GUARANTEE you suckers just made him more money in the last two terrible seasons than he'd made in any two season period prior. Add the season ticket sales totals up from 2007-2009 and you're looking at one of the most percentage-profitable teams in the league. Perhaps THIS season ticket sales dropped. But it was sheer gravy train to this point and Rowell's canny cash dumps and vet minimum signings (paid by the league for the most part) result in no major cash hit whatsoever.

Cohan has a long-rumored IRS debt to worry about. Apparently, it's a major problem now. Never before. It dates to 1998 when the dipshit sold the cable company he bought with his inheritance and used shady tax shelters because, of course, he went bargain shopping on his financial advice. Not buying that it pressures him in sale-relevant ways. He's been peddling the team for years now. He's the classic fickle fucktard. No one takes him seriously at this point and what Stern fails to recognize is that, by publicizing this For Sale stuff NOW with a clear financial crisis on the horizon for the league and no guarantees that D League scabs will put butts in seats, he advertises an INCREDIBLE Clearance Sale on the Warriors.

If you're a halfway decent businessman or -woman, you're waiting until the team is so heinously devalued that you can have it for nearly free and you're not letting Cohan's bitchy reactionary PR shit dissuade you from letting him kill himself yet again. Stern wants mega millions for a good market? Boo-fucking-hoo. He let us waste away for going-on-20 years to this point, fuck him and the incompetent fat cat prick owners who got us all into this mess of complacent fan-screwing in the first place.

The low dollar point for the Warriors ain't now. This desperate last chance to entice someone into thinking they can run a draft and hire a coach ain't fooling anyone who matters. Nelson is still under contract, Maggette is totally untradeable, the draft pick is worthless, the core players are overpriced, hated, fighting with each other, lazy, flawed, out of position, or all of the above. Why pay for the last worst year of this team's Epic Failure? Why bail Cohan out of the ONLY money losing season in the last 5?! Let him squirm. Let the team plummet. Let the arena get another natural year closer to the inevitable end. Go in for the kill when the bleeding has already got this fucker on the mat.

This is simply a stupid time to buy from a fickle loser like Cohan. The Publicize strategy Cohan and Stern settled on ensures nothing at all in terms of timeline, it simply annoys existing bidders and highlights the desperation. Only one change matters as Cohan inflicts this ULTIMATE fan fuck over, the "I'm Selling" lie. Cohan has to give it up. All of it. The myth of competence, the snarky sense of entitlement, the cocky assurance and plausible deniability PR campaigns, all of it. Nothing changes for Warriors fans until one thing happens.

Let go, Chris Cohan.
Just let it go.
You cannot win, and you have not shown the world you're serious about selling.

You've merely reconfirmed for the umpteenth time that you are not worth treating as a legitimate business partner and that your irrational self-deluding knows no shame. You'll even exploit the dominant Warriors fan passion, the one that wats YOU out of our lives more than even Monta Ellis, for a few stray ticket sales.

Just let it go.
The tickets will sell themselves at that point.

Besides all this, the timeline predictions from folks like Tim Kawakami and Marc Spears make no sense based upon previous team sales. Perhaps this situation is different, and if Larry Ellison suddenly pays $500 million for the Warriors tomorrow, egg on my face. But a fast track sale doens't make a lot of sense for a supposedly important market that should be a near-crown jewel of the league instead of a national punch line. You do this right and you treat the most desirable bidder well. You don't drag his or her name around in desperate false bidding war talk pointing.

Teams that are selling in time for the upcoming draft and Free Agency signing period have been publicly for sale for months and years and have had sale discussions publicly vetted on a regular basis for some time.

The New Jersey Nets, for example, were known to be "unofficially" for sale or in preliminary, intermediate, or advanced discussions (who knows?) as early as Spring 2008. Frank Isola and Mitch Lawrence wrote up a comprehensive review of one significantly advanced potential sale scenario in October, 2008: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/nets/2008/10/27/2008-10-27_bruce_ratner_explored_nets_sale.html

The Nets were not officially sold until 2010. And not to the parties discussed in that article. But the public/league-mediated sale discussions DID produce a bonkers bidder. Major considerations: Odds-on lock for the #1 pick in a two player draft, TONS of cap room for this Epic Free Agent Market, and 100% Lebron mojo in the Brooklyn market with added public spectacle value in the person of longtime Nets shareholder and prominent ownership representative AND Lebron friend, phenomenally successful and now New York-brand-setter, rapper Jay-Z.

I'm a major Sinatra fan but I hand over New York naming rights fully to Jay-Z's sublime Empire State of Mind.

The Bobcats were "publicly" put up for sale way back in April-May of 2009, officially announced as such via typical circuitry in June after Bob Johnson hired an investment banker to manage the sale. He'd been meeting with said banker for months preceding the public announcements. The league and the team's ownership spent "some time" (nearly a year) trying to manufacture an operative market despite everyone knowing Michael Jordan was going to buy (and kill) the league's second-least valuable market franchise at the end of the day and he'd already devalued it to irretrievable depths while the owner ran for his life under a hail of operations losses. Michael Jordan's easy claim on the team following some perfunctory phantom competition news went down smoothly and quickly after the team took a major value hit. Losing and incompetence have a way of infecting even the sweet release of closure with their stink. Losers lose, I guess.

Wizards are SOLD as of now but that sale was already assured via Abe Pollin's sad passing and longstanding, strong relationships with minority owner Ted Leonsis. Leonsis had exclusive purchasing rights and used them. The Verizon Center is part of Wizards assets, their payroll is looking dandy for this FA class, Gilbert Arenas may still be voided in time for big signings, and the Wizards Shaun Livingston Tank Brigade is on its way to better lottery odds than the Warrior team that manufactured its lost season through bad player relations, lies, and false injury reports while Washington was legitimately dysfunctional in the wake of Pollin's passing and Arenas' Annual Solstice Day Shoot Out.

These things tend to look a certain way and take a certain amount of time when they're really going down. And when they're really working through the circuitry that engenders league approval, they involve, to be sure, firms like Galatioto Partners. But they also tend to have clear extenuating circumstances and acknowledged histories of development that do indeed draw the crazies from outside the NBA information exchange (say, Russia or China) with monster bids. They do NOT come when the team flexibility situation is at its worst and the next season is under the cloud of a player lockout that will make you no money in the immediate future. Ask any savvy 2010 Real Estate vulture and he or she will tell you, there are plenty of clearly hopeless situations still being clung to by irrational buffoons in deep, deep denial. You know when you're dealing with one and you don't waste your time with them. Their product is never worth OVERpaying for.

So the bull shit talk about Stern wanting the Warriors to go for a fat price is all hot air. A good businessman knows full well that desperation on the eve of no team play is the best time to pounce and that a complete restructuring of league contract rules is the time to arrive with major capital mojo and a major chance to take the lead amongst owners with all Don Nelson questions answered and paid for by the sucker you just cleaned out.

Chris Cohan isn't selling because he doesn't have the stones to admit when he's licked (we'd be done with him by now if he did). And Larry Ellison isn't buying because he'd be a complete idiot if he did right now. David Stern seems like he's due for retirement. Trying to fuck with Larry Ellison seems like a fine sign of his demented, overblown sense of importance. This play was a major fail. The new mega tycoon owners and Michael Jordan can safely stage his ouster now. Beautiful. Those poor players don't like sport coats anyway. So let them take them off and listen to mood music entering the arena again. PLEASE.

To wrap this up and get the weekend kicked off, a bit of recap and loose additional thoughts on the Week that Wasn't in Cohan Faux Sales Talks:

This team will try to make a bigtime trade in this offseason because it's worth zero right now. If they had any moment of "we won't just rent a big name" last offseason, it was in direct consideration of the rental not affecting sale price positively THIS offseason because ROWELL had already screwed the cap situation up so heinously with the then-in-house Stephen Jackson problem, etc. Even moving Biedrins and change wasn't going to fix the rest of the payroll enough to play on this FA market. But no one's listening since half the league is in on the 2010 FA pool (including the Sacramento Kings, who are about to boat race the Warriors hardcore. Are they for sale?! New arena!). So the Warriors will have to try again at the next trade deadline. Until then, they don't have any improvement of assets to point to and can only find new ways to make money while killing the product. Rowell's a clever thief. I'm sure Cohan's bottom line will be just fine. Most expensive concessions in the league, no outhouses, ramped up parking ticket prices MID SEASON, etc. They're the best in the business at stealing the fans' money, even in times of crisis. Cohan's kids won't starve. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What sort of moron would bail them out NOW to NOT PLAY on this FA market?! And what sort of a moron thinks the pieces on the roster make the Warriors a player in this S&T market?! Not Larry Ellison. Maybe the idiot accomplice best friend of Cohan and co., Mr. Fitness Club Lamorinda Mark Mastrov. Ugh. That would be a fucking disaster.

We've all accepted that this week's Big News only re-confirms that Cohan is being a stubborn moron about the price.
Like I said a while ago. Let's make it a fun game now! How much do you think he'll sell for?!

To reiterate, Bucher laid a solid gold egg many of you don't seem to want to acknowledge:

COHAN BACKED OUT OF AGREEMENTS TWICE!

Like heavily publicizing mega offers to Arenas and Brand (let that sink in for a moment) and then throwing $50 million at Corey Maggette, this staged public announcement is pure PR fodder. Cohan's no closer and this was the only way he could think of to troll Ellison's life since Larry ain't returning calls any more. Stern's job interview with Ellison is not off to a good start.

Stern and Cohan are on the brink of completely blowing this.

No Sale before 2011.

Best 6th Man of the Draft Since Robert Rowell's Balls Dropped

2010-03-13T15:38:00.000-08:00

It's looking like Jamal Crawford has about locked up the 2010 6th Man of the Year Award. Unless I've got the national media as snively about this as they sometimes seem and they go agenda vote on us all yet again as the reality of the GQ Curry Show Hype and Gimmicks Marketing Campaign smacks everyone in their self-righteous, one-month-of-college-basketball-discussing, nice-story-loving, pretty-mouth-infatuated faces.

Now seems like a good time to review the best 6th men drafted since Robert Rowell has worked for the Golden State Warriors (1995: "I've been here 9 years!"). Lied about that one, too.

Not every year features a great 6th man. In 2001, for example, no prototypical 6th man was really drafted. So I plugged Shane Battier into this list. It should make everyone feel better if they really think about it. But it will probably make them feel really bad after that if they REALLY think about it. Likewise, 1996 saw no real 6th man talent come to the podium for a clammy Stern handshake. But Todd Fuller and Kobe Bryant DID cross the stage that year a mere 2 picks apart!

If a player ever won 6th Man of the Year, I give him honorable mention in his draft year in the event another player has since passed him up for career bench role playing excellence. Mike Miller, Rookie of the Year in 2001 and 6th Man of the Year in 2006, however, does not beat out Jamal Crawford because then my awesome list would not be as funny. Or maybe it would. Mike Miller won Rookie of the Year after being drafted 5th. OK, you talked me into it. Co-6th Man Draftees of the Year for 2000. Once Crawford wins 6th Man of the Year, 2000 will forever live on as the Greatest 6th Man Draft Year In The History of The NBA Ever Since 1999 Unless 2009 surpasses it.

Year: Player (Draft Position) [Warriors Pick - Position]
1995: Jerry Stackhouse (3) HM: Corliss Williamson (13) [Joe Smith - 1]
1996: Kobe Bryant (13) [Todd Fuller - 11]
1997: Tim Thomas (7) [Adonal Foyle - 8]
1998: Antawn Jamison (4) [Vince Carter - 5, traded for Antawn Jamison - 4]
1999: Jason Terry (10) & Manu Ginobili (57) [Jeff Foster - 21, traded for Vonteego Cummings - 26]
2000: Mike Miller (5) & Jamal Crawford (8) [no pick]
2001: Shane Battier (6) [Jason Richardson - 5]
2002: Matt Barnes (46) [Mike Dunleavy - 3]
2003: Leandro Barbosa (28) [Mickael Pietrus - 11]
2004: Ben Gordon (3) [Andris Biedrins - 11]
2005: Nate Robinson (21) [Ike Diogu - 9, Monta Ellis - 40]
2006: JJ Redick (11) [Patrick O'Bryant - 9]
2007: Jared Dudley (22) & Rudy Fernandez (24) [Marco Belinelli - 18]
2008: DJ Augustin (9) & Jerryd Bayless (11) [Anthony Randolph - 14]
2009: ????????? (?) [Stephen Curry - 7]

CJ Watson > Stephen Curry

2010-03-12T23:39:00.001-08:00

Season PER:
Watson 14.66
Curry 14.62

Warriors +/- per minute last 10 games & Season PER Update

2010-03-11T09:46:00.000-08:00

Ellis' and Maggette's numbers suck (worse than all these guys but not NEARLY as bad as Raja Bell's!) but Ellis has played only 4 games in the last 13 and everyone knows Maggette is total shit. So here's a decent first impression of life without Monta. Now that Nellie and the team plan to roll forth with Tolliver and Williams and Hunter next year, you know how that will all work once Ellis and Biedrins are dumped and Curry's running the team all by his widdle wonesome. And Watson is surely about to be mishandled in Rowell sign and trade demands no team will ever meet.

"Hi [insert name of competent NBA executive here] it's me, Bobby Rowell!"
Click. Diarrhea of the mouth.

1. Watson (.076)
2. Hunter (.049)
3. Tolliver (-.022)
4. Williams (-.137, 5 games)
5. George (-.146)
6. Biedrins (-.153)
7. Morrow (-.177)
8. Turiaf (-.187)
9. Curry (-.198)

The Curry-Turiaf core is solid.

Season PER
1. Maggette - 21.27
2. Azubuike - 20.08 (there's SO MUCH HOPE!)
3. Randolph - 18.92 (SO MUCH!)
4. Williams - 18.76 (HOPE!)
5. Ellis - 16.62 (byebye)
Jason Richardson - 16.39
Rodrigue Beaubois - 16.33
Stephen Jackson - 16.11
15.00 is an average NBA player
6. Curry - 14.67 (they padded and padded but this is as high as he could get?!)
7. Watson - 14.64 (better start screwing with his time even MORE b4 he catches GQ!)
8. Morrow - 14.11
9. Bell - 14.02 (Player-coach. Savior. Veteran Savvy. 34. Bullshit.)
10. Marco Belinelli - 13.33 (Winner. He'll make more $ than Randolph next season.)
11. Biedrins - 13.13
12. Tolliver - 12.10
13. Turiaf - 12.08
14. Moore - 11.32 (brilliant addition)
15. Patrick O'Bryant - 10.98 (oops. How'd that get in there?)
16. Devean George - 10.76 (free and no whining to the Italian media.)
17. Hunter - 10.69
18. Radmanovic - 8.04 (really looking forward to seeing what he can do next season.)
19. Cartier Martin - 7.42 (30 minutes a game for 10 games was a really good call.)
20. Coby Karl - 5.21 (I liked him.)

Update: Collison TORCHES GQ Stat Pad Head-to-Head

2010-03-08T19:50:00.001-08:00

See below.

Don Nelson pulled CJ Watson and put Curry in late with the Warriors cruising, Morrow and Williams firing. Ball game. Curry got smoked by Collison and coughed it up under light pressure when it counted most. Twitterverse agrees: Collison has passed up the Hot February Stat Pad month from Curry and is in second place for ROY since the other rooks are all going to the playoffs and their teams don't need meaningless bullshit like this irrelevant Griffin-Was-Out ROY trophy.

Too easy.

When Darren Collison plays 30+ minutes in a game, he averages (wait for it).....

10.75 assists.

That's over 24 games this season.
In 10 earlier Hornets games, he played under 10 minutes and often less than 5.
His season averages would be astronomical if you just scrapped the Byron Scott and Chris Paul games altogether.

More proof that nothing means anything in Nellie Ball

2010-03-08T12:04:00.000-08:00

Since the All Star break, the Warriors have implemented their famous Rest-a-Vet strategy and declared all big money players broken or otherwise unfit for flight fare and those precious per diems while running the All D Leaguer rotation into the ground like it cost $45 million.

In the meantime, CJ Watson has returned to completely outclassing the Golden Child, GQ Curry, as the latter plays maximum minutes for maximum empty stats in a maximum empty season for a maximum empty team soon to play in a maximum empty arena. Check out the excellent fan blogger Adam Lauridsen on the Mercury News site and this harrowing State of the Season Ticket Holder address:

http://blogs.mercurynews.com/warriors/2010/03/07/why-im-not-renewing/

Watson was benched for a game after smoking GQ with 40 points in the Sacramento game and various other brilliant playing moments as Curry's All Star and ROY pushing faded away. He was clearly just fine when he came back (and remember, this guy's been playing with something missing in his elbow or broken or whatever since like last year- tough, hungry, good). And he's been great. Maybe Nellie created him as such, huh? Doesn't look like it. Nellie runs Watson less than 30 MPG and Watson puts up numbers in limited time that put Curry's near-48 MPG to shame by comparison.

These numbers are simply remarkable:

Stat: Watson // Curry
MPG: 28.6 // 44.4
PPG:   20.1 // 21.5
FG%: .542 // .455
APG:   3.9 // 7.7
TO:     1.4 // 4.5
RPG:   3.3 // 5.8
STL:    2.4 // 1.55

Curry's also been a 3 point chucking machine since the failed hype gesture Stern and the Warriors orchestrated at Anthony Morrow's expense in the All Star weekend 3 point contest. Watson vs. Curry 3PT shooting since the All Star break: Watson's 13-31 (.419), Curry's 25-69 (.362).

Annual reminder: The Warriors have shot 3 pointers at .410 (7.1/17.4) in their 17 wins. They've shot 3 pointers at .348 (6.9/19.8) in their 45 losses. And strangely enough, they've shot 3 pointers at .373 (25-67) in the three wins since the All Star break (Kings, Hawks, Pistons, all at home). So perhaps the stat doesn't tell us much. But then again, that works out to 22.3 attempts per game in those wins. The pace of games since the break has been ramped up considerably. Rowell and Nelson's ticket sales push of entertaining slop ball has been an abject failure in every way thus far. And no one is confused as to what Nelson preaches (if he even talks to the players any more at this point) when he bothers to work on game planning. Run run run, chuck chuck chuck. It's what they did for 24 games in Spring 2007, what they did against Dallas, and what they did in 2007-08. It's all they've ever done when they've stolen a few wins now and then during Nelson's pathetic return to the bench these last 4 years. This 3 point chucking should be very familiar to Warriors fans and it's ALWAYS been Curry's major tendency. So has a poor AST/TO ratio, incidentally.

The cost of Curry's individual 3 point chucking is points on the other end. Curry has taken 69 three pointers since the All Star break. Anthony Morrow has, as well, and made 3 more than Curry. One can argue that the percentage difference those three makes equate to (.406 for Morrow to Curry's .362) settles the matter: it's no big deal. But it is indeed a big deal when one considers that Curry has 200 FGA total since the All Star break to Morrow's 173 and that Curry is clearly shooting anything and everything in a broken system with no accountability and no legitimate team play in sight. That Morrow has been used a lot since the break is still significant, though. Curry has been run out with the full intention of taking all kinds of shots and racking up all the numbers he can while the team shuts down anyone and everyone they pimped as a core player this time last season. What's going on with Morrow getting all this run, too? He's the only guard available sometimes but CJ Watson and Reggie Williams look pretty OK. (Textbook Warriors: secure the D Leaguer they plan to sign for next season, get him on team payroll and in the locker room, and hide him off court so other teams don't invite him to their Summer team- they did it with Azubuike and Watson, too).

Here's the point:

Stephen Curry is #8 in the league for total FGA since the break. Morrow's 173 puts him in 18th. Last year, the Warriors finished the second half with Kelenna Azubuike's 315 attempts leading the team after the break. That was good for 83rd in the league. Al Harrington's 444 as a Knick were good for 20th. Ben Gordon took 483. Curry is currently on pace to take 564 shots in the second half. Morrow is on pace to take 487. They're being pushed as the future of this team, no doubt about it. But the play is no different-- scratch that, it's WORSE-- under the Nelson agenda now. Imagine putting Anthony Randolph on the floor to take all of his early clock bad shots. Imagine Kelenna Azubuike in there to fight for shots with Morrow and Curry. Don't imagine Monta Ellis or Andris Biedrins because they're still on the trade block come draft day. If they're both with the team for opening night next season, I'm not sure what I'll do or say. It will be an incredible change of course rivaled only by Bobby Rowell freaking out about me and others knowing him better than he knows himself and offering a combined, what, $100+ million to Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette? Kelenna Azubuike may opt out of his deal. If he doesn't, he's trade bait. The team will market Curry and Morrow as but the latest annual future core while they fail to secure a solid roster besides the ticket sales talk points.

Calls from ticket representatives right now feature two names most prominently:
Stephen Curry and Anthony Morrow.

Moving on, and back to how Watson is better than GQ Free Pass in the Nellie Balll Shitwing Attack:

Watson has created 18 rebound opportunities off of 3 pointers since the All Star break. Curry has created 44. His quick clock chucks look pretty bad lately. No play development, no rebounders, no percentages in his favor apparently, and no wins. OK, 3 wins. 3-8 since the break. Watson played in those wins and missed one of the losses. So Watson's winning percentage is better than Curry's, too: .300 vs. .272. The Warriors' shoot-first, do anything else later long ball attack is of course the number one reason they lead the league in Pace and trail the league in rebounding. If the first guy down the court can always shoot as soon as he hits the 3 point line, which is the Nellie Ball play call all too often, the opposition that is already bigger than the Nelson shitwing roster just has to be there in time for the miss.

One team in the league gathers fewer total offensive rebounds per game than the Warriors. The Boston Celtics, however, run at a much lower pace. By the more appropriate measure, rebounding rate, the Warriors are simply record-settingly terrible. They're dead last in Offensive Rebounding Rate. And yet, the Nellie Ball mandate and the Curry natural chuck habit (more than 19 attempts in under 33 minutes per game over his Davidson career) continue to create easy rebounding and scoring opportunities for the opposition.

These things don't change. Giving the 70 year old Active Retirement $6 million man, Don Nelson, the most iso-happy volume chucker from a shitball Star Prop basketball "program," was like giving a dope addict a big bag of free smack. I'm borrowing the analogy from a fellow fan but it absolutely applies. Stephen Curry is naturally a Nellie Shit Ball player and even though he refused to work out for the team because the Star Prop marketing opportunities are bad and because the team is a laughingstock beneath his pedigree'd sense of entitlement as an Empty Gym, Garbage Time All Star, he's landed in the perfect place to be himself and avoid serious work on development at all costs.

As the numbers show, Curry isn't scoring any more points than Watson in the games. OK, ONE extra point. It's certainly not coming from penetration and challenging opposing defenders: Watson's getting to the line almost 6 times per game (.793) while Curry gets there only 3 times per game.  Curry has a nice pretty FT% but his empty gym skills remain about the least relevant component of the NBA game. He's getting some assists but he's coughing the ball up at an alarming rate. And a look at his late game work as a distributor should give anyone who ever said "Rookie of the year" and "Stephen Curry" in the same sentence a heart attack as their game-watching and thinking habits are aired for the world to see.

Worse, actually watching any or all of the games lately reveals that he's simply clueless in the half court set now that the Screen-Roll play has been stopped after a 3 game run and his bounce passing and errant cross-court flings remain well below the NBA point guard standard. Hell, his careless work and inaccurate ankle passing aren't even NBA power forward caliber. He doesn't make chest passes or any other two handed, productive passes.

My "volume passing" moniker is still solid gold.  Curry is a neurotic robot about heaving up court on the break after cherry picking some cheap/standard Nellie Ball defensive rebounds when the Warriors manage to dupe the opponent into slop ball running (the Atlanta idiots on the bench and in uniform were especially susceptible). So he looks for the easy CP first, heaves it no matter what kind of play is there, and often turns the ball over right then and there. Sheer idiocy. Matt Barnes can do the same thing. The difference with Matt Barnes was that he was strong. His laser outlet volume passing went out of bounds when he misfired (often: "My Bad"). Much easier turnover to mitigate. GQ's a weakling and his lobbish first and only option up court chuck is simply stolen and converted into easy points on the other end.

Can't deal with a double team, can't handle ball pressure (echoes of Marco Bustinelli), can't run half court offense, can't execute basic bounce passes, can't do anything but score and get some volume assists now and then. Baron Davis should have averaged 10+ APG under Nelson easily. But like Curry, he was content to get his points and get some gaudy overall numbers without really worrying about the real game play. Ka-ching. Pay the man. Robert Rowell knew damn well where Baron's "production" came from. Monta Ellis knows damn well "you don't really need a real point guard in Nellie Ball."

http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2008/10/11/robert-rowell-q-and-a-on-monta-ellis-30-game-suspension/

CJ Watson is demolishing GQ Stat Pad on efficiency AND raw numbers.  The most likely GQ Free Pass hypester retort is that it's Curry setting Watson up to succeed so much since the All Star break. That won't fly. By way of easiest, most glaringly anti-Rowell/Nellie roster construction example, I've seen Matt Barnes run the same full court break point guard role as well and better, for more WINS. Barnes is of course the guy who just stuffed Kobe Bryant and is now probably headed to the NBA Finals once Mike Brown shits his pants at zero hour for the final time in his Lebron coattail riding career. So in other words, Nellie Ball sets this sort of shit up any way. Ellis was this incredibly efficient short-minute break monster CJ Watson has turned into, once upon a time. Now he's out, too?

OK, I'm just rambling at this point.
It's time to face facts.
Stephen Curry is not a top shelf NBA point guard prospect.
He never was.
He might be a decent 6th man on an OK team.
But he seems entirely too self-centered, cocky, sloppy, and entitled to ever accept the role or ever successfully discipline his game to provide meaningful work in such a role. And as a starting point guard, he's the absolute worst in the league.

The Chris Cohan Wikipedia Scandal!

2010-03-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

Now that it's official- Larry Ellison isn't coming to save us all any time before the NBA lockout in 2011-12- the Warriors PR dweebs are back to policing the forums and scrubbing the public records. And padding hit count stats on the website of the fabulous Christopher J. Cohan Events Center at Robert Rowell's alma mater, Cal Poly San Luis Opublican.

The Cohan Wikipedia page has been totally shut down by Warriors operatives lately. It looks like this:

Chris Cohan
Christopher J. Cohan is the current owner of the Golden State Warriors of the NBA. He assumed control of the team in 1995 and helped renovate the Warriors' arena (now known as the Oracle Arena).

Cohan founded Sonic Communications in 1977. It became one of the largest independently owned cable outlets in the country before he sold it in May 1998.[1]

References: Golden State Warriors 2009-2010 media guide

But this is not what it looked like as recently as last week.

For your viewing pleasure, the currently forbidden and under editorial review or whatever but still absolutely wonderful (thanks to you, the fans) Chris Cohan Wikipedia page:

Chris Cohan

Christopher J. Cohan is the current owner of the Golden State Warriors of the NBA. He acquired a 25-percent interest in the team in 1991; in 1995, he became sole owner; he sold 20 percent of the team to four Silicon Valley investors in 2005.

Cohan's tenure as owner of the Warriors has been highlighted with the longest playoff drought of any team in NBA history. From 1994 to 2007, the Warriors did not make the playoffs under Cohan. Under Cohan, the team has had nine head coaches and did not have a winning season until the 2006-2007 season, after Cohan rehired Don Nelson as head coach. The 2006-2007 season was highlighted by one of the most memorable upsets in NBA Playoff history when the eighth-seeded Warriors knocked off the heavily favored top-seed Dallas Mavericks in six games in the first round. The Warriors went on to lose to the Utah Jazz in the second round of the playoffs. Cohan was the guiding force behind a completely refurbished arena in 1997 (now the 19,596-seat ORACLE Arena) and the building of a modern practice facilities in downtown Oakland for the Warriors in 1998. Cohan has been intensely criticized for his unsuccessful ownership.[1]

The NBA granted Cohan and the Warriors the 2000 NBA All-Star Game for the second time since the team moved to Northern California (also 1967). The game was televised in over 290 countries around the world and the weekend was highlighted by Vince Carter's still-popular elbow dunk on All-Star Saturday and by the home crowd booing Cohan during half-time of the All-Star game.

Cohan and his wife established the annual Angela & Christopher Cohan Community Assist Award in 2001. The award is presented annually to the player on the Warriors roster who best embodies ownership's commitment to the community. Cohan and his wife also established the Warriors Foundation 1998. The non-profit foundation is dedicated to positively impacting the communities of Oakland and the greater Bay Area.

In 1989, Cohan made a $2.1 million donation to aid in the construction of a Performing Arts Center in San Luis Obispo, California. The venue, located on the campus of Cal-Poly San Luis Obispo, was later named The Christopher Cohan Center.

Prior to purchasing the Warriors, Cohan founded Sonic Communications in 1977. It became one of the largest independently owned cable outlets in the country before he sold it in May 1998.

Cohan graduated from Arizona State University in 1973.

Facts

In 1994 just moments after it was announced that the Warriors traded popular center, Chris Webber, Chris Cohan's truck was stolen from his driveway in broad daylight.

Chris Cohan sued his business partners to gain sole ownership of the Golden State Warriors in 1994. The Warriors were a popular, 50-win team at the time, and soon turned into a nationally ridiculed loser. Not only that, there was a long list of parties dragged into civil courtrooms by "Cohan the Contrarian" which included his stockbroker, life insurance agent, and primary attorney. Hard to believe, but all were longtime friends. One was the best man at Cohan's wedding and another a groomsman. Cohan was sued, too, for failing to pay his bills by his landlord -- the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Authority,[1]

In 2000, Cohan was booed at the NBA All-Star Game, hosted at the newly refurbished Oracle Arena. At the side of Cohan were NBA Commissioner David Stern and Cohan's own son. Soon after getting booed by his own crowd, Cohan and his wife ran away from their seats to avoid reporters.

In 2005, reports surfaced that Cohan rejected a blockbuster trade for Kobe Bryant and Smush Parker in exchange for Baron Davis, Andris Biedrins, Derek Fisher, and undisclosed draft picks. Reports from inside the organization say Cohan, in response to the rejection of the trade, stated, "What kind of f***ing name is Smush?".

References
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=aw-cohanwarriors101209&prov=yhoo&type=lgns http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2002/02/10/SP74259.DTLL

I've never wiki'd in my life but you obviously have.
Go fix that mother up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Cohan

Rookie "Point" Guard Update & Stephen Jackson and Monta Ellis were right.

2010-03-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

First off, Stephen Jackson is averaging a perfectly respectable 3.7 APG with Charlotte this season. Good number from a sometimes-facilitator. Reminds us that his career 3.2 mark was not only pumped up by 179 games (2.18 full seasons worth) under Don Nelson but is STILL 3.3 APG lower than his peak season with the Warriors. Stephen Jackson averaged 6.5 APG with the Warriors LAST SEASON.

Nellie Ball Shit Stats aside, let's have another look at our rookie PGs!

I scanned the rookie "point" guard cosmetics and decided a nice benchmark for a volume comparison would be 14/7 points/assists games. I just did. No particular reason at all. By that measure, your leaders:

1. Jennings - 20
2. Evans - 17
3. Collison - 14
4. Curry - 12
5. Flynn - 6
6. Lawson - 3
7. Holiday - 0
8. Maynor - 0
9. Teague - 0
10. Price - 0
11. Beaubois - 0

Monta Ellis this season - 14
(5 in 07-08, 1 in 08-09)

Stephen Jackson last season - 24
Stephen Jackson this season - 1
Stephen Jackson in 2007-08 - 6

Baron Davis last season - 25
Baron Davis this season - 20
Baron Davis in 2007-08 - 49

Otis Smith Wins. When will the Warriors retire Chris Mullin's number?

2010-03-03T18:42:00.000-08:00

Great game against Orlando tonight, Nellie.
Way to leave it all on the floor (in Miami).

Darren Collison is taking control of the Rookie of the Year race second half.
Can he overcome Tyreke Evans' historic 20-5-5 pace?

PS, Warriors clinched a losing record for the season tonight.

My Retirement Announcement...

2010-02-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

As soon as Andris Biedrins and/or Monta Ellis are traded, I'm quitting the Warriors for good.
I'll consider returning if Larry Ellison or someone else purchases the team (under no circumstances will I return if the worthless minority owners purchase full stake). But I don't see that happening any time soon with the Real Cohan being a stupid prick about the sale price.

I've seen enough "Wait until NEXT next year- THIS is our future core for realsies this time!" PR campaigns in this life.
This blog, my twitter account, and all fan forum participation will cease upon the inevitable trade(s).

Signed,
CC

Pre game reminder:

2010-02-22T22:27:00.001-08:00

I'll educate your shit.

Jrue Holiday comes to town to see if Curry is better than him now.
Certainly wasn't last time.....

The Raw Math on the Rowell Cash Dump of Monta Ellis That Wasn't

2010-02-21T11:00:00.000-08:00

Memphis was the only team under the cap at the deadline.
They had almost $3 million in breathing room.

Thabeet and Mayo would have saved the Warriors close to $3 million in annual salary over Monta Ellis.

What's the money laundering total up to now with all the expired TPEs, insurance covered contracts, league subsidized veteran minimum deals, lopsided cash shifts on Harrington-Crawford-Jackson deals, etc.? And although I can't say I've verified directly with Larry Coon or the Mark the Sham Sports Guru directly, others tell me Coon confirms what the Sham Sports salary info indicates: Andris Biedrins never reached incentives benchmarks last season despite Marcus Thompson II's (neurotically reactionary) reports to the contrary. My guess is MTII got called up by the team and given a scoop. He released his story saying Biedirns had hit the incentives right after I brought the issue up last season. But the scoop looks to have been an outright lie. Biedrins' minutes screw over this season will save the Warriors another year of paying him his value on full minutes while they shit talk him out of both sides of their mouth.

My guess is the Warriors have saved well over $10 million in player salary commitments this season.

I'd say they're approaching $20 million.
I'd say they're not losing total money AT ALL despite terrible gate RECEIPTS (not attendance "fibs" and promotional Stat Padding).
I'd say Robert Rowell is not losing his job any time soon.

Update: Cohan Genius-O-Meter

2010-02-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

How a-BOUT them rookie point guards?!

Formula: [Production + Projection - Hype]
1. Brandon Jennings - playoffs?!
2. Darren Collison - negative hype from Chris Paul really boosts him.
3. Ty Lawson - playoffs!
4. Tyreke Evans
5. Johnny Flynn - owned rookie challenge. Balla.
6. Rodrigue Beaubois - Donnie Nelson steals the draft AGAIN!
7. Eric Maynor - playoffs!
8. Jrue Holiday
9. Toney Douglas - rings with Lebron?
10. AJ Price - incredible second round pick.
11. Jeff Teague
12. GQ Curry

They say +/- is meaningless out of context

2010-02-21T09:21:00.000-08:00

So you're telling me Indy can manipulate AJ Price's +/- better than Nellie and Stephen Silas can manipulate GQ Curry's with 40 minutes per night? Huh. Ty Lawson may be setting records here. No idea. Brandon Jennings is leading a playoff contender as an ungroomed rookie point guard with loads of problem areas to work on. Game sense is fine though. Unlike some empty gym stat padders I know who have internalized the garbage ball break and continue to neurotically fling weak and poorly executed passes up court at all times.

GQ Curry has invented a new NBA flaw: Volume Passing. He's a Passing Shitwing! It's incredible. Really incredible. Check my previous "analysis" of chucking shitwings and apply the same basic idea to Curry's terrible net passing work. It's unreal. He chucks plenty, too, despite having a nice shot at shootaround.

These rookie point guards are incredible!

1. Ty Lawson (+154)
2. Eric Maynor (+46)
3. Brandon Jennings (+19)
4. AJ Price (+18)
5. Rodrigue Beaubois (+16)
6. Jeff Teague (-13)
7. Jrue Holiday (-50)
8. Toney Douglas (-82)
9. Darren Collison (-105)
10. GQ Curry (-114)
11. Tyreke Evans (-205)
12. Johnny Flynn (-369)

Robert Rowell Initiated Ellis Trade Talks With Memphis. And Yes, Of Course, He Failed

2010-02-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

When he cut Speedy Claxton's expiring, insurance-covered contract two weeks before the trade deadline, Larry Riley claimed he had everything he needed to make the trades he wanted to make. But now, reports are surfacing from Memphis papers and elsewhere that the Warriors initiated the Monta Ellis contract dump talks with the Memphis Grizzlies that would have landed OJ Mayo and Hasheem Thabust for Ellis. Memphis turned Riley's best offer down. So it would seem that Good Ol' Larry figured absofuckinglutely wrong when he Aw-Shucksed his way through that awful Claxton announcement a few weeks back. Actually, he was probably right. He knew he wasn't allowed to do anything.

Robert Rowell called Memphis up. Robert Rowell got shot down.

Now the Warriors will attempt useless damage control lying, dead wrong fan-baiting GQ Curry hype, and Raja Bell/Kelenna Azubuike courtside appearances (they've been absent for over a month- have they been fined?) to distract from....

The Monta Ellis situation.

Ellis has been linked to Memphis on and off for the last two and a half seasons and definitely wants to go. Ellis has already made the Warriors aware of his desire to be traded at their earliest convenience, like Stephen Jackson before him. The only questions are when will the Warriors make their characteristic no-value cash dump and will Ellis have to get fined for publicly stating his desires first?

Knowing the Warriors, yes. Yes he will.

Meanwhile, it's clear the Warriors found out the only teams dumping for expirings who would also talk to them were direct rivals. The Clippers and Kings both set up for major spending this offseason in what could be the greatest free agent class in league history. Tellingly, the idiotic PR plants the Warriors pay more than their international TALENT scouting division have come up with this genius spin bull shit:

The Knicks and co. are idiots for setting up to play the greatest free agent class in league history.
There's no guarantee of getting perfect Hall of Fame players by that plan so why try?!

I'm serious. This is actually what Robert Rowell thinks and actually what he wants you to believe.

It's over.

Nellie's 300th game since 2006. Darren Collison: ROY

2010-02-19T23:46:00.001-08:00

The end.

Go Kings!

2010-02-18T09:25:00.000-08:00

Self Explanatory.
Enjoy the empty stats and dropping lottery pick, suckers.

Best parts of the game last night

2010-02-07T10:50:00.000-08:00

1. Halftime entertainment was a huge, brightly colored and crazy-wigged Irish dance club. Ten straight minutes of New Age Irish jig River Dance bedlam. Very nice.

2. Pizza/Shirt Squad has a really cool new shirt-flinging gun. Dude was launching shirts to the upper reaches behind the baskets from halfcourt. Claxton's money is not being wasted, don't you worry.

3. Dunk squad has an awesome new closer with all three dudes flipping and stuff. They're still working on it, they messed it up last night. BUT, they decided to disregard the teams starting to come onto the court after the horn from timeout and ran it AGAIN, successfully, to the second-biggest applause of the night. Priorities in Oakland have never been more appropriately ordered.

4. Pablo Sandoval was there after being in town for the Giants' fan fest earlier in the day. Panda got the biggest applause of the night. He also helped toss shirts. So Speedy Claxton's money is going to a very good cause, rest assured.

February Rookie "Point" Guard Update: Curry Coasting After Winning Prom King

2010-02-07T10:22:00.000-08:00

Stephen Curry has been officially erased from David Thorpe's rookie point guard rankings. Best passer, best penetrator, best anything but shooter.... GQ can't compete. GQ's only skill these days is scoring in garbage time. Nice shot, kiddo. Wish you could pass or see the floor. Those neurotic break outlet passes? OKC wasn't impressed. And the aim/strength/usefulness? Oy. Stick to shooting jump shots, kid. Meanwhile, he's playing 10+ fewer minutes per game since the All Star game contest selections were announced. At least the Warriors are focusing on what's important for a future winning culture.

Eric Maynor had no problem working Curry over last night.

Darren Collison and Marcus Thornton are READY for the Chris Paul trade. Wow, they've been incredible in his absence. New Orleans could make a killing in the next two weeks if they dump Paul, West, Peja, and Okafor. Shinn can run the league. Yeah right.

AST Ratio (season)
1. Maynor - 31.9
2. Teague - 28.9
3. Collison - 27.5
4. Lawson - 26.7
5. Holiday - 26.3
6. Jennings - 23.5
7. Curry - 23.3
8. Flynn - 20.9
9. Evans - 18.7
10. Price - 18.7

AST/48
1. Teague - 11.1
2. Flynn - 10.9
3. Jennings - 10.2
3. Collison - 9.9
4. Terrence Williams! - 9.3
5. Maynor - 9.1
6. Evans - 8.7
7. Price - 7.9
8. Thornton - 6.7
9. Curry - 6.3
10. Beaubois - 4.6

AST/TO
1. Flynn - 12.00
2. Jennings - 5.40
3. Price - 3.33
4. Thornton - 3.33
5. Evans - 3.00
6. Terrence Williams! - 2.80
7. Collison - 2.07
8. Holiday - 2.00
9. Wesley Matthews - 2.00
10. Curry - 1.83

AST
1. Collison - 7.8 (37.5 MPG)
2. Jennings - 6.8 (31.8)
3. Evans - 6.0 (33.0)
4. Flynn - 6.0 (26.5)
5. Thornton - 5.0 (36.0)
6. Curry - 3.7 (28.0)
7. Terrence Williams! - 3.5 (18.0)
8. Price - 3.3 (20.3)
9. Maynor - 2.3 (12.3)
10. Lawson - 2.3 (25.8)

Oh What the Hell, February Rookie Scoring
The only thing the Curry hypesters had going for them....

1. Thornton - 23.5 (.462)
2. Evans - 22.5 (.586)
3. Collison - 16.5 (.443)
4. Lawson - 15.5 (.688)
5. Curry - 14.3 (.410)
6. Casspi - 13.0 (.452)
7. Flynn - 12.5 (.364)
8. Blair - 12.0 (.600)
9. Jerebko - 10.0 (.520)
10. Matthews - 10.0 (.400)

3 PT shooting this month
1. Lawson - .750
2. Beaubois - .714 (2.3 ATT)
3. Jerebko - .667
4. Evans - .500 (3.0)
5. Thornton - .438 (8.0)
6. Flynn - .429 (3.5)
7. Collison - .400 (3.8)
8. Curry - .357 (4.7)
9. Maynor - .333
10. Harden - .300 (3.3)

Warriors Screw Over Another Bill Duffy Client

2010-02-06T16:08:00.000-08:00

Speedy Claxton was cut today for... Anthony Tolliver.

The team insider fat cat season ticket holder suckers say Larry Riley is after Iguodala, Luol Deng, and Caron Butler, so an extra $5 million or so in expiring salary (possibly NOT insurance covered b/c... he was healthy???) was useless. Uh huh.

Claxton wanted to play when the season started.
The Warriors med staff shut him down. At least we can always trust the Warriors med staff.

Anthony Morrow said so.

Warriors Campaigned Heavily to Shut League's Best 3PT Shooter Out of 3PT Contest

2010-02-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

The entire season, proven Warriors vets and the hard-working former D-Leaguers and undrafteds the team has intentionally cast its lot with, have been clearing way for the Golden Child, Stephen Curry. He arrived with his own blog on GQ and all the ESPN talking heads talking about him. Loudly. But he's been a disaster at everything but statistical percentages on shooting and twitter followers and the Warriors locker room is in incredible shambles "behind the scenes." All because the team handed the team over to this spoiled brat from Day One and smears its own players on the side in the process. EVERYONE wants out. Even GQ, the Media Darling 6th man Daddy Complex empty gym stat pad Champ, the garbage time All Star, hates playing for the Warriors.

Last season, Anthony Morrow shot .467 from the three point mark. He led the league by more than a full percentage point (Jameer Nelson - .453). Jason Kapono led the league by such a margin the season before. And he'd led the league with an unreal .514 percentage in 2006-07 while the next highest percentage, owned by Steve Nash, was "only" .455. Kapono won the All Star weekend 3PT shootout in back to back seasons in which he led the league in 3 PT shooting. Anthony Morrow has not rattled off such dominance yet in the regular season and will not get a chance to dominate the shooting contest he was born to own.

Morrow was mixing it up with Reggie Miller on TNT last season and was discussed regularly around the league as a lock to make the contest this year. His sweet stroke is well known and much admired. And yet, no invitation to compete with Channing Frye and Paul Pierce for downtown dominance.

Somehow, the league concocted a strange invitation to the Rookie-Sophomore game for Morrow when Rose was selected to the real All Star team. This is about the least relevant way Morrow could possibly have been shown off. He's a specialist with enough extracurricular NBA athleticism, tenacity, and talent to stay on the floor to do his thing, shooting the rock. But the BEST place to show him off and the correct way to reward him for all of his hard work last year and forever as a notorious gym rat with a world class stroke.... is in the 3 PT contest. Want to push hard work, D League dues paying (though Morrow was never in the D League), and four years of college? Morrow's your guy.

Instead, Stern went with the hype gimmick and the Warriors will next reward Morrow with a round of Hardball! negotiations resulting in Morrow taking the Qualifying Offer or the CJ Watson Special CJ Watson just rejected so he can get the hell away from these psychopaths as soon as possible. Because the Warriors did NOT go to bat for Morrow in the 3PT contest. EXACTLY the opposite. Typical contract-relevant lobbying AGAINST the team's own player. After the Monta Ellis fining and the Andris Biedrins incentives witholding, this should surprise no one.

Morrow has recently been held out of Warriors games by the complicit-in-Tank Warriors medical staff. He was perfectly healthy the night Corey Maggette's defensive wizardry flopped into his teammate's knee. But the team saw its chance and pounced. Now Morrow's ready to go in a pickup streetball one-on-one game but not ready for the 3PT contest?

He's qualified for league leaders in 3PT percentage.
His percentage ranks 6th in the league, higher than all but one Shootout contestant (Pierce).
The league knows him and knows his shot.

But, as Marcus Thompson II said, this is a popularity contest.

The slobbering masses who pay folks like Chris Cohan scads of money for bad basketball know who the pretty-mouthed little shithead legacy brat from some crappy basketball school is. They're primed to forget Anthony Morrow already. The team had an obligation to its young player and its fans to do what was right and put the league's best 3 point shooter in the 3 point shooting contest. Instead, they chose the easy money route and continue to go all in on the GQ Curry hype campaign as they shit on the relevant NBA talent and rotation pieces that could eventually lead to, you know, actually winning some games.

They've now intentionally and ACTIVELY (with actual lobbying calls to league offices and everything) put Curry ahead of Morrow. They've replaced Ellis and Morrow with Curry for all future intents and purposes. THIS is precisely what Robert Rowell's Fist Bump on draft day- the one Larry Riley couldn't believe was happening as it happened to him- was all about.

Rowell found his salary dump messiah, a coddled legacy media darling the league could not POSSIBLY crap on just because the Warriors landed him. The Warriors drafted GQ Curry to shoot, shoot, shoot, as I said after the draft. NOT to play point guard. He sucks at point guard. David Thorpe didn't mention him ONCE in his midseason point guard awards. He called him the best rookie shooter at the midway point. And he called him the "most improved," whatever that means (AJ Price was co-named). The league is feeling the pinch on the overblown national media frenzy on GQ. This is their last shot to salvage the hype machine this season.

He'd better fucking win the damn thing after his daddy and the Warriors lobbied to get him in the contest. This is all he and the Warriors have going for them, like Jason Richardson's dunk contest greatness not so long ago. And they're all in. They're all in.

OKC Youth good, GSW Snark not. January rookie "point" guard review.

2010-02-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

Darren Collison recently set the rookie record for assists in a game this season with 18 in a big road win at Memphis in Chris Paul's absence. Collison will get another shot at leading the Hornets now that Paul will miss 1-2 months (and the All Star game) to have knee surgery. This probably means the Hornets are about to trade major pieces, too, so Collison's numbers could actually take a dip if the talent around him takes a big hit via cash dumps. But he was dynamite earlier in the season with Paul out. Worth paying attention to.

Curry turned in another terrible, terrible game faking point guard last night. His TOs and dumb fouls are a huge problem, not to mention the complete lack of impact his useless Nellie stats have upon good team play or winning basketball. CLASSIC 6th man stuff. Which is fine. No shame in that. But the team has to admit the fact in order to proceed reasonably and either cash in on the remains of his hype value or fire Nelson and go bigger and faster while playing far more defense. In either case, Curry starting next to Ellis is no longterm ideal. More likely than any rational team building approach: Monta Ellis is traded for terrible return, perhaps as ridiculous as direct cash savings for Cohan via expiring contracts covered by insurance. You know, like the Harrington-Crawford dumps last year and then the Jackson dump this year.

Coby Karl debuted for the Warriors in OKC last night and was awesome at all the point guard-y things the team lacks when forcing Monta and Curry to co-exist. 6 AST, 0 TO (from a Warriors point guard?!), and 2 STL. Some fouls but he was a major positive on the floor at all times besides that. BIG point guard. The myth will be that he and Curry form a formidable backcourt duo. Wrong. Curry does not move well without the ball, is not a slashing threat, and would be relegated to jump shooting duty, period. It's his best role but he's already an easy one-on-one cover. He needs B/C squad defense on him in order to put his NellieBall points up. Karl's Warriors debut was so point guard-rific, it shut the Warriros plants and apologists up good and makes Curry 100% expendable in any deal to improve the team. On Earth, at least. In Hype La-La land, Curry is better than Steve Nash. Uh huh.

Most folks in the Bay Area aren't even paying attention any more but Nellie coaches the stat sheet box score drooling masses like no one else. It's so worth it.

Nellie benched Curry frequently against OKC, including crunch time as Karl and Monta brought the team back to the brink of victory before NellieBall killed all momentum. Ellis took and missed the quick clock 3 that probably sealed it, but that's the playbook. Baron did it. Jackson did it. Everyone does it under Nellie's listless heaving. The team was looking ready last season as Ellis came back to health. Now they're just lost and the cash dump of Ellis is a sure move in the next two weeks. Enjoy your Nellie points from the 6th man draft pick, dummies!

AST Ratio (season)
1. Maynor - 31.9
2. Teague - 28.8
3. Lawson - 27.7
4. Holiday - 26.9
5. Collison - 27.4
6. Curry - 23.6
7. Jennings - 22.9
8. Flynn - 20.5
9. Beaubois - 18.6
10. Evans - 18.4

AST/48
1. Jennings - 9.5
2. Collison - 8.7
3. Gaines - 8.3
4. Holiday - 8.0
5. Beaubois - 7.8
6. Maynor - 7.7
7. Flynn - 7.5
8. Lawson - 7.2
9. Teague - 7.0
10. Evans - 6.6

AST/TO
1. Gaines - 4.67
2. Lawson - 3.33
3. Jennings - 3.00
4. Collison - 2.21
5. Evans - 2.15
6. Holiday - 2.11
7. Maynor - 2.11
8. Terrence Williams! - 2.00
9. Curry - 1.88
10. Flynn - 1.83

AST
1. Jennings - 6.6 (33.3 MPG)
2. Evans - 5.1 (36.7)
3. Curry - 5.1 (39.5)
4. Flynn - 4.8 (30.6)
5. Lawson - 3.6 (24.4)
6. Collison - 2.8 (15.5)
7. Holiday - 2.7 (15.9)
8. Maynor - 2.7 (16.5)
9. Price - 2.4 (19.9)
10. Terrence Williams! - 2.0 (15.6)

Oracle Arena Parking/Outhouses = Cohan Cheap

2010-01-31T13:06:00.000-08:00

Parking at Oracle is $18 for Warriors games. I've seen LOTS of cars turning around at the gate lately when the drivers find this out after taking their free gift or rock bottom price tix for their one What the Hell trip to a Warriors game this season.

I was chatting with the arena lot folks about the outhouses being gone after the Raiders season. Pretty quick response: Cohan refuses to pay to have them there for his few remaining paying customers to use.

You're welcome.

DJ Augustin dominates GQ Stat Pad

2010-01-30T12:56:00.001-08:00

Augustin did his damage in game-relevant situations. Curry was an abomination but got to go back in for garbage time at the end of the game after Nellie threw it in the trash can at halftime. Here endeth the lesson.

Chris Paul decides he would like to play in the All Star game...

2010-01-27T22:26:00.001-08:00

... instead of Monta Ellis.
Because, you know, it was in question.

Marcus Thornton and Darren Collison shame li'l GQ Curry in front of his daddy.
But Hot Dog got his Nellie Stats after the blow out!

This team is bullshit.
Come on Larry- kill me now.

Warriors rejected a chance at the Starting Western Conference All Star Center, and other tales of dysfunction -PLUS- He's not a point guard: Goran Dragic DOMINATED Stephen Curry.

2010-01-24T14:12:00.000-08:00

The myth that GQ Curry was ever going to be a legit starting NBA point guard just died last night in Phoenix. Horrible, HORRIBLE game management despite Don Nelson's first full game preparation since early December. TWO assists?! He looked lost and useless as a team leader and distributor at all times. Curry is, hands down, the WORST guard penetrator from this year's draft class. That's just shocking for a player being hyped as a difference maker upside POINT guard. So far off the mark...

Nelson and Curry both failed miserably and it's time to make the change in the coach's seat.

There is absolutely no shame in acknowledging that the team picked Curry to score right away as a high percentage jump shooter and to add some of the oh-so-beloved Belinelli-style shit wing handles/passing versatility so the isolation scoring options are plentiful and the team's fast break acumen assured as the number one option at all times. I nailed the Warriors' draft day philosophy of equal parts marketing ploy and Nellie Ball volume scoring bull shit to the WALL way back when:
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/11/matchup-weve-all-been-watiting-for.html

Curry's only passing advantage in the league is in transition offense and specifically on outlet passes off the rebound. He seems to lead his teammates fairly well on such plays now and then, though he routinely kills the break with bad or late reads on play development and he (despite Jim Barnett's overdrive masturbation over the kid at the behest of the dwindling Warriors PR Team authority) flat out sucks at running advantage breaks thus far. Someone should count the number of times the team fails to score when Curry leads a 2-on-1 or 3-on-1 break.

The passes he's sometimes capable of making in transition are fair assets in a good team's offensive/circumstantial arsenal but, really, all NBA players are expected to read and push the break and those over-the-top fancy pants lobs to a lead breaker needn't be as high risk or flashy as Curry inevitably makes them. And as for simple bounce passes? Forget it. Curry's a complete disaster at recognizing and executing the most fundamental basketball pass of all to net positive outcome in actual game situations. The break, on the other hand, is all Don Nelson thinks about. Like really- that's ALL he's thinking about. Easy break offense run run run chuck bull shit. So Curry doesn't look like a lost cause on the break since the team relentlessly "drills" the break in its planning- and often head coach-free "practices." Translation: Warriors practices are mostly pick up street ball games.

CJ Watson looks great in the Nellie Ball "system" all the time. Get over it, dip shits.

The drooling masses get worked up over a hot 10-0 scoring run on some 3 pointers and dunks once every 8 or 9 games. It's all they know and all they've got. But it's also all Don Nelson and Stephen Curry know and all they've got. And they really don't have it much. Meanwhile, Curry is fouling and shooting. Not making team offense better, not developing in half court pressure offense situations, and not leading the team at all. Ronny Turiaf and co. have to put on this ridiculous public display of support for the brat whose arrival and silver spoon DECIMATED team chemistry. Rowell and co. rushed to blame Stephen Jackson. He's crazy and should have NEVER been signed to that ridiculous contract... but he seems to listen to Larry Brown under his typical 18 month probationary effort period in Charlotte (Friday!). Just think if he were an expiring contract for the Warriors to trade to a contender right now. Jackson didn't do anything the league didn't already know he would once the Warriors went all in on GQ Shit Wing. But Rowell couldn't blame the locker room unrest on his draft choice debacle and the failure to land the STARTING WESTERN CONFERENCE ALL STAR CENTER due to either the kind of low-balling that made them non-players on Kevin Garnett or due to the Stephen Curry Hype Train. So he blamed his player. Of course.

That's Warriors basketball.

Rowell ousted Chris Mullin. There's a lucky man now, right? He got out of this mess just in time after bringing the organization its only years of competence, success, player happiness, and geneal professionalism. Rowell publicly humiliated his only top shelf NBA player, Monta Ellis, stole $3 million from him, and made him live for a year under threat of having his entire life's work VOIDED. All just to flex and to no team benefit. Monta worked his ass off and showed Rowell what a fool he was. Because now Rowell can't trade Monta and still has the Curry mess to try to pimp.

Rowell lied to his chosen best players, Jackson and Ellis, after another contrived meeting of the "minds" in which he PROMISED the draft pick that became Stephen Curry would be used to acquire a difference maker. The team pulled out of the deal on draft day, effectively, the moment they said "let's wait until we see who's there." They never committed and, in typical Warriors fashion, never had the balls to push the button. Amar'e sniffed them out, they low balled him, and the Warriors struck out again.

I love Andris Biedrins, I want him on the team I root for, and I don't put major faith in Amar'e Stoudemire for all eternity. But I didn't lie to Monta Ellis and Stephen Jackson about any of this. Now Rowell is in hard on Curry and Corey Maggette, his other brilliant signing. So the bull shit All Star yammering from Jim Barnett and Bob Shitzgerald when the topic is Corey "empty points in worthless losses" Maggette is easy enough to decipher. Rowell's running scared as Cohan's latest basketball-incompetent bean counter. Garry St. Jean runs the worst post game in the league now, just for good measure.

The players and assistant coaches know we're all watching, they know the spoiled brat was crushed to have to come to Oakland- he REFUSED to work out for the team- they know the team itself is out of ideas and out of options, and they know he's a neurotic freak when he doesn't get his personal stats. So they have to make nice, have to mug for the cameras. All the while Ronny doesn't rebound or defend consistently and is a caricature approaching a contract year at this point. The other players don't know why Don Nelson suddenly threw all former arguments for young player floor time out the window when this short old rookie showed up and they're confused as hell and being ordered to sit out under crazy injury conditions in Oakland. Really mysterious stuff. It's getting ugly in Warriorland and the smiling faces are the surest clue that it's about to go nuclear.

This kid's body language and flat out crazy self-involvement on the professional basketball court is disgusting. The entire season has become all about Curry's personal success and comfort. Every vet is ordered to cheer him up when he sulks around after his latest miserable failure at anything besides what he has done his whole life: me-first scoring against bad or no defense. And it just looks trite and pathetic. It happens throughout every game he plays. Those points come easy and Nellie sets him up to hit his average EARLY every game. Some day I may run his first quarter stats for the world. It's illuminating. But this entire Warriors season has been devoted to not accepting a massive draft day and February failure while still planning for the Andris Biedrins contract dump trade, only now without the draft pick/Curry included. And since the team sucks/tanks (damn those injuries!) SO bad that it may have a shot at the top pick, THAT pick is now a BILLION times more valuable than Curry! They can't trade IT, either! They've got JACK. SHIT. And yet Larry Riley stokes the morons as much as he can (no one's really paying attention any more besides we die hards and grisled Warriors vets) with promises of big time deals. Uh huh. Sure. We're holding our breath. Meanwhile, Nellie gets another huge point output from a shit wing D League stud like Anthony Tolliver (our new starting Power Forward) and Cartier Martin is AWESOME!

I've got nothing against the D League. I respect it a ton. But Nelson proves beyond all doubt that he isn't here to coach legit team ball and the parts in his idiotic slop ball offense-only attack are inifinitely modular. This is not a good thing. And it also means the Warriors are out of excuses when it comes to player "injuries" and "youth." Nellie can do Nellieball all by himself. Portland fans are wondering where this Anthony Tolliver came from. Their version couldn't learn their systems and was lost on all sides of the ball because McMillan coaches strategy and defense and such. Not that McMillan is a world-beater. I think he's about done in Portland if they want to take the next step. But the team results speak for themselves as Portland suffers through bad injuries. Better team, harder schemes. Smarter players succeed more than dumb ones there. Nellie can get points out of... anyone.

It's Curry or bust for the Warriors now and they know the score.

The Warriors are committed forever now on the myth that Stephen Curry ever was or ever would be a viable starting NBA point guard on a good team. They first thought they'd push Monta Ellis out with the little spoiled brat Hot Dog. That ploy died when Nelson's offense turned Ellis into a fringe All Star game option and Ellis' own passing turned him into a recognizable name among league leaders in assists per game: he's all the team has going for it. Not that Ellis is any sort of world-beating point guard on a team as poorly constructed and medically "exceptional" as this hot mess. Not even Corey Maggette's meaningless career statistical explosion looks good. Just imagine how far Curry's point totals plummet outside the consequence-free, minutes-overload Shangri-La of this desperate and through Warriors braintrust! But Ellis is unquestionably the only even possibly premier starting player on the team. And he's playing irrelevant, stupid basketball as much as anyone else.

Stephen Curry was destroyed head to head by Goran Dragic
Back to back fatigue for Curry against Phoenix, you say? You played him 48 fucking minutes in a blowout over NJ to PAD HIS FUCKING STATS, old man. And Corey Maggette seemed fine last night. So the homer moron toolz and PR plants spamming fan forums posing as concerned ex-jocks and the like had better just keep their "positivity" to themselves. They have denied that Don Nelson overplayed his players and have denied that Stephen Curry is a 6th man ceiling scorer in this league but they've lost both cases decisively. Last night was merely a bit of icing on top of their shit cake. The PR clowns just ate it hard.

Brandon Jennings was ELECTRIC at True Point Guard last night. 13 assists and only one turnover. He was an available point guard if the team wanted one at 7. So was Ty Lawson. They didn't really want one, as I've already covered and linked, above. They wanted the most scoring-ready little guard they could get. Enjoy the meaningless, useless Nellie points dummies. While Ty Lawson posts an unreal 4.62 AST/TO ratio this month, becomes Denver's starting point guard of the future, and helps them win NOW, GQ Curry isn't progressing as a distributor AT ALL. In fact, he's getting WORSE as the season goes on. Worse.

AST Ratio (season)
1. Maynor - 32.3
2. Teague - 29.0
3. Lawson - 28.8
4. Holiday - 26.9
5. Collison - 26.1
6. Curry - 23.3
7. Jennings - 22.8
8. Flynn - 19.9
9. Price - 18.7
10. Evans - 18.1

January Update

AST/TO
1. Lawson - 4.62
2. Beaubois - 3.00
3. Gaines - 3.00
4. Jennings - 2.86
5. Holiday - 2.58
6. Maynor - 2.50
7. Collison - 2.12
8. Evans - 2.08
9. Green - 2.00
10. Flynn - 1.80

AST/48
1. Jennings - 9.8
2. Lawson - 9.4
3. Holiday - 8.5
4. Maynor - 8.2
5. Gaines - 7.6
6. Beaubois - 7.3
7. Collison - 6.7
8. Flynn - 6.7
9. Price - 6.6
10. Teague - 6.3
11. Evans - 6.3
12. Green - 6.1
13. Curry - 5.5

AST1. Jennings - 6.7 (32.6 MPG)
2. Lawson - 5.3 (26.9)
3. Evans - 4.9 (37.4)
4. Flynn - 4.5 (32.3)
5. Curry - 4.5 (39.2)
6. Maynor - 2.9 (17.0)
7. Price - 2.8 (20.8)
8. Holiday - 2.8 (15.9)
9. Collison - 1.5 (11.1)
10. Teague - 1.2 (9.3)

What the hell: Rookie PER

2010-01-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

We're halfway through the season.
Here are the top 21 in dividends paid by the 2009 draft thus far:

1. Tyreke Evans - 18.90
2. Ty Lawson - 17.38
3. DeJuan Blair - 17.11
4. Brandon Jennings - 15.69
5. Hasheem Thabeet - 15.48
6. Omri Casspi - 14.95
7. Tyler Hansbrough - 14.84
8. James Harden - 14.60
9. Marcus Thornton - 14.40
10. Serge Ibaka - 14.01
11. Sam Young - 13.98
12. Chase Budinger - 13.93
13. Derrick Brown - 13.89
14. A.J. Price - 13.88
15. Toney Douglas - 13.85
16. Eric Maynor - 13.69
17. Rodrigue Beaubois - 13.59
18. Jonny Flynn - 13.46
19. Taj Gibson - 13.30
20. Stephen Curry - 13.13
21. Darren Collison - 13.08

Dead last is the awful Terrence Williams. Remember when you dipshit Warriors hypesters were losing your minds over that piece of crap? Suckers once, suckers always.

Hollinger Season AST Ratio & Updated January Rookie PG stats

2010-01-21T19:15:00.000-08:00

I'll start tracking a new stat for rookie PGs I guess, the season assist ratio. This statistic measures the percentage of a player's possessions that end in assists. John Hollinger calculates this number using magic and a vintage Casio wrist calculator watch, circa 1983. It's the only non-shooting percentage attack on Jennings the ass holes have found and because they don't understand what it means, they think it indicates Jennings isn't an extremely effective distributor. They should just stick to agreeing with me when I say Jennings is sort of a moron who shoots way too fucking much.

AST Ratio (season)
1. Maynor - 31.8
2. Teague - 29.1
3. Lawson - 28.4
4. Holiday - 26.9
5. Collison - 26.3
6. Curry - 23.9
7. Jennings - 22.5
8. Flynn - 20.1
9. Price - 19.7
10. Evans - 18.4

AST/48
1. Jennings - 9.5
2. Lawson - 8.8
3. Holiday - 8.4
4. Maynor - 7.8
5. Price - 7.3
6. Flynn - 7.1
7. Evans - 6.9
8. Collison - 6.9
9. Gaines - 6.7
10. Teague 6.7

AST/TO
1. Lawson - 3.86
2. Jennings - 2.60
3. Holiday - 2.60
4. Evans - 2.45
5. Gaines - 2.33
6. Maynor - 2.25
7. Collison - 2.17
8. Flynn - 2.09
9. Price - 1.79
10. Teague - 1.67

AST
1. Jennings - 6.5 (33.0 MPG)
2. Evans - 5.4 (38.1)
3. Lawson - 5.4 (29.4 MPG)
4. Flynn - 4.8 (32.6)
5. Curry - 4.4 (38.1)
6. Price - 3.1 (20.4)
7. Holiday - 2.9 (16.6)
8. Maynor - 2.7 (16.7)
9. Collison - 1.4 (10.1)
10. Teague - 1.3 (9.0)

Update: January Rookie "point" guard measures

2010-01-19T17:08:00.000-08:00

Johnny Flynn and Brandon Jennings had MONSTER games yesterday.

George Karl and the Nuggets were ebullient in their praise for Ty Lawson's importance to their elite team play, and welcomed him back loudly last week. Jrue Holiday has just about passed Lawson up for January AST/TO lead, though, as he weathers the idiotic reign of terror in Philadelphia. Rodrigue Beaubois is coming back to game play and still putting up incredibly efficient rates but I'm holding him out of the month's rankings due to games missed. Sundiata Gaines has been the best D League call up in the league so far, a real lightning bolt bench guard for a searching Utah team. He got his shot because Eric Maynor was sent to be the essential backup to Russell Westbrook with James Harden immediately backing up Kevin Durant and co. as the leading rookie 6th man of the year candidate on a stacked and playoff-bound Oklahoma City Thunder squad that continues to hit youth development and efficient team building out of the park. Presti is the best in the business.

A.J. Price is still making a strong case for Steal of the Draft while helping Indiana to its first winning January this late in the month in a long, long time. But DeJuan Blair would beg to differ as he starts for the surging Western powerhouse Spurs. Tyreke Evans is doing his best to endure Kevin Martin's return. He was electric once the Kings benched the ineffective Martin in their last game and led the team to excellent results like it was still December. Not that long ago, Michael Redd really set the Bucks back by trying to play before he quit for the remainder of the season due to injury. A great young core of Bogut, Jennings, and Ilyasova was seriously disrupted by the volume shooting vet's demand for shots. Jerry Stackhouse's defensive focus and low volume touch demands will complement Brandon Jennings' elite rookie point guard work. Jennings is incredibly fun to watch when he's engaged in team play and not just playing one-on-one chuck ball. Jennings and Evans figure to continue their ROY battle so long as Kevin Martin is dealt soon.

Johnny Flynn continues to rise in the gross APG rankings while cleaning up his rates considerably this month, shaking off the Minnesota winter and the Rambis obstinancy to remind Ty Lawson there are still two pure point guards vying for Rookie of the Year right now. Jeff Teague and Darren Collison don't get a ton of time with Jamal Crawford's 6th Man of the Year campaign taking time in Atlanta and Chris Paul's trade showcase staying on the floor for long hours in New Orleans.

AST/48
1. Lawson - 10.0
2. Jennings - 9.6
3. Holiday - 8.8
4. Price - 8.2
5. Maynor - 7.7
6. Evans - 6.8
7. Gaines - 6.7
8. Flynn - 6.5
9. Teague 6.3
10. Collison - 5.9

AST/TO
1. Lawson - 3.86
2. Holiday - 3.83
3. Price - 2.46
4. Jennings - 2.46
5. Gaines - 2.33
6. Evans - 2.32
7. Maynor - 2.18
8. Teague - 2.00
9. Flynn - 1.90
10. Collison - 1.67

AST
1. Lawson - 6.8 (32.5 MPG)
2. Jennings - 6.6 (32.7)
3. Evans - 5.5 (38.7)
4. Flynn - 4.4 (32.8)
5. Curry - 4.3 (36.8)
6. Price - 3.6 (20.8)
7. Holiday - 2.9 (15.6)
8. Maynor - 2.7 (16.7)
(X) Casspi - 2.0 (34.7) He does it ALL!
9. Collison - 1.3 (10.1)
10. Teague - 1.1 (8.7)

Anthony Morrow wasn't hurt, Biedrins is pissed, Nellie hates Curry

2010-01-16T15:16:00.000-08:00

Morrow was jumping up and down and looking GREAT when he returned to the sidelines after he left the game briefly following Corey Maggette's flop into his leg. I watched Mark Grabow make the call as Tom Abdenour reported some bull shit to him. Morrow now reports via Twitter that he's fine, knee "a little sore." It was all for me. Why drag him out to jump up and down when you can do that in the locker room? Here comes the torn ACL announcement next, right? Ha. Too easy.

He could have played.

More lies and gimmick excuse-rigging from a done set of snarky morons in Warriorland.

The Don Nelson yank of Biedrins with 4 fouls for Hunter's crap ass with FIVE right before Hunter fouled out (he SUCKS) was also a classic round of player screw-over. Biedrins was speechless. The Fat Ass STH's who sit right next to the Warriors bench looked my way immediately and saw me with my mouth hanging open, staring at Nellie mostly but the Midlife Crises Brothers a bit, too. They quickly dropped their heads to stare at the tops of their douchey Italian shoes and too-tight designer jeans. Idiots.

Biedrins: PISSED.
When's the trade?

Nelson looked like he hates Stephen Curry and his pretty boy mouthing off, by the way.
Worth a look. Totally turned away from him in disgust several times to yell at the players Rowell told him it was OK to publicly humiliate after GQ told Nellie what's up with his shitty play and why he won't fix it for Nelson. Stephen Silas, meanwhile, goes right to GQ and holds his jock strap for him throughout the game. Silas will be such a fucking disaster Nellie replacement once the Keith Smart ouster is complete. Curry was a basketball imbecile all second half under Silas' watchful eye.

Then they played video games all night together.

Update: Keith Smart would have won & January rookie "point" guards

2010-01-16T12:42:00.000-08:00

Remember when Keith Smart got road wins against Western playoff teams with only 6 players while Nellie tanned on Maui? Uh huh. Leading rookie rebounders in January: DeJuan Blair and Omri Casspi. Must be nice.

After Stephen Curry's ridiculous shit game last night, it's clear he's no point guard. And he always seems to play 40+, doesn't he? Skiles manages Jennings at 30-32 MPG this month so far. See the numbers below to see how ineffective Curry is per minute in relevant point guard measures. And yet the free pass because he got Nellie Ball shitwing style! Others leave no doubt they are NBA point guards.

Increasingly, it seems that Curry's shot and 6th man-style bad-defense-exploitation scoring is all he has in this league and even that is no guarantee. He scored a quick 6 points in the final 1:40 of the second quarter while the Bucks coasted into the half but was absolute shit throughout the ENTIRETY of the other 46+ minutes in the game. But of course tried and failed to chuck stat pad 3's to close both halves, the game-ender after committing a foul like a moron in a situation that resulted in 3 free points for the opposition and put the game decisively in the can after Jennings smoked him straight up with an ice cold 3 bomb in his face, but also GOT HIM THE BALL BACK! Savor your shitball steals, Baron Davis fans. Losses losses losses and no team defense of note whatsoever. Omri Casspi crushes GQ for pressure scoring work so far if that's what you want, while also adding hard-nosed toughness and some rebounding/defending size and versatility to the equation.

The transition to the league is rough, the distances further (even though I'm sure GQ Head Case has been practicing NBA 3's his whole life), the players bigger (faster, better, more intelligent, better coached, less douchey). So he gets some time to develop one might say. I might agree if he wasn't so gung-ho and all for the me-first stat-padding shit ball Nelson plays for him as he uses him PRECISELY as I said he would: highest percentage gunner coming out of college and some handles/passing potential. But mostly just chuck chuck chuck and the percentages dip MIGHTILY in true matchups with better, faster players. Like Brandon Jennings and Luke Ridnour (seriously- watch games folks).

Li'l GQ Stat Pad

(like a wee-wee pad only with an X-box addiction.
Digression: whole league loves video games, folks. STFU with smears of players you don't like that you've based entirely upon video game habits. Fucking Lebron and Durant LOVE their video games. It's a league of children, sports fans. Learn it or get out the effin way)

...got absolutely SMOKED by Brandon Jennings last night.

Jennings is an annoying little shit and he dribbles too much with a Gilbert Arenas-level head case one-on-one agenda when matched up against his draft day "rival" Curry. But he's a point guard and he was electric once Skiles noted the Warriors' "defense" and made adjustments to team offense movement for the second half instead of just letting the Bucks stand around with the Warriors' coaching "staff" thinking Jennings was allowed to do whatever he wanted at all times through the first half. Skiles COMPLETELY smoked Nellie and Stephen Silas last night. Once Skiles' offensive sets were in for the real game after the break, Jennings handed Curry and the Warriors their collective asses while Ray Ridder and Bob Fitzgerald got the injury excuses ready for the post game slobbering (they seemed fine with an 8 point lead at halftime and Cartier Martin's brief departure certainly didn't change anything). Jim Barnett is really losing his shit, too. Rowell and Nelson's bizarro death march has been hardest on him. The death knells are deafening of late. This is the end, Jim. Accept it. Prepare for life in Florida.

The Warriors had Jennings convinced they were taking him before they took the shitwing he just smoked on the home court. It apparently pissed him off. He wins this one hands down.

Oh yeah and:

AST/48
1. Lawson - 12.0
2. Price - 9.1
3. Jennings - 8.9
4. Holiday - 8.4
5. Maynor - 7.6
6. Gaines - 7.1
7. Teague 6.6
7. Collison - 6.5
8. Evans - 6.3
9. Flynn - 5.9

AST/TO
1. Lawson - 4.33
2. Gaines - 3.50
3. Holiday - 3.33
4. Maynor - 2.57
5. Price - 2.31
6. Jennings - 2.16
7. Evans - 2.14
8. Teague - 2.00
9. Flynn - 1.72
10. Curry - 1.56

AST
1. Lawson - 8.7 (34.7 MPG)
2. Jennings - 5.9 (31.6)
3. Evans - 5.0 (38.3)
4. Curry - 4.0 (35.7)
5. Flynn - 3.9 (31.6)
6. Price - 3.8 (19.9)
7. Holiday - 2.9 (16.3)
8. Maynor - 2.6 (16.3)
9. Gaines - 1.4 (9.4)
10. Teague - 1.3 (9.7)

Update: Rookie Guard Season PER & January PG stats

2010-01-13T09:43:00.000-08:00

PER
1. Evans - 18.37
2. Lawson - 17.73
3. Jennings - 15.90
4. Harden - 14.64
5. Maynor - 14.29
6. Douglas - 13.90
7. Beaubois - 13.74
8. Flynn - 13.63
9. Curry - 13.39
10. Collison - 13.36

AST/48
1. Mills - 19.2
2. Lawson - 12.0
3. Price - 8.9
4. Holiday - 8.3
5. Jennings - 8.3
6. Maynor - 7.8
7. Gaines - 7.8
8. Collison - 6.5
9. Evans - 6.4
10. Hudson - 6.4

AST/TO
1. Gaines - 6.00
2. Lawson - 4.33
3. Holiday - 3.75
4. Maynor - 2.80
5. Jennings - 2.70
6. Price - 2.44
7. Evans - 2.36
8. Curry - 2.00
9. Flynn - 1.50
10. Teague - 1.50

AST
1. Lawson - 8.7 (34.7 MPG)
2. Jennings - 5.4 (31.4)
3. Evans - 5.2 (38.8)
4. Curry - 4.0 (34.0)
5. Price - 3.7 (19.7)
6. Flynn - 3.5 (30.3)
7. Holiday - 3.0 (17.4)
8. Maynor - 2.8 (17.2)
9. Mills - 2.0 (5.0)
10. Gaines - 1.5 (9.3)

January Comparison: AJ Price vs. GQ Curry

2010-01-10T13:58:00.000-08:00

li'l GQ Hot Dog was about the worst "point" guard among all rookies in December. It was pathetic.
http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/12/update-december-rookie-pgs-and-go-green.html

Heavy minutes, heavy losses. Curry can't stay on the floor due to foul trouble and is a significantly negative "defensive" presence. Nellie Ball!

This January, Curry settling into his chucking one-dimensional role in the league as a future 6th man (maybe) and a minutes uptick for mega-upside sleeper future All Star A.J. Price brings Curry's free pass and shot force-feeding early in the team's games into sharp focus. Also, Price hasn't missed a free throw yet this month:

Price
19.2 MPG / 11.8 PPG / 4.0 APG / 2.0 RPG / 1.2 TO / 1.2 PF / .478 FG% / .467 3PT%

AST/TO: 3.33
AST/48: 10.00
Indiana Pacers Record: 2-3

Curry
33.5 MPG / 15.8 PPG / 3.8 APG (3.7 last month) / 2.5 RPG / 2.0 TO /
4.0 PF / .591 FG% / .667 3PT%

AST/TO: 1.88
AST/48: 5.4
Golden State Warriors Record: 2-2

A.J. Price: Rookie of the Year Candidate!

Maggette's Value: Static

2010-01-10T12:16:00.000-08:00

The team has Marcus Thompson releasing irrelevant accounts of Corey Maggette's "value" as they spam the forums with their sterling player comparisons (translation: money laundering criteria).

Meanwhile, they misdiagnose non-fractures as part of a rushed "excuse" announcement of a move they'd formalized weeks earlier. Your new starting Center:

Cartier Martin.

Did You Know? Stephen Curry is 5 Months Older than Jerryd Bayless

2010-01-02T14:04:00.000-08:00

Curry in December:
33.7 MPG, 13.5 PPG, 3.7 APG, 4.4 RPG, 2.7 TO, 3.5 PF, .445 FG, .397 3PT (58 ATT)
29 free throw attempts, 173 FGA
Warriors 3-12

Bayless in December:
21.5 MPG, 11.2 PPG, 2.9 APG, 1.9 RPG, 1.1 TO, 2.0 PF, .402 FG, .391 3PT (23 ATT)
71 free throw attempts, 127 FGA
Blazers 9-6